Girlfriends are very abusive creatures. A thread 😒
When they're home they are insomniacs, expecting you to chat to them the whole time. When they come over they sleep like babies. HOW?
As a matter of fact, they nag you to put on their favourite movie, then fall asleep 10mins into the movie 😒
They come over, tell you the drama they go through with their girls, then fall asleep when u give then your piece.you are left outchea giving advice to a corpse
You go out for lunch. They order what they want. Trick YOU into order something THEY want. Now they got TWO of their fav meals in one date 😒
When y'all go out:
You: "babe its cold grab a jacket"
Her: "No babe I'm good don't stress"
Her an hour later: "Im cold 😩"
You: 😕😕😕😕😕😕😕😕😕😕😕😕
Nowyou have to give up ur jacket (WHICH YOU WILL NEVER GET BACK, BTW) and freeze your ass off like you didnt tell her to get a damn jacket before!
They invite you to a chillas with their friends then try make you befriend their girl's bf...WTF is this, a boyfriend play date??? 😕😕
They never get drunk when they are with the girls. But when you are around, they are Litmus Prime! Now you here playing bodyguard from Beijing 😒😒till you get home
You wake up first, you have to find something to do till she wakes up. She wakes up first, EVERYBODY has wake up!! 😒😒
In bed you are not her boyfriend.you are her personal heater for her cold ass hands & feet.WTF do you do all day anyway, carry ice blocks and ice skate barefoot for you to be this cold? 😨
You: "babe what should we order out for tonight's dinner?"
Her: "Anything babe"
You: "ok. Pizza"
Her: "Ugh I don't feel like pizza"
You: 😕😕😕😕😕(she said anything)
She says something that makes you mad.Then get mad @ you for being mad @ her.Now you are apologizing for being mad @ her because she's mad @ you for making you mad.......
I'm @ a stage I don't understand women...
When they're home they are insomniacs, expecting you to chat to them the whole time. When they come over they sleep like babies. HOW?
As a matter of fact, they nag you to put on their favourite movie, then fall asleep 10mins into the movie 😒
They come over, tell you the drama they go through with their girls, then fall asleep when u give then your piece.you are left outchea giving advice to a corpse
You go out for lunch. They order what they want. Trick YOU into order something THEY want. Now they got TWO of their fav meals in one date 😒
When y'all go out:
You: "babe its cold grab a jacket"
Her: "No babe I'm good don't stress"
Her an hour later: "Im cold 😩"
You: 😕😕😕😕😕😕😕😕😕😕😕😕
Nowyou have to give up ur jacket (WHICH YOU WILL NEVER GET BACK, BTW) and freeze your ass off like you didnt tell her to get a damn jacket before!
They invite you to a chillas with their friends then try make you befriend their girl's bf...WTF is this, a boyfriend play date??? 😕😕
They never get drunk when they are with the girls. But when you are around, they are Litmus Prime! Now you here playing bodyguard from Beijing 😒😒till you get home
You wake up first, you have to find something to do till she wakes up. She wakes up first, EVERYBODY has wake up!! 😒😒
In bed you are not her boyfriend.you are her personal heater for her cold ass hands & feet.WTF do you do all day anyway, carry ice blocks and ice skate barefoot for you to be this cold? 😨
You: "babe what should we order out for tonight's dinner?"
Her: "Anything babe"
You: "ok. Pizza"
Her: "Ugh I don't feel like pizza"
You: 😕😕😕😕😕(she said anything)
She says something that makes you mad.Then get mad @ you for being mad @ her.Now you are apologizing for being mad @ her because she's mad @ you for making you mad.......
I'm @ a stage I don't understand women...
So unknown number messaged me and deleted it, So I replied him/her and deleted it also... You think you're the only that's mad in this country😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈
👆👆Slayqueens will kill us. Her friends did not even tell her what's that.😂😂😂
I WILL NEVER EAT MUTURA AGAIN
Threaɗ Threaɗ!!😂😂😂😂
I had to spend thursday night in kikuyu town due to work related reasons. one thing I noted is that, there were hundreds of vibandas that sells mutura, ulimi, liver, chicken feet anything in a living animal was sold and eaten.....
Being a mutura enthusiasts, I visited a joint and bought one whole mutura that I ate on the spot as supper, ..
In the morning, I woke up early, took a shower and decided to take a bus to Nairobi....
The journey had started well. Suddenly, I was awoken by a rumbling tummy, my tummy. I immediately thought of the"fucking" mutura.
My tummy was rumbling repeatedly. Then I felt like farting (I know that farting is disgusting but I had no other alternative, for that I apologize)
I slightly raised one of my butt cheeks and released one long fart, slowly to avoid an avalanche of farts ssssssssssssssssssssssssss , next to me, on my left sat a pregnant woman, (a very pregnant, very very pregnant).
The bus went on
At this point, more farts lined up like billiard balls. I released one after the other,,,,,, I painfully held on the next fifteen farts.
Number 16 could not be contained, however much I tried. It came out forcefully, so I bent at an angle and released a long slushing one sssssssssssssss
sssssssssssssssssssssssss
the woman next to me, was awakened by the smell.
"hiyo ni sewage? nachukia harufu ya sewage Sana" she said
"pia mimi" I answered "
After like six minutes, I unleashed number 17. .. Number 17 smelt horrible, I gigged. The woman opened her eyes wide, tears filled her eyes
"kwani hii sewage inatufuata?" she shouted.
"ayaayayayayayayaa, fungua milango na dirisha" I shouted
"hiyo sio sewage, huyo ni mtu amenyamba" an old luhya man said "huyo lazima akuwe ameoza"
We continued but number 18 came,,, number 18s smell caught me off guard.
It smelt even horrible
,, a mixture of battery acid, rotten mutura, sewage and a dead cat all mixed up
"ngai, tena amenyamba?" nikajifanya that I was angry
Three minutes had not passed when someone else farted,, ni kama mashidano brathe,,
This time round, i admitted defeat. That fart brought tears into my eyes.
The pregnant woman was now crying, she couldn't breathe. I pitied her, but I couldn't hold my laughter when she shouted in a luo accent
"AKI NITAZAA JAMENI" as she tried to stand up
"KUNA DAKTARI HAPA KARIBU? HII YA MWISHO IMENUKA MBAYA ZAIDI"
I can even taste it....
TO BE CONTINUED
Threaɗ Threaɗ!!😂😂😂😂
I had to spend thursday night in kikuyu town due to work related reasons. one thing I noted is that, there were hundreds of vibandas that sells mutura, ulimi, liver, chicken feet anything in a living animal was sold and eaten.....
Being a mutura enthusiasts, I visited a joint and bought one whole mutura that I ate on the spot as supper, ..
In the morning, I woke up early, took a shower and decided to take a bus to Nairobi....
The journey had started well. Suddenly, I was awoken by a rumbling tummy, my tummy. I immediately thought of the"fucking" mutura.
My tummy was rumbling repeatedly. Then I felt like farting (I know that farting is disgusting but I had no other alternative, for that I apologize)
I slightly raised one of my butt cheeks and released one long fart, slowly to avoid an avalanche of farts ssssssssssssssssssssssssss , next to me, on my left sat a pregnant woman, (a very pregnant, very very pregnant).
The bus went on
At this point, more farts lined up like billiard balls. I released one after the other,,,,,, I painfully held on the next fifteen farts.
Number 16 could not be contained, however much I tried. It came out forcefully, so I bent at an angle and released a long slushing one sssssssssssssss
sssssssssssssssssssssssss
the woman next to me, was awakened by the smell.
"hiyo ni sewage? nachukia harufu ya sewage Sana" she said
"pia mimi" I answered "
After like six minutes, I unleashed number 17. .. Number 17 smelt horrible, I gigged. The woman opened her eyes wide, tears filled her eyes
"kwani hii sewage inatufuata?" she shouted.
"ayaayayayayayayaa, fungua milango na dirisha" I shouted
"hiyo sio sewage, huyo ni mtu amenyamba" an old luhya man said "huyo lazima akuwe ameoza"
We continued but number 18 came,,, number 18s smell caught me off guard.
It smelt even horrible
,, a mixture of battery acid, rotten mutura, sewage and a dead cat all mixed up
"ngai, tena amenyamba?" nikajifanya that I was angry
Three minutes had not passed when someone else farted,, ni kama mashidano brathe,,
This time round, i admitted defeat. That fart brought tears into my eyes.
The pregnant woman was now crying, she couldn't breathe. I pitied her, but I couldn't hold my laughter when she shouted in a luo accent
"AKI NITAZAA JAMENI" as she tried to stand up
"KUNA DAKTARI HAPA KARIBU? HII YA MWISHO IMENUKA MBAYA ZAIDI"
I can even taste it....
TO BE CONTINUED
Nimewai dhani dem ana enjoy world class strokes zangu kumbe ana faint katikati ya mechi nikikaribia climax. THREAD.
Kuna time nimewai alikwa house warming party ya dem flani hapo nilikuwa nimemjua for a while, but kufika venue nikapata the other invited guest walikuwa me, myself and I… yaani nlikua solo!
Dem akadai most of mabeshte zake walikuwa committed kwingine but walidai wata make it up to her so alikuwa ame cancel bash but akasahau kuniambia… Selective amnesia tunaelewa!
Anyway, hata wahenga walidai kiendacho kwa mganga hakirudi, dem alikuwa mganga coz kuna venye alikuwa ameniroga… so nikaona nikae kae kiasi nikipima weather ndio niende!
Mtoto alikuwa amekula rangi kama viatu zimepakwa Kiwi, black beauty lakini, ni Yule akipita sai, two minutes later bado kinyambis yake iko kwa line of vision coz imebaki nyuma kama boot ya Toyota NZE!
Convo ilikuwa weird coz nilimjua through beshte ya beshte yangu, in short, ni ile kujuana unajua mtu, mwenye anajua mtu, mwenye anajua mtu mwingine so inabaki mumejuana tu… connections my frends!
Alafu hatujawai interact more than twenty minutes, leo ndio ilikuwa first time but mostly tulikuwa tunasaidiwa na TV ku build conversation… dem akapika chai akaleta na cookies tukipiga story!
Kumuangalia akikula hizo snacks ilikuwa ka kuangalia snack moja ikikula snack ingine, mtoto alikuwa na dimples aki smile unaeza ficha ndani siri… nyonyo zilikuwa small and humble, huwezi pewa kila kitu!
Mansion yenyewe si ati huyo dem alikuwa amehamia hapo recently, alihamia kitambo but alikuwa amedai kufanya bash coz watu hufanya bash na yeye hakuwa amefanya… maisha ya ku copy paste!
So mans nilikuwa na plan vile ntajikata after chai coz kama hakuna bash sikuwa naona biz ya kuwa hapo, ilikuwa kitu 4:30 hapo… mtu akagonga mlango, ilikuwa caretaker wa hiyo ploti!
Si dem akatoka nje, ni kama kulikuwa na issue coz walikuwa wame gather hapo nje wengi, nikaona movie ikaisha, nikaona ingine ikafika katikati… huyo dem akanitext nisiboeke anakam, ako meeting!
So mans ikafika point butt cheeks zimechoka kukalia hiyo couch ya high density ikabidi ni feel at home niweke mguu juu ya ingine kama mwenye nyumba, akarudi hapo around 6:50 bana.
Akadai “Sorry, tumekuwa na brief meeting…” blah blah sitaki kusikia. Akadai if I don’t mind ananialika supper to make it up to me… mwenye alidai “the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach” hakukosea!
Si akaamua kupika supper ya watu wawili, but gas ikaishia njiani… hakuwa na stove, ilikuwa usiku so obvious mahali unaeza buy gas wamefunga so ikabidi tumewasha jiko.
Mtoto wa mtu alikuwa na bidii, imagine jiko inawasha jiko ingine, ndio jiko moja ipike ikitumia jiko ingine… Mshanipata? Yaani wife material alikuwa anawasha jiko!!!
Jiko kuwaka tukaseti ndani then mapishi yakaanza, ilikuwa nyama kwa menu so ni mate tu nilikuwa nameza juu ya tamaa, kwa tumbo minyoo zilikuwa zinacheza ODI dance juu ya njaa na expectations!
After nyama kuivaa nika offer kupika ugali like the gentleman I am, dem alikuwa zile za “Aaaaww you’re so sweet” kumbe aim yangu ni kupika ugali mob ndio supper isikuwe kama appetizer.
By the time tunamalizana supper ilikuwa late, kuwasha jiko na kupika nyama hadi ikuwe soft design hadi kibogoyo anaeza kula ilikuwa imechukuwa time yote, ilikuwa 9:40 already!
Na according to the constitution ukipatikana kwa wenyewe beyond 9:30 unafaa kulala huko, haina haja utembee kwa giza upigwe ngeta na unaeza lala mahali giza imekupata upigane ngeta ya mapenzi… nvm!
Akauliza “Si ni late, utaenda na hii giza?” nikajua hiyo ni invite ya sleep over, akadai naeza crush over, kuna kiti, kuna extra room, kuna room yake, chaguo ni langu… obvious mnajua mahali nilichagua… kiti!
Nani hawezi chagua kulalia kiti? mahali TV iko, mahali fridge iko, mahali mlango iko incase of emergency, but akadai siwezi lalia kiti kwa nyumba yake, that would be rude… reverse psychology ile!
Njaro ilikuwa ku chose the most uncomfortable sleeping venue ndio nionewe huruma ni upgrade hadi master bedroom kwa mwenye nyumba, hata Bible inasema humble yourself and you shall be uplifted.
Si t
Kuna time nimewai alikwa house warming party ya dem flani hapo nilikuwa nimemjua for a while, but kufika venue nikapata the other invited guest walikuwa me, myself and I… yaani nlikua solo!
Dem akadai most of mabeshte zake walikuwa committed kwingine but walidai wata make it up to her so alikuwa ame cancel bash but akasahau kuniambia… Selective amnesia tunaelewa!
Anyway, hata wahenga walidai kiendacho kwa mganga hakirudi, dem alikuwa mganga coz kuna venye alikuwa ameniroga… so nikaona nikae kae kiasi nikipima weather ndio niende!
Mtoto alikuwa amekula rangi kama viatu zimepakwa Kiwi, black beauty lakini, ni Yule akipita sai, two minutes later bado kinyambis yake iko kwa line of vision coz imebaki nyuma kama boot ya Toyota NZE!
Convo ilikuwa weird coz nilimjua through beshte ya beshte yangu, in short, ni ile kujuana unajua mtu, mwenye anajua mtu, mwenye anajua mtu mwingine so inabaki mumejuana tu… connections my frends!
Alafu hatujawai interact more than twenty minutes, leo ndio ilikuwa first time but mostly tulikuwa tunasaidiwa na TV ku build conversation… dem akapika chai akaleta na cookies tukipiga story!
Kumuangalia akikula hizo snacks ilikuwa ka kuangalia snack moja ikikula snack ingine, mtoto alikuwa na dimples aki smile unaeza ficha ndani siri… nyonyo zilikuwa small and humble, huwezi pewa kila kitu!
Mansion yenyewe si ati huyo dem alikuwa amehamia hapo recently, alihamia kitambo but alikuwa amedai kufanya bash coz watu hufanya bash na yeye hakuwa amefanya… maisha ya ku copy paste!
So mans nilikuwa na plan vile ntajikata after chai coz kama hakuna bash sikuwa naona biz ya kuwa hapo, ilikuwa kitu 4:30 hapo… mtu akagonga mlango, ilikuwa caretaker wa hiyo ploti!
Si dem akatoka nje, ni kama kulikuwa na issue coz walikuwa wame gather hapo nje wengi, nikaona movie ikaisha, nikaona ingine ikafika katikati… huyo dem akanitext nisiboeke anakam, ako meeting!
So mans ikafika point butt cheeks zimechoka kukalia hiyo couch ya high density ikabidi ni feel at home niweke mguu juu ya ingine kama mwenye nyumba, akarudi hapo around 6:50 bana.
Akadai “Sorry, tumekuwa na brief meeting…” blah blah sitaki kusikia. Akadai if I don’t mind ananialika supper to make it up to me… mwenye alidai “the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach” hakukosea!
Si akaamua kupika supper ya watu wawili, but gas ikaishia njiani… hakuwa na stove, ilikuwa usiku so obvious mahali unaeza buy gas wamefunga so ikabidi tumewasha jiko.
Mtoto wa mtu alikuwa na bidii, imagine jiko inawasha jiko ingine, ndio jiko moja ipike ikitumia jiko ingine… Mshanipata? Yaani wife material alikuwa anawasha jiko!!!
Jiko kuwaka tukaseti ndani then mapishi yakaanza, ilikuwa nyama kwa menu so ni mate tu nilikuwa nameza juu ya tamaa, kwa tumbo minyoo zilikuwa zinacheza ODI dance juu ya njaa na expectations!
After nyama kuivaa nika offer kupika ugali like the gentleman I am, dem alikuwa zile za “Aaaaww you’re so sweet” kumbe aim yangu ni kupika ugali mob ndio supper isikuwe kama appetizer.
By the time tunamalizana supper ilikuwa late, kuwasha jiko na kupika nyama hadi ikuwe soft design hadi kibogoyo anaeza kula ilikuwa imechukuwa time yote, ilikuwa 9:40 already!
Na according to the constitution ukipatikana kwa wenyewe beyond 9:30 unafaa kulala huko, haina haja utembee kwa giza upigwe ngeta na unaeza lala mahali giza imekupata upigane ngeta ya mapenzi… nvm!
Akauliza “Si ni late, utaenda na hii giza?” nikajua hiyo ni invite ya sleep over, akadai naeza crush over, kuna kiti, kuna extra room, kuna room yake, chaguo ni langu… obvious mnajua mahali nilichagua… kiti!
Nani hawezi chagua kulalia kiti? mahali TV iko, mahali fridge iko, mahali mlango iko incase of emergency, but akadai siwezi lalia kiti kwa nyumba yake, that would be rude… reverse psychology ile!
Njaro ilikuwa ku chose the most uncomfortable sleeping venue ndio nionewe huruma ni upgrade hadi master bedroom kwa mwenye nyumba, hata Bible inasema humble yourself and you shall be uplifted.
Si t
uka migrate kama wilderbeasts kutoka sitting room hadi bedroom, na huko nikishaingia “Wanajua ni mazishiiiii”
Then badala ya kuwasha candles kukuwe na romantic lighting akaleta jiko bedroom juu kulikuwa na baridi, so bedroom kulikuwa na jiko mbili, ile ya kuota na ile ya kuoa…
Mwenye nyumba akachukua ma positions kwa ukuta, mimi nikachukua position kando yake kama chumvi na pilipili kwa chopping board ya mutura.
Shida ya kulala mbali na ukuta ni, wewe ndio unafaa uende kuzima taa alafu uanze ku guess mahali kitanda iko tena… bedroom ikageuka Egypt vile kulikuwa na Giza.
Dem akageuka kulala akini face, breath yake warm ilikuwa inaleta mixed feelings, hakuna suspense ka uko bed na dem, kuna giza, na haujui utaanza aje kuomba conjugal rights!
But kwa hii life kila kitu ni kujaribu, nikasonga karibu then nikaweka mkono kwa kiuno just to see the reaction, dem aka respond na kusonga karibu kabisa and before I know it nilikuwa napewa mate!
Ilikuwa mouth to mouth kama victim wa ku drown, mwili yake ikageuka Wakanda coz her blek penty got stripped ewey… ilikuwa touch me I touch you, do me I do you, tiki taka kama mechi ya Barcelona!
Foreplay ilikuwa brief kama habari kwa ufupi then tukaenda kwa main agenda, kupiga mechi… alafu kama Sauti Sol, njaro ilikuwa ku make it short and sweet, hapo alipo akiniguza na feel thithi…!
Ikus ilikuwa tight kama budget ya bedsitter, ilikuwa ni lazima ni lubricate mjuols na Vaseline ndio ni slide to unlock kama simu ya touch screen yenye hujaweka pattern ama password!
Shida ni vile alikuwa anasonga songa, so ikabidi nimem’pin kama pinned tweet ndio aache kusonga songa, Submission maneuver inabidi ama mtasumbuana ukose kucheza mechi vile inafaa.
Dem akaacha ku moan akaanza kurusha rusha miguu, nikajua hapa nimepeana world class strokes yenye hajawai pewa… afterall kila nyani na starehe yake, wengine waki moan huyu maybe hurusha miguu!
Kidogo kidogo akageuka Omo multi purpose soap vile alianza kutoa povu kwa mdomo, raiya nikajua iko shida… ndio nilikuwa nimekaribia climax but kuona povu mjuols ika lose interest...
Mans nikadondoka juu ya dem mbio mbio, hapo ndio dem akaanza kujitupa tupa kama samaki imetolewa kwa maji… mans nikaanza kutetemeka sasa!
Nikaanza kuona news headlines zinaeza tokea kesho yake huyo dem akinyuria, KTN wanaeza kukuanika na “Mapenzi yageuka Mazishi” ama Twitter wadai “Dem aliangukiwa na MTI akakufa”…
Nikavaa boxer na short mbio mbio, then nikatoka mbio nikakumbuka dem pia ako uchi, nikarudi kujaribu kumvalisha panty but ilikuwa kama kualika msee wa SDA kula pork, alikuwa anatupa tupa miguu!
Nikatoka nje kuita jirani, uzuri nilipata jamaa flani na bibi yake wanasindikishana choo hiyo usiku, wakaamua kuja kuona ni nini mbaya…
Ku access situation huyo jama akasema nibebe dem nimpeleke nje apate fresh air, nikachangamka mbio, then akadai hata mimi ilikuwa imebaki kidogo nianze ku suffocate kama huyo dem.. ni jiko ilifanya! Akabeba jiko akatupa nje...
Dem akaamka twenty minutes later anajipata ako na shuka na ako nje, tukachangamka tukampea maziwa arudishe nguvu… mechi tuka postpone due to unfavorable conditions! Jiko si mwenzako!!!
Yaani karibu jiko auliwe na jiko mwenzake?!! Enyewe ukistaajabu ya Messi hujayaona ya Cristiano… unaeza kula ushibe uamue kulala uamke kesho yake upate ulidedi juu ulisahau kuzima jiko!!!
Then badala ya kuwasha candles kukuwe na romantic lighting akaleta jiko bedroom juu kulikuwa na baridi, so bedroom kulikuwa na jiko mbili, ile ya kuota na ile ya kuoa…
Mwenye nyumba akachukua ma positions kwa ukuta, mimi nikachukua position kando yake kama chumvi na pilipili kwa chopping board ya mutura.
Shida ya kulala mbali na ukuta ni, wewe ndio unafaa uende kuzima taa alafu uanze ku guess mahali kitanda iko tena… bedroom ikageuka Egypt vile kulikuwa na Giza.
Dem akageuka kulala akini face, breath yake warm ilikuwa inaleta mixed feelings, hakuna suspense ka uko bed na dem, kuna giza, na haujui utaanza aje kuomba conjugal rights!
But kwa hii life kila kitu ni kujaribu, nikasonga karibu then nikaweka mkono kwa kiuno just to see the reaction, dem aka respond na kusonga karibu kabisa and before I know it nilikuwa napewa mate!
Ilikuwa mouth to mouth kama victim wa ku drown, mwili yake ikageuka Wakanda coz her blek penty got stripped ewey… ilikuwa touch me I touch you, do me I do you, tiki taka kama mechi ya Barcelona!
Foreplay ilikuwa brief kama habari kwa ufupi then tukaenda kwa main agenda, kupiga mechi… alafu kama Sauti Sol, njaro ilikuwa ku make it short and sweet, hapo alipo akiniguza na feel thithi…!
Ikus ilikuwa tight kama budget ya bedsitter, ilikuwa ni lazima ni lubricate mjuols na Vaseline ndio ni slide to unlock kama simu ya touch screen yenye hujaweka pattern ama password!
Shida ni vile alikuwa anasonga songa, so ikabidi nimem’pin kama pinned tweet ndio aache kusonga songa, Submission maneuver inabidi ama mtasumbuana ukose kucheza mechi vile inafaa.
Dem akaacha ku moan akaanza kurusha rusha miguu, nikajua hapa nimepeana world class strokes yenye hajawai pewa… afterall kila nyani na starehe yake, wengine waki moan huyu maybe hurusha miguu!
Kidogo kidogo akageuka Omo multi purpose soap vile alianza kutoa povu kwa mdomo, raiya nikajua iko shida… ndio nilikuwa nimekaribia climax but kuona povu mjuols ika lose interest...
Mans nikadondoka juu ya dem mbio mbio, hapo ndio dem akaanza kujitupa tupa kama samaki imetolewa kwa maji… mans nikaanza kutetemeka sasa!
Nikaanza kuona news headlines zinaeza tokea kesho yake huyo dem akinyuria, KTN wanaeza kukuanika na “Mapenzi yageuka Mazishi” ama Twitter wadai “Dem aliangukiwa na MTI akakufa”…
Nikavaa boxer na short mbio mbio, then nikatoka mbio nikakumbuka dem pia ako uchi, nikarudi kujaribu kumvalisha panty but ilikuwa kama kualika msee wa SDA kula pork, alikuwa anatupa tupa miguu!
Nikatoka nje kuita jirani, uzuri nilipata jamaa flani na bibi yake wanasindikishana choo hiyo usiku, wakaamua kuja kuona ni nini mbaya…
Ku access situation huyo jama akasema nibebe dem nimpeleke nje apate fresh air, nikachangamka mbio, then akadai hata mimi ilikuwa imebaki kidogo nianze ku suffocate kama huyo dem.. ni jiko ilifanya! Akabeba jiko akatupa nje...
Dem akaamka twenty minutes later anajipata ako na shuka na ako nje, tukachangamka tukampea maziwa arudishe nguvu… mechi tuka postpone due to unfavorable conditions! Jiko si mwenzako!!!
Yaani karibu jiko auliwe na jiko mwenzake?!! Enyewe ukistaajabu ya Messi hujayaona ya Cristiano… unaeza kula ushibe uamue kulala uamke kesho yake upate ulidedi juu ulisahau kuzima jiko!!!
Ushai patwa ukiwa juu ya mechi kwa wera??
THREAD
Kuna time nlikua nadunga wera kwa supermarket flani Ngong Road nkiwa kama KYM(kada ya moko)
Ni gig nlitafutiangwa na mzae wangu coz walikua wanajuana na huyo boss lady na tulikua tunaenda church moja.
Hapo waks kulikuanga na mandranya wanne tulikua tunawork nao. I was the only dude.Na cashier alikuanga mtiaji like a MF...
Waks ilikuanga fiti ilikuanga ni jokes all through na hao mamghels. Walikua fine af.
Yengs mmoja akaanza kujoke ati vile atagawia mandem maremare..Boychild na yeye coz ya kiu nlikua nayo ya miezi,ikabidi nimechangamka like the fisi I am..
Bars kama candy. Kwa wera mtoto nlikua na muonyesha mapenzi kaa fwaken. Nlikua Alehandro wa hio yard..
Nikamchapia after works afike kwa hacienda tupike supper coz tulikua tunatolea wera at 8.30pm. Alikua ananipiga excuses ati mokoro wake atazua akichelewa..
Next day ikakua serious sasa. Boychild nikaget down with business. Mate pale kwa store asubuhi. Yengs nyonyo...weh! Weh! Weh! Brookside kando!
Figa alikua nayo sio kubahatisha. Kafupi hivi kazuri. Hio day alikua na mahanjam zingine yoh... Asubuhi coz hatukuangi busy ilikuanga idhaa yangu ya kupima sukari na mchele...
Akanichapia niende Cd's pale kwa chemist coz shit is going down today. Mimi huyo kama kemboi akiongoza race nikachangamkia majembe. Nikajihami coz mechi inaweza anza anytime...
Around 10am hivi akakam kwa store. Mate pap! Nikajua baaasss! Hapa firimbi singoji. Nikatoa toto urwaro teke huku nyonyo nkizishughulikia. Foreplay ilibidi tumekeep it short and sweet coz tuko wera bado..
Yengs akajiposition vizuri akachora saba ungedhani ni pornstar. Mans na mimi nlikua nmechonga mti kama mkuki ya Yego...
Strokes zikaanza. Galdem na yeye anabonga nasty asf!! Mechi ilikua ile ya Brazil na Germany🔥🔥
Mechi ikiwa halftime hivi,nikaanza kuskia wasee wakicheka but nika ignore coz nlikua najua hio idhaa ilikua safe...
Kelele ikaendelea sasa hapo nikajua customers wameanza kufika. Kidogo hivi nikasema nichungulie just to be safe. Kugeuka tu hivi nyuma,....
Nlioma boss lady,cashier, co-workers,wasee wa nduthi na butcher man wakinikondolea macho.
Shuma ilizima kama stima kukinyesha. Sema aibu manze...
Nikawithdraw my transaction,nikavaa toja na nkatoka unyoya. Na hivyo ndio nli-end up jobless na nikawacha kanisa coz huyo mathe alichomanga kwa famere na kwa church in general!!!
THREAD
Kuna time nlikua nadunga wera kwa supermarket flani Ngong Road nkiwa kama KYM(kada ya moko)
Ni gig nlitafutiangwa na mzae wangu coz walikua wanajuana na huyo boss lady na tulikua tunaenda church moja.
Hapo waks kulikuanga na mandranya wanne tulikua tunawork nao. I was the only dude.Na cashier alikuanga mtiaji like a MF...
Waks ilikuanga fiti ilikuanga ni jokes all through na hao mamghels. Walikua fine af.
Yengs mmoja akaanza kujoke ati vile atagawia mandem maremare..Boychild na yeye coz ya kiu nlikua nayo ya miezi,ikabidi nimechangamka like the fisi I am..
Bars kama candy. Kwa wera mtoto nlikua na muonyesha mapenzi kaa fwaken. Nlikua Alehandro wa hio yard..
Nikamchapia after works afike kwa hacienda tupike supper coz tulikua tunatolea wera at 8.30pm. Alikua ananipiga excuses ati mokoro wake atazua akichelewa..
Next day ikakua serious sasa. Boychild nikaget down with business. Mate pale kwa store asubuhi. Yengs nyonyo...weh! Weh! Weh! Brookside kando!
Figa alikua nayo sio kubahatisha. Kafupi hivi kazuri. Hio day alikua na mahanjam zingine yoh... Asubuhi coz hatukuangi busy ilikuanga idhaa yangu ya kupima sukari na mchele...
Akanichapia niende Cd's pale kwa chemist coz shit is going down today. Mimi huyo kama kemboi akiongoza race nikachangamkia majembe. Nikajihami coz mechi inaweza anza anytime...
Around 10am hivi akakam kwa store. Mate pap! Nikajua baaasss! Hapa firimbi singoji. Nikatoa toto urwaro teke huku nyonyo nkizishughulikia. Foreplay ilibidi tumekeep it short and sweet coz tuko wera bado..
Yengs akajiposition vizuri akachora saba ungedhani ni pornstar. Mans na mimi nlikua nmechonga mti kama mkuki ya Yego...
Strokes zikaanza. Galdem na yeye anabonga nasty asf!! Mechi ilikua ile ya Brazil na Germany🔥🔥
Mechi ikiwa halftime hivi,nikaanza kuskia wasee wakicheka but nika ignore coz nlikua najua hio idhaa ilikua safe...
Kelele ikaendelea sasa hapo nikajua customers wameanza kufika. Kidogo hivi nikasema nichungulie just to be safe. Kugeuka tu hivi nyuma,....
Nlioma boss lady,cashier, co-workers,wasee wa nduthi na butcher man wakinikondolea macho.
Shuma ilizima kama stima kukinyesha. Sema aibu manze...
Nikawithdraw my transaction,nikavaa toja na nkatoka unyoya. Na hivyo ndio nli-end up jobless na nikawacha kanisa coz huyo mathe alichomanga kwa famere na kwa church in general!!!
Kama kuna watu hufai kuchezea hii Kenya ni GSU, hiyo mraiya imewai fanya tukimbie kutoka Kabete hadi Kawangware usiku nikiwa colle.
Thread....
Kuna time nikiwa Kabete Technical kalinuka after school elections. Kuna boys alichaguliwa kama entertainment officer na hakua anatumbua hiyo works...
Tulikua tumefanya school elections huyo boy akashinda alafu Friday yake ya kwanza alifaa kuleta dunda ya ku celebrate elections winners...
Entertainment tulikuanga tunaletewa “DS International” coz walikua wanatuletea sound system ya 20,000 watts but huyo boys akadai analeta ngoma kali...
Friday ikafika mraiya tumekula vako kwa highway ya school administration tunangoja kuona ni ngoma gani kali inaletwa kuliko ile tumezoea...
6:30 tukacheki pick up ikiingia kwa gate na speakers mbili nyuma wasee wakaanza tu kucheka coz ngoma tumezoea inaletwanga na lorry...
Hiyo pick up tukai stop kwa njia tukaamua kuuliza dere anapeleka wapi hizo speaker? Akadai anapeleka dinning hall ati ni za dunda...
Yaani brejin alikuwa ametuletea ngoma ya Gacuiri gardens ya hapo Uthiru bana, speakers mbili tu na mixer msee… na mraiya hostels walikua na ngoma kali kuliko hiyo...
Wakauliza huyo dere kama kuna speaker zingine atarudia ama ni hizo mbili tu? Akadai ni hizo tu… sijui mawe zilitoka wapi...
Pick up ilikula mawe ya windshield ikabidi dere ame reverse mbio coz kulikua kunanyesha mvua ya mawe kwa pick up yake na si hail stones!...
Raiya walikuwa wamekula nare sasa, wakaanza kutafta huyo entertainment officer but alikuwa missing bana, chocha ikaanza kutembea ya ku strike...
Ikaanza ka jokes umati ikakusanyika mraiya tukafika kwa gate tukiitana, mraiya ika order wale security wa KKK security wafungue gate full...
Alafu mraiya tukamwagika waiyaki way sasa… kila mtu alikuwa amebeba matawi na mawe tukidai No Dunda No Peace!..
Chairman akajaribu kutuliza wasee warudi chuo but akanyamazishwa, wasee wakamsho bila kuona lorry imebeba speaker za ngoma hakuna vile tunarudi chuo...
We umewai ona vile madem huji prepare kuenda dunda alafu ikosekane, unadhani unaeza tuliza umati ka hiyo? 2 hours ya kujipaka make up, unadhani dem ka huyo anaeza kukusikia?...
Alafu boy child vile wanakuanga wamechungulia pub ku charge kichwa ndo wapate courage ya kuchafua dancefloor na kutoka na mdem wa wenyewe, unadhani kuna mtu anaweza agree kudos bila dunda?...
Mat flani ya Starbus flani ikajaribu kupita kimangoto ikakula mawe ya side mirror wasee wa kijiji wakajua ni kubaya, biashara zikafungwa...
Si gari zikapigishwa corner na mamawe hapo waiyaki way, kakatamba zaidi ya noma… makarao wa kabete police station wakamwagika route...
Hao mostly wanakuanga traffic police so mawe ziliwalemea wakarudi station, mraiya tukamwagika route tukafika hapo Wa Thiongo..
Wasee wa kijiji wakatokea mbele na mawe, so ilikuwa stude vs wasee wa kijiji… mawe zilikuwa zina come thru ka maombi za sunday...
Mraiya tukafika hadi mountain view tukiimba tuki block njia, kumbe wale sanse wa kabete walikua wamepigia AP wa Kangemi na GSU wa barracks ya Westy...
Lorry ikawamwaga hapo mbele ya mountain view, tukajua hapa ni rungu inataka kutembea… mans ilikuwa kila mtu kivyake ukirudi system...
Slay queen walikua wanakupita ka wameinua skirt hadi kwa kifua ndo wakimbie poa, mraiya inabidi ume cool down the pace kujionea...
Boys ulikuwa unazuba kwa panty na thighs thicker than Thika road unalamba chini mraiya wakizidi mbio wanakuacha...
Alafu wakale ndo walikuwa wa kwanza waki set the pace huko mbele, sisi wengine ni kujikaza ku keep up na pia ku avoid kupewa dent na rungu ya GSU...
Wasee walikuwa wanarudi ku maintain last line of defence huko system coz away game hatungewezana na GSU...
Hiyo day ndo nilijua kabete iko na watu type mbili, wale wa kupitia gate na wale wakupitia fence ndo wafike chuo haraka...
Ndani ya chuo tuka maintain kwa fence, walikua wanarusha teargas ma pro wanashikia juu wana return back to sender na bonus ya mawe...
Wakirusha tunarusha, waki shoot tunashuta… alafu tunatoka mbio mbikoz teargas huwa emotional coz zinakufanya ulie but bunduki huuwa....
Ilikuwa fun a
Thread....
Kuna time nikiwa Kabete Technical kalinuka after school elections. Kuna boys alichaguliwa kama entertainment officer na hakua anatumbua hiyo works...
Tulikua tumefanya school elections huyo boy akashinda alafu Friday yake ya kwanza alifaa kuleta dunda ya ku celebrate elections winners...
Entertainment tulikuanga tunaletewa “DS International” coz walikua wanatuletea sound system ya 20,000 watts but huyo boys akadai analeta ngoma kali...
Friday ikafika mraiya tumekula vako kwa highway ya school administration tunangoja kuona ni ngoma gani kali inaletwa kuliko ile tumezoea...
6:30 tukacheki pick up ikiingia kwa gate na speakers mbili nyuma wasee wakaanza tu kucheka coz ngoma tumezoea inaletwanga na lorry...
Hiyo pick up tukai stop kwa njia tukaamua kuuliza dere anapeleka wapi hizo speaker? Akadai anapeleka dinning hall ati ni za dunda...
Yaani brejin alikuwa ametuletea ngoma ya Gacuiri gardens ya hapo Uthiru bana, speakers mbili tu na mixer msee… na mraiya hostels walikua na ngoma kali kuliko hiyo...
Wakauliza huyo dere kama kuna speaker zingine atarudia ama ni hizo mbili tu? Akadai ni hizo tu… sijui mawe zilitoka wapi...
Pick up ilikula mawe ya windshield ikabidi dere ame reverse mbio coz kulikua kunanyesha mvua ya mawe kwa pick up yake na si hail stones!...
Raiya walikuwa wamekula nare sasa, wakaanza kutafta huyo entertainment officer but alikuwa missing bana, chocha ikaanza kutembea ya ku strike...
Ikaanza ka jokes umati ikakusanyika mraiya tukafika kwa gate tukiitana, mraiya ika order wale security wa KKK security wafungue gate full...
Alafu mraiya tukamwagika waiyaki way sasa… kila mtu alikuwa amebeba matawi na mawe tukidai No Dunda No Peace!..
Chairman akajaribu kutuliza wasee warudi chuo but akanyamazishwa, wasee wakamsho bila kuona lorry imebeba speaker za ngoma hakuna vile tunarudi chuo...
We umewai ona vile madem huji prepare kuenda dunda alafu ikosekane, unadhani unaeza tuliza umati ka hiyo? 2 hours ya kujipaka make up, unadhani dem ka huyo anaeza kukusikia?...
Alafu boy child vile wanakuanga wamechungulia pub ku charge kichwa ndo wapate courage ya kuchafua dancefloor na kutoka na mdem wa wenyewe, unadhani kuna mtu anaweza agree kudos bila dunda?...
Mat flani ya Starbus flani ikajaribu kupita kimangoto ikakula mawe ya side mirror wasee wa kijiji wakajua ni kubaya, biashara zikafungwa...
Si gari zikapigishwa corner na mamawe hapo waiyaki way, kakatamba zaidi ya noma… makarao wa kabete police station wakamwagika route...
Hao mostly wanakuanga traffic police so mawe ziliwalemea wakarudi station, mraiya tukamwagika route tukafika hapo Wa Thiongo..
Wasee wa kijiji wakatokea mbele na mawe, so ilikuwa stude vs wasee wa kijiji… mawe zilikuwa zina come thru ka maombi za sunday...
Mraiya tukafika hadi mountain view tukiimba tuki block njia, kumbe wale sanse wa kabete walikua wamepigia AP wa Kangemi na GSU wa barracks ya Westy...
Lorry ikawamwaga hapo mbele ya mountain view, tukajua hapa ni rungu inataka kutembea… mans ilikuwa kila mtu kivyake ukirudi system...
Slay queen walikua wanakupita ka wameinua skirt hadi kwa kifua ndo wakimbie poa, mraiya inabidi ume cool down the pace kujionea...
Boys ulikuwa unazuba kwa panty na thighs thicker than Thika road unalamba chini mraiya wakizidi mbio wanakuacha...
Alafu wakale ndo walikuwa wa kwanza waki set the pace huko mbele, sisi wengine ni kujikaza ku keep up na pia ku avoid kupewa dent na rungu ya GSU...
Wasee walikuwa wanarudi ku maintain last line of defence huko system coz away game hatungewezana na GSU...
Hiyo day ndo nilijua kabete iko na watu type mbili, wale wa kupitia gate na wale wakupitia fence ndo wafike chuo haraka...
Ndani ya chuo tuka maintain kwa fence, walikua wanarusha teargas ma pro wanashikia juu wana return back to sender na bonus ya mawe...
Wakirusha tunarusha, waki shoot tunashuta… alafu tunatoka mbio mbikoz teargas huwa emotional coz zinakufanya ulie but bunduki huuwa....
Ilikuwa fun a
nd games hadi vile GSU waliingia compound ya chuo, rungu ilitembezwa ka fwacken, ikabidi mraiya ni kuingia cube na kujificha...
Kumbe GSU si wajinga, walifika hostel wakasimama kwa entrance ya exit ya hostel then wakatupa teargas kwa hall way...
Ulikuwa unatoka cube umechanganyikiwa kama kuku umekatwa kichwa unakutana na rungu kwa entrance ukiingia magizani ukilia bana...
Mi nlichangamkiwa rungu kama thate nikaingia kwa maindi karibu na lecturers quarter nika maintain, kumbe kulikuwa na pengtings wamejificha hapo pia...
Alafu madem huwaga waoga, kuna karao alikuja hapo karibu na maindi aka shoot blank bullets juu.. madem wakapiga nduru bana...
Ikabidi mans nime abandon hiding place na kutoka sieke… hiyo getha unakimbia but hutambui unaenda wapi, bora ni mbele na mbali na GSU...
Alafu fresha ni fresha tu, mans walikuwa wanakimbia na briefcase zao nikama shule imeisha, wengine tukiokoa maisha hao wanaokoa manguo...
Love birds ulikuwa unaskia wakikol ma brejin ati, “Beb uko wapi?” boys walikua wanahepa wanasahau madem zao nyuma...
Lecturer walikuwa na shida, madem walikua kwa milango zao wakitafta place ya kujificha juu GSU walikuwa wanafukuza watu kutoka hostels...
Hiyo siku nikaona nifuate tu umati, kidogo kidogo tuko back entrance ya chuo, gate flani huwa tunatumia tukienda Uthiru...
Alafu shida ni uki tense ama ukiwa na uoga huwa mnafuatana kama kondoo, so sisi tulikuwa tunafuata msee ako mbele...
Alafu kama kawaida tulikuwa tunajua “The man infront of you is always a Kalenjin” hao wasee wanaeza kimbia enyewe...
Tulifika ile round about ya kuenda either Uthiru, Ndumbu-ini ama Kawangware… ikabidi tufikirie haraka ni route gani tutakula vector...
Tukajua tukienda Uthiru itabidi tumezidi hadi Kikuyu… alafu juu ni wakale wana set the pace kidogo kidogo tungejipata Busia tukivuka boarder. Tukachorea hiyo route...
Na tungeshika ile route ya kuingia Ndumbu-ini ingebidi tufike Nairobi University ile branch ya agriculture, hao huwaga arch enemies… wangeturudisha mahali tumetoka na mawe...
So Mraiya wakachukua ile route ya kawangware, sisi hao teke teke magizani coz bado GSU walikuwa wana shoot juu wakitufukuza na rungu...
Shida haikuwa distance ya kufika kawangware, shida ilikuwa uoga, ulikuwa unafuata ule msee ako mbele anahepa akidhani wee ni GSU...
Pia we unahepa juu haujui ni nani ako nyuma yako anakufuata, mans tulikuja kutulia ongwaro vile tulifika kwa street lights tukangundua sisi ni ma stude bana...
Wasee wengine hawakua na slippers ni mguu tupu, mostly madem.. mans ilikuwa ka cross country...
Wasee wako na ma relatives kawangware (Mostly WaLuyha ) waliponea the rest tukajikunja kwa kiosk za soko kukesha hadi morning...
Usiku mzima mbu zilikuwa zinatuangushia “Hakuna Kulala” riddim msee… ilikuwa blood sucking festival kwao kwa hizo kiosk...
Morning ulikuwa unakutana na madem wakitoka chuom huwezi fikiria, most walikuwa mguu tupu… alafu suit cases za ma fresha pia tulikutana nazo kwa chuom...
Next day tulipewa 15 minutes ku clear school compound… unapewa hadi police escort kwa choo ukienda kupunguza uzani msee....
Umati hupatia mtu false sense of importance, hii dunia inataka mtu anaeza fikiria solo na ana make decisions zake mwenyewe.. otherwise ukifuata umati we na kondoo hakuna tofauti.................the end!
Kumbe GSU si wajinga, walifika hostel wakasimama kwa entrance ya exit ya hostel then wakatupa teargas kwa hall way...
Ulikuwa unatoka cube umechanganyikiwa kama kuku umekatwa kichwa unakutana na rungu kwa entrance ukiingia magizani ukilia bana...
Mi nlichangamkiwa rungu kama thate nikaingia kwa maindi karibu na lecturers quarter nika maintain, kumbe kulikuwa na pengtings wamejificha hapo pia...
Alafu madem huwaga waoga, kuna karao alikuja hapo karibu na maindi aka shoot blank bullets juu.. madem wakapiga nduru bana...
Ikabidi mans nime abandon hiding place na kutoka sieke… hiyo getha unakimbia but hutambui unaenda wapi, bora ni mbele na mbali na GSU...
Alafu fresha ni fresha tu, mans walikuwa wanakimbia na briefcase zao nikama shule imeisha, wengine tukiokoa maisha hao wanaokoa manguo...
Love birds ulikuwa unaskia wakikol ma brejin ati, “Beb uko wapi?” boys walikua wanahepa wanasahau madem zao nyuma...
Lecturer walikuwa na shida, madem walikua kwa milango zao wakitafta place ya kujificha juu GSU walikuwa wanafukuza watu kutoka hostels...
Hiyo siku nikaona nifuate tu umati, kidogo kidogo tuko back entrance ya chuo, gate flani huwa tunatumia tukienda Uthiru...
Alafu shida ni uki tense ama ukiwa na uoga huwa mnafuatana kama kondoo, so sisi tulikuwa tunafuata msee ako mbele...
Alafu kama kawaida tulikuwa tunajua “The man infront of you is always a Kalenjin” hao wasee wanaeza kimbia enyewe...
Tulifika ile round about ya kuenda either Uthiru, Ndumbu-ini ama Kawangware… ikabidi tufikirie haraka ni route gani tutakula vector...
Tukajua tukienda Uthiru itabidi tumezidi hadi Kikuyu… alafu juu ni wakale wana set the pace kidogo kidogo tungejipata Busia tukivuka boarder. Tukachorea hiyo route...
Na tungeshika ile route ya kuingia Ndumbu-ini ingebidi tufike Nairobi University ile branch ya agriculture, hao huwaga arch enemies… wangeturudisha mahali tumetoka na mawe...
So Mraiya wakachukua ile route ya kawangware, sisi hao teke teke magizani coz bado GSU walikuwa wana shoot juu wakitufukuza na rungu...
Shida haikuwa distance ya kufika kawangware, shida ilikuwa uoga, ulikuwa unafuata ule msee ako mbele anahepa akidhani wee ni GSU...
Pia we unahepa juu haujui ni nani ako nyuma yako anakufuata, mans tulikuja kutulia ongwaro vile tulifika kwa street lights tukangundua sisi ni ma stude bana...
Wasee wengine hawakua na slippers ni mguu tupu, mostly madem.. mans ilikuwa ka cross country...
Wasee wako na ma relatives kawangware (Mostly WaLuyha ) waliponea the rest tukajikunja kwa kiosk za soko kukesha hadi morning...
Usiku mzima mbu zilikuwa zinatuangushia “Hakuna Kulala” riddim msee… ilikuwa blood sucking festival kwao kwa hizo kiosk...
Morning ulikuwa unakutana na madem wakitoka chuom huwezi fikiria, most walikuwa mguu tupu… alafu suit cases za ma fresha pia tulikutana nazo kwa chuom...
Next day tulipewa 15 minutes ku clear school compound… unapewa hadi police escort kwa choo ukienda kupunguza uzani msee....
Umati hupatia mtu false sense of importance, hii dunia inataka mtu anaeza fikiria solo na ana make decisions zake mwenyewe.. otherwise ukifuata umati we na kondoo hakuna tofauti.................the end!
Unanyandua dem ukidhani ni yeye anafaa ku worry utampea ball alafu ni yeye anakupea kisonono. THREAD.
Kuna time kulikuwa na matanga kwa jirani, kuna mtoi wa jirani alikuwa amepea dunia kizogo… ikafika saa mbili usiku kama giza imefunika dunia blanketi tukaamua kufika venue kuomboleza.
Mimi na ma arif tukaamua kufika kuonyesha support but mostly juu kulikuwa na disco matanga… dunda ya matanga hushika juu madem hukaziwa kufika bash hu turn up wakiwa na excuse ya matanga.
Ilikuwa kitu 9:30 usiku na hakuna vile unaeza lala na hiyo kelele ya ngoma kwa boma next, so ilibidi tume turn up kama madem wa Nairobi wakiskia kuna free drinks na food pia kwa bash.
Matanga ilikuwa ime chrome kama concert ya reggae, kila mtu alikuwa nyuma ya mwingine kama rais na bodyguard wake… ilikuwa bumper to bumper kama jam ya Mombasa road kukiwa na rush hour!
Njaro ilikuwa ku park nyuma ya kinyambis ya dem coz walikuwa wengi, marehemu alikuwa kijana amejulikana so most definitely vijana walikuwa wamekuja ku pay last respects zao.
Ngoma ilikuwa aina mbili, ile ya radio na ile ya drums, zote zilikuwa na wafuasi bado… by kitu 10 hapo, dance ilikuwa imeshika mashinani design ya Odi dance ungedhani ni bash ya kawaida na si matanga.
Nilikuwa bado na dance nikisaka kinyambis naeza park nyuma yake ni dance nayo, place ilikuwa inanuka ile jasho ya kuto oga siku kadhaa, haikuwa ile jasho ya mtu amefanya kazi!!! In short idlers na jobless corner ndio walikuwa wengi hiyo matanga.
Kitu 10:30 hapo nika spot mtoto yello yello kama rangi ya wakamba, mtoto yello yello kama maindi ya katumani, kuna fala alikuwa ame park nyuma yake but nikajua huyo lazma nipite na yeye.
Si nikaenda ku dance kando yao kama substitute akifanya warm up akiwa na hopes player mmoja wa starting eleven anaeza pata injury apate chance ya kucheza… cha muhimu ilikuwa kujituma!
Mtoto alikuwa ameni spot aka smile nika smile back, nikaona kama ule msee ana dance nyuma yake ni kama haonyeshi dalili za kumuwacha anytime soon, nikaamua ku dance mbele ya dem.
Dem alikuwa sandwiched katikati kama kachumbari, chumvi na hot sauce kwa smokie pasua, alikuwa kama Blueband katikati ya slices mbili za mkate.
But wahenga walinena “The car infront of you is always a Toyota”, dem akabambika vile nilikuwa namsugua hapo mbele akachunja huyo boy alikuwa nyuma… alijua fahari wawili wakipigana, nyasi ndio huumia… ni yeye alikuwa anaumia hapo katikati.
Si tuka dance tukihepa hepa watu tukikaribia light, dem alikuwa ameivaa kama chakula ya kibanda, mtoto lightskin kama sweet banana, alikuwa ana glow kwa giza, mimi nikiwa kando yake ilikuwa kama contrast ya usiku na mchana.
Kitu 11;30 hapo tulikuwa tumechoka, tukasonga mbali na crowd kiasi kupumzika, hapo ndio tukapata chance ya kuulizana maswali, akadai amechoka anaskia tu kuenda kulala but home kwao ni mbali..........
Kuna time kulikuwa na matanga kwa jirani, kuna mtoi wa jirani alikuwa amepea dunia kizogo… ikafika saa mbili usiku kama giza imefunika dunia blanketi tukaamua kufika venue kuomboleza.
Mimi na ma arif tukaamua kufika kuonyesha support but mostly juu kulikuwa na disco matanga… dunda ya matanga hushika juu madem hukaziwa kufika bash hu turn up wakiwa na excuse ya matanga.
Ilikuwa kitu 9:30 usiku na hakuna vile unaeza lala na hiyo kelele ya ngoma kwa boma next, so ilibidi tume turn up kama madem wa Nairobi wakiskia kuna free drinks na food pia kwa bash.
Matanga ilikuwa ime chrome kama concert ya reggae, kila mtu alikuwa nyuma ya mwingine kama rais na bodyguard wake… ilikuwa bumper to bumper kama jam ya Mombasa road kukiwa na rush hour!
Njaro ilikuwa ku park nyuma ya kinyambis ya dem coz walikuwa wengi, marehemu alikuwa kijana amejulikana so most definitely vijana walikuwa wamekuja ku pay last respects zao.
Ngoma ilikuwa aina mbili, ile ya radio na ile ya drums, zote zilikuwa na wafuasi bado… by kitu 10 hapo, dance ilikuwa imeshika mashinani design ya Odi dance ungedhani ni bash ya kawaida na si matanga.
Nilikuwa bado na dance nikisaka kinyambis naeza park nyuma yake ni dance nayo, place ilikuwa inanuka ile jasho ya kuto oga siku kadhaa, haikuwa ile jasho ya mtu amefanya kazi!!! In short idlers na jobless corner ndio walikuwa wengi hiyo matanga.
Kitu 10:30 hapo nika spot mtoto yello yello kama rangi ya wakamba, mtoto yello yello kama maindi ya katumani, kuna fala alikuwa ame park nyuma yake but nikajua huyo lazma nipite na yeye.
Si nikaenda ku dance kando yao kama substitute akifanya warm up akiwa na hopes player mmoja wa starting eleven anaeza pata injury apate chance ya kucheza… cha muhimu ilikuwa kujituma!
Mtoto alikuwa ameni spot aka smile nika smile back, nikaona kama ule msee ana dance nyuma yake ni kama haonyeshi dalili za kumuwacha anytime soon, nikaamua ku dance mbele ya dem.
Dem alikuwa sandwiched katikati kama kachumbari, chumvi na hot sauce kwa smokie pasua, alikuwa kama Blueband katikati ya slices mbili za mkate.
But wahenga walinena “The car infront of you is always a Toyota”, dem akabambika vile nilikuwa namsugua hapo mbele akachunja huyo boy alikuwa nyuma… alijua fahari wawili wakipigana, nyasi ndio huumia… ni yeye alikuwa anaumia hapo katikati.
Si tuka dance tukihepa hepa watu tukikaribia light, dem alikuwa ameivaa kama chakula ya kibanda, mtoto lightskin kama sweet banana, alikuwa ana glow kwa giza, mimi nikiwa kando yake ilikuwa kama contrast ya usiku na mchana.
Kitu 11;30 hapo tulikuwa tumechoka, tukasonga mbali na crowd kiasi kupumzika, hapo ndio tukapata chance ya kuulizana maswali, akadai amechoka anaskia tu kuenda kulala but home kwao ni mbali..........
Ideally, Based on my intellectual capacity and my vast knowledge, tactically,and tentatively right from the beginning of times especially in the light of Ecclesiastes evolution.I have come to a concrete, definite and profound conclusion that I actually have nothing to say.. Thank You!!!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃