my coaches forbid me from having sex before my fight. they said i need to “build my batch.” What’s a batch?
Put quite simply, pent up ejaculate: my octane, if you will. Enough to sink a battleship. My friends know the power of my will, but they also know the power of my willy, so they supported me and kicked all the witches out.
My legs are strong and my balls is heavy. im ready for war this Saturday. Download the DAZN App & watch me yoss this mans 🥊
Put quite simply, pent up ejaculate: my octane, if you will. Enough to sink a battleship. My friends know the power of my will, but they also know the power of my willy, so they supported me and kicked all the witches out.
My legs are strong and my balls is heavy. im ready for war this Saturday. Download the DAZN App & watch me yoss this mans 🥊
This media is not supported in your browser
VIEW IN TELEGRAM
when people find out im not a douche in real life
MY NINE MOST IMPACTFUL MOMENTS OF 2019
1.) when i pulled my hamstring twice and started turning into thanos... then raged my face off in Ibiza for two weeks and made it 10x worse.
-
2.) the passing of a young legend. Kong Da Savage was kidnapped & eaten by a coyote. This was the last pic we ever took. He was so soft & so dumb & he’ll always hold a special spot in my heart. If you’re a coyote and you’re reading this, im coming for you 🏹
-
3.) adoption of a new legend, Broley Blue, the world’s greatest looking husky. I try to emanate this dog’s energy. He’s always happy, ready for adventure, and eager to please. My new best friend.
-
4.) when i slapped a man into the 8th dimension & realized i DIDNT want to fly to Russia and enter the International Russian Slapping Contest. May seem obvious but this was a big growth moment for me in realizing that Life > Content.
-
5.) When we trolled the entire world & infiltrated the flat earth community under the guise that I, Pogan Laul, believe the earth is flat. Don’t be f**king morons.
-
6.) the death of the most iconic bird in history: Maverick The Parrot. This little sun conure was my GUY since high school, before Vine. He was eaten by Ginger The Giant, who is currently at Bad Dog Camp. Maverick became a martyr as he continues to emblazon MaverickByLoganPaul apparel on people across the world.
-
7.) extending our family at the Watts Empowerment Center. We brought a Winter Wonderland to kids in California who have never seen snow. I love these hooligans.
-
8.) We’ve been saying it, but the world finally caught up... Impaulsive Show was awarded “Podcast of The Year” at the 2019 Streamys awards. Holy sh*t this show has changed my life & people’s perception of me.
-
9.) THE FIGHT... after becoming a professional boxer & three months of a grueling fight camp, I unfortunately came up short. Sort of. We sold out the Staples Center, made internet history AGAIN, & became one of the most successful boxing events on DAZN. I’ll likely have two fights next year, 1 MMA and 1 Boxing.
-
Final notes:
I didn’t suck that dick (sorry?)
Team Maverick is doing 2020 sober
2020 is the year of the girlfriend
Two points was bullsh*t
1.) when i pulled my hamstring twice and started turning into thanos... then raged my face off in Ibiza for two weeks and made it 10x worse.
-
2.) the passing of a young legend. Kong Da Savage was kidnapped & eaten by a coyote. This was the last pic we ever took. He was so soft & so dumb & he’ll always hold a special spot in my heart. If you’re a coyote and you’re reading this, im coming for you 🏹
-
3.) adoption of a new legend, Broley Blue, the world’s greatest looking husky. I try to emanate this dog’s energy. He’s always happy, ready for adventure, and eager to please. My new best friend.
-
4.) when i slapped a man into the 8th dimension & realized i DIDNT want to fly to Russia and enter the International Russian Slapping Contest. May seem obvious but this was a big growth moment for me in realizing that Life > Content.
-
5.) When we trolled the entire world & infiltrated the flat earth community under the guise that I, Pogan Laul, believe the earth is flat. Don’t be f**king morons.
-
6.) the death of the most iconic bird in history: Maverick The Parrot. This little sun conure was my GUY since high school, before Vine. He was eaten by Ginger The Giant, who is currently at Bad Dog Camp. Maverick became a martyr as he continues to emblazon MaverickByLoganPaul apparel on people across the world.
-
7.) extending our family at the Watts Empowerment Center. We brought a Winter Wonderland to kids in California who have never seen snow. I love these hooligans.
-
8.) We’ve been saying it, but the world finally caught up... Impaulsive Show was awarded “Podcast of The Year” at the 2019 Streamys awards. Holy sh*t this show has changed my life & people’s perception of me.
-
9.) THE FIGHT... after becoming a professional boxer & three months of a grueling fight camp, I unfortunately came up short. Sort of. We sold out the Staples Center, made internet history AGAIN, & became one of the most successful boxing events on DAZN. I’ll likely have two fights next year, 1 MMA and 1 Boxing.
-
Final notes:
I didn’t suck that dick (sorry?)
Team Maverick is doing 2020 sober
2020 is the year of the girlfriend
Two points was bullsh*t