You know your spouse is ugly when your friends and family say to you "As long as you are happy" | @Forgrins

Doctor: So What kind of birth control are you using?
Me: my appearance 😔. | @Forgrins

​​When You finally sit down and your mom says
"Can You..."

WHEN THAT POST NUT CLARITY HITS
Random Girl on the internet: Are You interested in paying for Nudes?
Him: I don't need to be an economics major to explain to you this concept...You are charging for a service, that is one provided for free at a higher quantity, and quality. So really you should pay me to see your pics. Because frankly viewing them for free is a net loss in my book.
| @Forgrins

My Girlfriend just found out that she's adopted and she's devastated and kept asking " why didn't they want me?" i comforted her and after a while she asked me to make love to her which led to more tears, when i was banging her from behind and shouting "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!" was a little insensitive | @Forgrins

The past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared | @Forgrins

​​Your girlfriend after she doesn't something on purpose to make you mad

​​Younger Me: "When i get older and get a job i am going to buy everybody in my family presents"
Me now:

​​When You're at the barbershop and the worst barber is free and you make eye contact with him

whenever i tell someone where i live and they say "OMG that's so far" I'm like calm down I'm not inviting you over | @Forgrins

Him: i just heard that they're releasing a 10th fast and Furious movie
Her: oh yeah, what's it called?
Him: fast 10 your Seat belt | @Forgrins

I swear the days are going like: 1am, 2am, 3am, 4am | @Forgrins

What do you call a lost wolf?
A where- Wolf | @Forgrins

​​The face you make when someone starts a sentence with "can you please do me a favour"

​​Horoscope: "You Will eat today."
Zodiac people:

Nobody:

Not Even A Single Soul:

My Brain At 3am: Every Hand you Shake has held a dick | @Forgrins

​​Science: "Humans need at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep per night to function wall
My Body:

​​A reminder to all my Ethiopian people

Him: Hey, i like you and i was hoping we could go out on a date
Her: Sorry i don't date ugly people
Him: but I do | @Forgrins

My phone could be on 10% and my charger could be right next to me and i still won't plug it. | @Forgrins