Day 10.

TASK 2: News has become more popular and more influential in people's lives.
Why? Is this a positive or negative development?

It is true that news has become prevalent and increasingly impactful in the lives of people. I think the main reason of this is an easy access to the internet. In my view, it is a negative trend because an abundance of bad news online can desensitize people.

One primary reason for the popularity of news is the introduction of the internet. Since the worldwide web was introduced, the world has become connected to an unprecedented extent. Today, stories about almost any incident can spread all around the globe in seconds, which often makes people check their news feed on their smart devices constantly, searching to find something interesting to watch or read. This modern technology made nearly any sort of not only local, but also global information easily accessible to anyone with a smartphone. As a result, keeping up-to-date with the latest breaking news has become a necessary part of life for some people. 

It is a myriad of bad news that are on a trending list on the majority of websites that convinces me that this is not a positive shift. If you go on almost any broadcasting web page, you can see that devastating stories about natural disasters, crime and murder are mostly viewed. Moreover, these upsetting news tend to go viral on popular social platforms as well, such as Instagram and TikTok. Since such stories are encountered by millions of people on a daily basis, violence and sorrow can be seen as an ordinary part of our daily lives. Many people, consequently, are likely to become careless of others grief and may not help each other even when they clearly see that someone is in serious trouble.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that because of the internet, there is a growing public interest in news. Since negative news are usually offered by online platforms, I contend that this is a negative development as it is making people less sensitive about each other's misery.

So, I finished my 10-day challenge. It was difficult to write essays every single day. But I did it more or less regularly. Now, I wanna continue the challenge but without fining myself for missing a day. As totally unforeseen circumstances, which are more important than IELTS, might happen in life.

So far, I haven’t worked on quality much, I was just focused on quantity. My main goal was to get into the habit of writing regularly. Now, I wanna work on quality more and try to write higher level essays.

Btw, this time my challenge includes not watching “interesting” short videos on instagram and youtube as they have made my attention span shorter. I wanna improve my concentration and have a clear mind by consuming longer “boring” content.

Join my challenge and grow📈

Ok, as mentioned above, I've worked on the quality of my essays. Now, I think my essays are slightly better than previous ones.

Today, I wrote this essay and asked a band 9 holder to assess it. Until I receive my score, you can give an approximate score for it. 


Task 2: Some people think that violent films and video games have negative effects on people 
and should be banned. Others think that they are just relaxation sources. Discuss both sides and 
give your own opinion.

Due to their negative impact on people, violent games and movies ought to be banned according to some individuals, while others are sure that these are purely a form of recreation. Despite some drawbacks, such as the risk of developing aggression and addiction, I support the latter idea as these digital products can be a good source of stress relief and relaxation if consumed moderately. 

Undoubtedly, excessive consumption of violent films and games can damage our mental health. Some people believe that games, for example, tend to make gamers addicted by giving them happiness-related hormones, namely dopamine and adrenaline. Although they do not cause any harm per se, both of these hormones can have a negative effect on our brain when released excessively. People, especially young children, might need increasingly more of such hormone release to feel excited, which makes it almost impossible for them to imagine their lives without gaming. This addiction may lead to other mental problems, such as depression and anxiety, to name a few. Similarly, movies with scenes full of bloodshed and murder can desensitize viewers who, consequently, might become careless about others’ misery.

Others hold the view that none of the arguments above are valid enough to ban certain genres of filming and gaming industry altogether, however. 
Many people, after work or studies, dive into virtual reality, forgetting their real-life problems, which more often than not supports their mental stability as their anger could be directed at virtual characters in a game or a movie, not at real people around them. Because of a small minority with poor time-management skills, most people should not be deprived of their favourite stress-relief tools. Concerning youth influence, we should accept that it is a parental responsibility to bring up children with good moral values, not a governmental issue to solve with strict regulations. 

In spite of all of the downsides mentioned above, I am against banning any of such content since all must have a freedom of choice. As for the drawbacks, they can easily be mitigated by moderation and parental control. Parents can set computer or gaming console usage limits for their young children, who usually make up the majority of the gaming population. Action and horror movie lovers, for example, should simply avoid watching them for hours. Such a simple restriction and self-discipline can allow all gamers and movie fans to enjoy their favourite leisure activity. 

In conclusion, there are some drawbacks of violent video games and films, but they are not significant enough to censor such media. Because of those who lack time management and self-control skills, censorship regulations should not be introduced. People should retain the ability to choose freely what sort of content they want to watch or play.

So, the band nine holder I mentioned earlier gave this score for the essay:

Task Response: 8
Coherence cohesion: 8
Lexical resource: 8
Grammatical range and accuracy: 7

But, as always, ChatGPT is overestimating it a lot 😄
as you can see in the pic above👆

Don’t trust the score given by AI, but its feedback is great.

Another good piece of writing task 2.

Approximate score:
TR 8
CC 8
LR 8
GR 7 (probably because of range)


Many people think that the best way to learn a culture is to learn its language. To what extent do 
you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the best method to increase cultural awareness is through a language acquisition process. Despite understanding the logic behind this argument, such as receiving culture-related knowledge by consuming an increasing amount of content in the target language, I disagree with this view because living in a native speakers’ country is a far better approach to understand all the subtle elements of their lifestyles. 

Consuming an excessive amount of media online can definitely teach learners different cultural aspects of a foreign language. Language enthusiasts usually turn to media, whether it be films, YouTube videos or podcasts in the target language, to accelerate the learning process. If these potential bilinguals or multilinguals additionally watch historical documentaries, they can have an even better understanding of the heritage of their target nation. Discovery and National Geographic TV channels are good sources of such programs, for instance. Through this combined media consumption people can undoubtedly obtain a considerable amount of information about the customs and traditions of native speakers.

However, real-life experience abroad is incomparable to any sort of content consumption. A case in point is advanced-level candidates who are issued with C1 and C2 level certificates by international English language tests, namely IELTS and TOEFL. Although they have proficient language skills, they rarely comprehend all the cultural nuances of British people. This is because only by cultural immersion can those subtleties be grasped. Not only that, individuals can have a broader worldview about the socio-cultural fabric of the local population when they live among them. The procedure of enculturation can, therefore, be less time-consuming and more comprehensive.    

In conclusion, studying a language can be a good way of learning about a culture, as people acquire a lot of cultural information through the media. Yet, I do believe that spending several years among the residents of a certain country gives much more valuable and practical knowledge about the way they live.

This time I focused on grammatical range. You can see many advanced grammar structures here. But the TR is not that good.

Some people think that studying history is a waste of time while others think that it is essential to learn. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

People have different views about studying history: some individuals believe it to be useless, while others claim that it is crucial. Despite understanding the importance of learning from past mistakes, I support the former as this subject offers limited practical relevance.

There are two main reasons why some people advocate for learning history. One is learning from the errors of previous generations so that those wrongdoings are not repeated. Since many historical books are full of wars and violence caused by poor decisions of authorities of the middle ages, for instance, future generations can understand what not to do to avoid bloodshed and conflicts in the future. Another is gaining a deeper insight into the cultural heritage of a country. The fact that the way the citizens of different civilisations lived has been recorded - both in written and visual forms - since the dawn of humanity proves that it is mostly through historical books that people can imagine the lifestyles of their ancestors.

That said, the practical benefit of this discipline in ordinary people’s daily lives is limited. By memorizing an abundance of information about the past, they can rarely gain any financial benefits, with only historians making a living through their jobs at universities or schools. The amount of time allocated to acquiring outdated information is another issue. More often than not, reading simply a book is not enough to comprehend the whole picture about a single dynasty, for instance. To fully grasp the destiny of those historic figures, one might need to allocate countless years, if not decades. These arguments are likely to render this subject obsolete in modern-world education.

Having considered both sides of the matter, I hold the view that history should be studied by the ones who plan to pursue a profession in academia as a lecturer or tutor. Those enthusiasts can be sure that their time is not being wasted on an unnecessary subject, unlike students pursuing other career prospects, including medicine and engineering. Since history provides no employability value, the latter should not allot their precious time to that subject.

In conclusion, drawing lessons from the past and appreciating the struggles of previous generations are the arguments behind the claims about the importance of studying history. Yet, I do believe that an excessive amount of time spent on studying it and the lack of practicality of history in the general public’s life are far stronger counterarguments; thus, only future historians should learn this subject.

Two interesting phrases from reading passages I've done recently:

The jury is out on something - the decision about something has not been reached.
Ex: "The jury is still out on whether the new medicine will be effective."

Disposable income - the amount of money left after paying taxes
Ex: "the rents of tenants in work reached 21 per cent of disposable income"

It can be more challenging than you think...
Reading: Multiple choice.
Choose and prove your answer (again, it might not be what you first thought)


Text:
The curious hunting habit was first observed by a local fisherman who reported to marine biologists that he had seen a dolphin with an odd growth on its nose.

The Shark Bay fisherman mentioned in the passage
A. Provided an explanation for the dolphins’ hunting habits.
B. Made numerous observations of the dolphins in Shark Bay.
C. Notified the media about dolphins balancing sponges on their noses.
D. Thought the sponge was permanently attached to the dolphin’s nose.

The answer is NOT C. Biologists are not the media (journalists, tv reporters)

The answer is D. Odd growth (g'alati o'simta) is something that grows on the surface of animals' body.

YES, NO, NOT GIVEN?

Text: As far as the researchers can tell, a single dolphin may have invented the technique relatively recently and taught it to her offspring.

Question: Researchers believe that the use of sponges for hunting may have originated with one female dolphin's experimentation.

Explain why in the comments👇

The answer is Yes.

One female dolphin - a single dolphin, her

may have originated with one female dolphin's experimentation - invented

Task 2: There are more and more older workers working in companies. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages for a company?

Estimated score: 8

Today, increasingly more elderly people are employed by organisations. Despite the benefits of hiring experienced staff, namely the absence of need to train newly hired interns, I believe that the drawbacks of this trend - compromised efficiency of work flow and the risk of more unemployed young individuals - are more crucial.

The expertise of older employees is undoubtedly of great use for many businesses. Since they have been working for many years, they have already been equipped with both theoretical and practical knowledge, which is highly valued at almost any workplace. It is these enhanced skills that allow companies to save money and time on training procedures. This is the reason why many highly paid vacancies, such as accountants and graphic designers, are for candidates with several years, if not decades, of experience.

Having considered the upsides, the negative impact of this development on productivity cannot go unnoticed. It is no secret that the older people get, the slower their brains become. This is because cognitive functions tend to deteriorate with age; thus senior individuals are highly likely to operate far slower than their junior colleagues. As a result, a reduction in the overall workflow can be observed.

The increase in the number of unemployed youth is another concern. With most enterprises preferring to hire experienced staff, many young people have been failing to find a proper job. Many IT course graduates, for example, have been struggling with this issue for a few years because the organisations they apply to need only senior software developers. If those young adults had been given a chance to try and fulfil their potentials earlier, they would probably become experts in their fields and be working successfully for certain companies now.

In conclusion, although there are some advantages to hiring older generations, I hold the view that the negative effects of this trend on productivity and youth employment are more significant disadvantages to consider.

TASK 2: Young people who commit crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. Do you agree or disagree?

Approximate score: 7.5
Task achievement can be not enough to get an 8 as the essay does not have specific examples.
Grammar range is also not that wide to get 8.
You can still learn a thing or two by analyzing it.

Some people believe that governing bodies should treat youth crime as seriously as the offences committed by adults. I disagree with this view because of young people’s inability to fully understand the consequences of their actions and potential negative effects of such punishment on their future.

It is their immature brains that usually lead to reckless behavior in youngsters. With still-developing cognitive functions, young individuals tend to be in the process of learning right and wrong, unfortunately failing to differentiate them properly at times. The consequences of their actions, therefore, cannot always be fully understood by teenagers, which often leads to committing crimes. Were they to understand the possible negative results of their misbehavior, adolescents would reconsider their actions.

Another factor to consider is the young generation’s future. By applying strict deterrents such as many years of imprisonment, authorities can ruin the future of many minors. Since these individuals’ personalities are still being shaped, the longer the prison sentences are, the more aggressive they are prone to become in jail, a place with criminal environment. As a result, these people, who are full of aggression and hatred, can struggle to find a job after leaving jail because almost no employer wants to hire a candidate with a criminal record and such unappealing qualities.

In conclusion, I hold the view that young offenders should not be punished as severely as their older counterparts since they are still developing and usually do not have the same level of judgement and reasoning as adults. Their ruined future prospects, moreover, can be unintended consequences of such changes to the law.

Task 1.

The line graph compares how the rates of three various types of crime (burglary, car theft and robbery) changed over a period of nine years, from 2010 to 2019.

Overall, the most noticeable changes occurred in the figures for burglary and car theft, while it was robbery that experienced the least significant change. Interestingly, although burglary topped the list initially, car theft had become the most common offence by the end of the period.

In 2010, the number of incidents for burglary was ranked first with almost 3500 occasions, whereas car theft came a close second with approximately 2700 incidents. Meanwhile, the figure for robbery was nowhere near the other two criminal actions, representing just over 500 cases.

The patterns for burglary and car theft underwent significant shifts, however. Having risen to around 3700 criminal cases in 2011, the figure for burglary plummeted to 1000 after four years. It then climbed by 500 incidents and remained almost the same for the rest of the period. As for car theft, in 2013, the lowest point was marked just above 2000, a figure that had increased gradually to nearly 2700 by 2019.

In terms of robbery, the number of incidents stayed relatively stable at approximately 700 despite some fluctuations over the time frame.

211 words.
Approximate score 7.5

Before starting to work for a different organization, I used to post students' IELTS results quite often and I collected them on this channel @jkielts_results.

I kinda stopped posting such results since here I had to teach from general English to IELTS, not IELTS only. Now some of my very first groups here have taken their tests and received decent results. I guess it's time to post some results again... :)

#results
Very young and smart girl Malika🥳

First attempt: Overall 7.0🚀
Reading 8.0💣
Listening 7.5🔥
Speaking 6.5🤩
Writing 6.0👍