On a serious note. It is illegal to steal High Noon.

@DavidPortnoy

I think I've greatly underestimated how talented the Stoolies are. This is another entry into the #highnoontequila #contest. Winner picked tomorrow.

@DavidPortnoy

Happy Opening Day! And never forget this is where the legend of @ NjTank99 was born when I stumbled across this video. It's even funnier knowing him the way we do now. We had him on Barstool Radio the next day and the rest of history.

@DavidPortnoy

3 team opening day parlay from Davey Daynight. #BarstoolSportsbook

Brewers
Rangers
Marlins

+512

@DavidPortnoy

Anybody who thinks going after Trump for a paying a porn star to keep her mouth shit about an old affair is a good use of time or taxpayer dollars is a political pawn and can't be trusted to give a fair opinion on anything. It doesn't matter if you hate or love Trump. What a joke

@DavidPortnoy

That headbutt is the headbutt of a team that knows they are helplessly overmatched by the Celtics.

@DavidPortnoy

I apologize to everybody who follows @ Return_Of_RB on Twitter and has surely throw up in their mouths by now watching him tweet like he's a make a wish kid for the last 4 hours.

@DavidPortnoy

It should be the death penalty to give somebody a hotel room above bars/clubs without letting them know your room will sound like a club.

@DavidPortnoy

This is unacceptable. I've tried to be the team player guy with hotel rooms. I'm done being the team player guy. 5 star only now for your boy

@DavidPortnoy

Just spoke with front desk. Music stops at 2am. They seemed very well aware that there is little to no chance of anybody sleeping in my particular room before 2am. So I guess I'll just chill for the next 23 minutes.

@DavidPortnoy

Goodnight

@DavidPortnoy

Thank you to everybody who participated in the #highnoontequila contest. Tons of great entries. Insane amount of talent. It was super hard to pick a winner but somebody had to win. I will announce the winner at 8pm est. Thanks again! @ nooners

@DavidPortnoy

Where should we go for dinner tonight in Houston? Somewhat close to Kirby Ice House on Eastside

@DavidPortnoy

Just an Ohio State and Michigan man pal’ing around and talking ball

@DavidPortnoy

Kirby Ice House is such an awesome spot.

@DavidPortnoy

Barstool Pizza Review - Romano's Pizza (Houston, TX) presented by @ Skrill

@DavidPortnoy

Despite what you may have seen online, Rico has never been part of the Taliban

@DavidPortnoy

How many people on Auburn’s campus would take out @ coachbrucepearl for an Auburn football national championship?

@DavidPortnoy

Congrats to the winner of the first ever #highnoontequila contest @ TheresaStone91. Thank you to everyone who participated, there were a ton of great commercials

@DavidPortnoy

CAITLIN FUCKING CLARK!!!!

@DavidPortnoy