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​​"My inside memoir"

I was talking with my friends from the Training course, in the classroom, after lunchtime, we were waiting when our 3rd class would begin, it may begin at any time, we waited for a coach. Someone had a phone call to my mobile, unknown numbers. It was my husband, with fierce he began to talk " It is your err! I told you, I warned you! -he said. " What is happened, I did not get you? Can you clarify? " - I asked. Your friend Salima did not repay her debts to the bank. You are bail on it Do you remember? He asked me. I swallowed, I knew what he meant. The debts were purchased from my account. It was hard for me, my daughter asked for a new pair of shoes from my salary. My debts also must be paid. No words to reply to my husband. I glanced to the window the sun was setting. It was the third time. Salima Husen would never pay back my money, I infer it. She had large debt and it was my mistake to be a guarantor for her. In a few seconds, I became deaf, then I heard that my husband was saying that I should have gone to her home and make a scandal, I replied with my agreement. At that time my coach entered the classroom with a smile. The audience stopped talking, Nellie was one of our coaches, her nationality looks like Russian but she is German. So she is so punctual and dependable to her work. I attempted to listen to the lesson, I strived to understand what was going on around me however I looked into Nellie's eyes and I thought about my problem what happened last time when I purchased all Salima's debts.
On that day, my husband came to my workstation and we had some dispute with him, I tried to explain to find out a solution but he didn't want to listen to me and slapped my face, I looked at the ground and didn't want to raise my head if raise my head I would see his savage face.
At that moment Salima called to my husband, I recognized her voice, her cheerful voice my husband began to talk about debts, and walked slowly away from me. He was standing in the far distance and he unknowingly raised his legs and was known to be in a good mood, smiled a little bit by holding the phone to his ear. Then he ended his conversation, started walking towards me. It was a mystery for me, I had a lot of questions in my head but 'why he went away, did he have a secret, why he smiled what did they talk about?' I felt some jealousy he came back and said he had some work to do urgently he needed to go. I didn't ask anything even didn't say a word. I turned back tried not to look back at the same time holding back my tears. That day was the day my husband slapped me for the first time. I remember that pain. I touched my left cheek and my tears were wiping my face.
Nellie shook her head at me and discussed something with the whole class. My mind stopped working and I started to cry. The classroom was silent I heard my voice, only my crying voice, I realized that everyone was silent and glanced at me. Nellie my coach looking at me with a questioning look.



Written by -> U.P


It's my first memoir happy to share it. I wanted to impart it
Any mistake or question?
Any feedback 😺
​​Chapter two
I stood up and looked around, eyes with queries like they were seeing me the first time. For the first time miserable, I looked at the coach then realized where were I. At that moment time stopped passing for me such as giving chance to cry or wanted to know why was I crying? expecting my explanation. I perceived the classroom became hotter and I could not breathe, something stuck in my throat. I mumbled " Sorry for... Sorry for it" and I seat in my place. I felt all in the class confused, they didn't have any idea about interrupt the class and ask about my condition or even how to continue their discussion. Silence seemed to me so long. My cheeks evolved hotter and hotter. My tears already stopped. Someone at my behind asked a question from the coach Nellie, it was a man, I knew he wanted to smooth the situation in the class like nothing was happen. Now I am thinking about how they are smart and elite. Without any word, someone put a bottle of water on my desk I could not look, more precisely I sensed myself guilty for it even I could not change my seating position I looked at my books talked with me. Judging me for my errors. It was around 4 pm Nellie came closer to me and muttered " If you want you may go earlier today, of course, IF YOU WANT, Ok "she stressed the last phrase. I replied with shaking my head. Even I wished I could not stand up and go at that time. There were about 30 people in the class at the same time I was lonely. Only my thoughts, my inside voice. The class was over, everyone went to their own life own family own home. Only I could not move Nellie glimpsed to me wanted to say something but nothing. She went I was alone. I called Salima the number was busy. She talked with someone. I craved to know how much did it take from my payment so I called my husband to know it. His number was also busy. I knew I guessed it. I needed to put an end to it. I called again and again to my husband. After the seventh or eighth I got a call, long beeps He took a phone " Aloo, hmm" it sounded like -what you need why you called, why you disturbed me...- I gulped " It is me, why you were so busy?" I inquired, " It was my mum, and it's not your business, I don't have to report to you. " He replied rudely. I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes. I attempt to be patient, I inhaled my breath and asked in a trembling voice" How much the bank took for debts?" -" All," he said and continued" I don't have time to talk, I need to call my friend, I will call you later." He put on the phone. I went downstairs, on the first floor there was an ATM, I checked the pockets of my bag, credit 💳 card was found in it. "Nice," I said to myself "I can check myself". I entered it and pushed the password then the expense history. The last was about today transfer the 1 290 000 sums to another credit card. How I asked myself. It should be no transfer. Something ignites inside me, I knew something is wrong. My husband said the bank took it for debts, but the history shows another. The music was playing. Familiar music 🎶, it was my mobile phone. I checked the numbers it's my mother in law, " Oh urgent call, I can not delay it" I said to myself. We chatted with her about her health at the same time I took my credit card back. I might check it at the bank, I thought and went out of the building. Suddenly, my mother-in-law asked about my husband she said that they did not have chat with him for 2 days. I stopped in the middle of the pavement. She continued to talk but I couldn't understand what she mean and what she talked about. I knew that I needed to go not to stop however didn't know what's happening with my life, with my family, might be it was beginning to break or already broken. Suddenly I heard a child's voice screaming, crying asking something from her mother so it reminded me that my child, my son was waiting at home and I needed to hurry. I had someone who needed me. I glanced around but so unfamiliar place strange buildings around me and it's nearly dark. I looked at my mobile, it switched off.
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Chapter three
After being lost and some panic, a stranger woman helped to find the way. I got to my mother's home at about 8 p.m It was a full moon night. My mom worried why I was so late. But I couldn't explain and made the only excuse. I took my son from my mother and rushed to go home. I believed that my husband was waiting for me for a long I needed to beg about the transfer, Salima's debts, and their friendship. In my mind, I strived to find the right words what to ask first and what to ask next. I was ready for all kinds of answers. My baby was exhausted so fell asleep in my arms. it was as if an angel was sleeping in my arms. I looked at him and ignored my troubles. My heartfelt at peace, a light entered my heart. I reached my home, knocked on my door. I stayed for some minutes though I took my keys inside my bag. There was no one waiting for me. I was surprised. I put my son on his bed. After putting my phone for a charge, I began to prepare something to dine. My meal was nearly ready, I took my mobile from the charger and turn on my mobile phone 📱 I got a message from my husband. He wrote that he could not contact me, he would come late, not to wait for dinner 🥣. I could not eat anything. I opened the window, it blew in a gentle breeze. I stared into the distant lantern lights My heartfelt something and beaten differently. Hearing my heart pounding, I closed my eyes and pressed my hand to my chest. After staying few minutes I turned off all lights and went to my bed. I cried without making a sound. I was nearly asleep.

It was about 5 a.m there was a sound of the door being unlocked and opened. My husband entered inside then went to have a shower. I got up and moved to the kitchen for preparing breakfast. When it was ready I looked for my husband. I entered the bedroom.
It was about 6 a.m. My husband was resting. He was lying on his stomach. I come closer to him and I glanced at him for some minutes. Nearby there was a statue of a fairy which was made of bronze. Staring at the statue yesterday's event embodied in front of me. When I wanted to exit from the bedroom, unexpectedly I heard the message delivery sound. My husband's mobile got a message from Salima. I couldn't read it fully because it was locked. But the beginning was clear" You didn't put me to sleep the last night, oh my crocodile..."

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