Copying a pro trader’s strategy is like trying to replicate a MotoGP turn on your little cousin’s tricycle.

It looks cool on screen, ends with gravel in your teeth.

Please... Don’t try this at home.

My 2025 crypto goal was to make $50,000.

Only $75,000 more to go.

Feeling incredibly on track.

Everyone talks about shitcoins, but the most stable one of all is the dollar.

Inflates forever, rugpulls slowly, and still nobody says no to it.

We are all complicit.

Trying to lose weight this summer, so I’m following the same diet as the altcoin market.

Extreme shrinkage, no carbs, all despair.

Feeling light-headed already....

Did you really think Trump was going to be good for crypto?

Some of you genuinely refuse to learn.

Man could announce a blockchain and rugpull it mid-speech.

Serious question...

Do you think ETH already peaked?

Or is this just its early-middle-midlife cycle confusion arc we are all experiencing right now?

Public companies have now bought more Bitcoin than ETFs for the 3rd quarter in a row.

Turns out suits want to go direct, too.

Slowly, the institutions are becoming... us.

Bitcoin is 16 years old, which means:

It is old enough to drive

Still too volatile to trust with your keys

Probably mining from your Wi-Fi

So many memes show crypto traders in a room with a mattress, two monitors, and no furniture.

Is this real? Blink twice if you’re okay.

Woke up feeling bullish.

Then checked the charts.

When you think about it, I’m always bullish. On emotional resilience!

Everyone says DYOR but no one explains how. So here’s a quick start:

1) Read.

2) Question everything.

3) Think against it.

4) Watch the coin go 10X without you.

5) Repeat.

Stablecoin... what about stable mood?

One’s pegged to the dollar. And the other is too!

Huh, what a coincidence.

If NFTs make a comeback this year, I’m bringing back my pixelated goblin collection.

We were early. We were misunderstood.

We were ugly on purpose! By design!!!

Not buying the dip isn’t a lack of funds. It’s a mindset.

You need to believe you can afford things you can’t....That’s how crypto works.

This is not financial advice.

Nothing says weekend like staring at red candles and pretending you don’t care...

Crypto is my toxic relationship. But I’m not ready to leave.

WAGMI is out.

New WAMGI = We Almost Gonna Make It.

Still good vibes, but now with a pinch of realism.

Altcoins be like:

Bitcoin pumps: meh, not enough

Bitcoin dumps: instant cardiac arrest

Bitcoin sideways: terminal boredom

Tried explaining liquidity pools to a Tinder match.

She unmatched.

But on-chain… I remain deeply committed.

Remember: Decentralized doesn’t mean drama-free.

It just means nobody can stop the mess! You're welcome.

At this point, my trades are performance art. I'm an two-way artist actually. My art on Fridays is liver damage...