Women should always respect their husbands, no matter what mood he is in. Not violence, but if he is angry or stressed about something, she should act like a sensible person & try to calm him down.
Men tolerate women’s moods & tantrums all the time, so why can’t wives do the same
Men tolerate women’s moods & tantrums all the time, so why can’t wives do the same
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Ibn al-Jawzi رحمه الله said:
"A woman is a delicate vessel; her moods and states change with time. Whoever bears this with patience possesses true intellect."
📚 Sayd al-Khatir
"A woman is a delicate vessel; her moods and states change with time. Whoever bears this with patience possesses true intellect."
📚 Sayd al-Khatir
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Some Husbands Who Dishonor Their Wives
The husband seeks from his wife that
she should be an ideal wife: affectionate, kind, receptive, obedient to his command, attractive, enticing, charming and other than that. However, some husbands dishonor their wives and neglect the obligatory rights upon them as it pertains to them.
Yes, there are rights belonging to the husband that are binding upon the wife to uphold, but where are the wife's rights that are binding upon the husband?
[Book: A Message Exclusively to the Husbands By Shaykh Abū Furayhān Jamāl Ibn Furayhān al-Hārithī, p. 7 |
Translated by Anwar Wright and Isa Underdue | Hikmah Publications]
The husband seeks from his wife that
she should be an ideal wife: affectionate, kind, receptive, obedient to his command, attractive, enticing, charming and other than that. However, some husbands dishonor their wives and neglect the obligatory rights upon them as it pertains to them.
Yes, there are rights belonging to the husband that are binding upon the wife to uphold, but where are the wife's rights that are binding upon the husband?
[Book: A Message Exclusively to the Husbands By Shaykh Abū Furayhān Jamāl Ibn Furayhān al-Hārithī, p. 7 |
Translated by Anwar Wright and Isa Underdue | Hikmah Publications]
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“Be especially cautious of pages that constantly romanticize marriage, post couple content, or emotionally manipulate followers with "Islamic" quotes about relationships.
These are often traps.
Social media is not the place to seek marriage or express personal desires. If you wish to get married, involve your family and follow proper, halal channels.
Protect your dignity.
Stay alert.”
©️✍🏻
These are often traps.
Social media is not the place to seek marriage or express personal desires. If you wish to get married, involve your family and follow proper, halal channels.
Protect your dignity.
Stay alert.”
©️✍🏻
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In a time where everything is instant, many expect marriage to be the same, instant connection, instant happiness, instant perfection. But that is not the reality.
We are living in an age where divorce rates are rising, patience is decreasing, and expectations are higher than ever. Studies suggest that nearly half of marriages struggle to survive long-term, and one of the key reasons is unrealistic expectations shaped by social media and society.
My beloved brothers and sisters, marriage in Islam was never designed to be perfect—it was designed to be purposeful. Allah speaks of tranquility, mercy, and love. These are not الأشياء that simply appear overnight; they are built with sacrifice, understanding, and خوف الله (consciousness of Allah).
Do not enter marriage thinking, “What can I take?” Enter it asking, “What can I give?”
Choose someone for their deen, their character, their sincerity. Beauty fades, wealth fluctuates—but good character and taqwa will carry you through the storms of life.
And remember: a successful marriage is not one without problems, but one where both are committed to solving them for the sake of Allah.
May Allah grant us marriages filled with barakah, patience, and lasting love.
We are living in an age where divorce rates are rising, patience is decreasing, and expectations are higher than ever. Studies suggest that nearly half of marriages struggle to survive long-term, and one of the key reasons is unrealistic expectations shaped by social media and society.
My beloved brothers and sisters, marriage in Islam was never designed to be perfect—it was designed to be purposeful. Allah speaks of tranquility, mercy, and love. These are not الأشياء that simply appear overnight; they are built with sacrifice, understanding, and خوف الله (consciousness of Allah).
Do not enter marriage thinking, “What can I take?” Enter it asking, “What can I give?”
Choose someone for their deen, their character, their sincerity. Beauty fades, wealth fluctuates—but good character and taqwa will carry you through the storms of life.
And remember: a successful marriage is not one without problems, but one where both are committed to solving them for the sake of Allah.
May Allah grant us marriages filled with barakah, patience, and lasting love.
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|| And among His Signs is this, that He created you (Adam) from dust, and then [Hawwâ (Eve) from Adam's rib, and then his offspring from the semen, and] - behold you are human beings scattered!
And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy
Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect,
Among His signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colors.
Verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge.
And among His Signs is your sleep by night and by day, and you're seeking His Bounty.
Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who listen.
And among His Signs is that He shows you the lightning, for fear and for hope, and He sends down water (rain) from the sky, and therewith revives the earth after its death.
Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who understand,.
Among His signs is that the heaven and the earth stand by His Command. Then afterwards, when He will call you by a single call, behold, you will come out from the earth (i.e.from your graves for reckoning and recompense).
To Him belongs whatever is in the heavens and the earth. All are obedient to Him.
Sûrah Ar-Rûm [30:20-26]
And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy
Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect,
Among His signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colors.
Verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge.
And among His Signs is your sleep by night and by day, and you're seeking His Bounty.
Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who listen.
And among His Signs is that He shows you the lightning, for fear and for hope, and He sends down water (rain) from the sky, and therewith revives the earth after its death.
Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who understand,.
Among His signs is that the heaven and the earth stand by His Command. Then afterwards, when He will call you by a single call, behold, you will come out from the earth (i.e.from your graves for reckoning and recompense).
To Him belongs whatever is in the heavens and the earth. All are obedient to Him.
Sûrah Ar-Rûm [30:20-26]
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Compatibility Between Souls
Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) in which he explains the motives and causes of love, and how these vary among people.
He (may Allaah have mercy on him) says:
“Compatibility between souls is one of the strongest causes of love. Every person is attracted towards that which is compatible with him, and this compatibility is of two types:
original compatibility which is ingrained in the essence and that which comes later because of living together or having something in common.
If your aims match his aims, there will be harmony between your soul and his, but if the aims are different, then harmony will no longer exist.
As for original compatibility, it is a kind of similarity in attitude and similarity of souls. Each soul longs for other souls that are similar to it, because what is similar to something is naturally attracted to it, so the two souls may be similar in original creation, thus there will be a natural attraction to one another.
This is what made some people say that love is not only caused by physical beauty, and the lack of physical beauty does not mean that there can be no love; rather it is similarity between souls and similarity in their characteristics which are created in them that matter.
The reality of love is that it is like a mirror in which the lover sees his characteristics and kindness in the image of the one he loves, so in reality he loves nothing but himself and his characteristics and the one who has similar characteristics.
Hence noble, pure and sublime souls love the characteristics of perfection in particular, so the dearest things to them are knowledge, bravery, dignity, generosity, kindness, patience and steadfastness, because these characteristics are compatible with the essence of these souls, unlike base and mean souls, which are far away from loving these characteristics. Many people are motivated to be generous and kind because of their extreme love for these characteristics and the pleasure they find in doing these things, to such an extent that al-Ma’moon said:
Forgiveness was made so dear to me that I am afraid that I will not be rewarded for it.
And it was said to Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allaah have mercy on him):
Did you acquire this knowledge for the sake of Allaah? He said: To do something for the sake of Allaah is very rare, but it was something made dear to me, so I did it.
Someone else said: I rejoice in giving and enjoy it far more than the one who takes from me rejoices in what he takes.
With regard to the lovers of knowledge, their love for knowledge is greater than the love of anyone else or anything else. Many of them will not be distracted from it by the most beautiful of human images.
Our Shaykh – meaning Ibn Taymiyah – told me:
“I felt sick and the doctor said to me: Your reading and discussing issues of knowledge is making your sickness worse. I said to him: I cannot stay away from that, and I shall discuss the issue on the basis of your (medical) knowledge. Is it not the case that when the soul feels joy, this gives strength to the body and wards off disease? He said yes. I said:
Then my soul feels happy with knowledge and thus my body becomes stronger and this helps me to recover. He said: This is not part of our treatment, or words to that effect.”
If the love relationship is based on similarity and harmony, then it will be reinforced and become stronger, and nothing could remove it except something stronger than the cause of it, and if it is not based on similarity and harmony, then it is no more than love for a reason, which will disappear when the reason disappears.
Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allaah have mercy on him) narrated in his Musnad the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her):
A woman used to go to Quraysh and make them laugh. She came to Madeenah and stayed with a woman who also made people laugh. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: With whom is So and so staying? She said: With So and so, who makes people laugh.
Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) in which he explains the motives and causes of love, and how these vary among people.
He (may Allaah have mercy on him) says:
“Compatibility between souls is one of the strongest causes of love. Every person is attracted towards that which is compatible with him, and this compatibility is of two types:
original compatibility which is ingrained in the essence and that which comes later because of living together or having something in common.
If your aims match his aims, there will be harmony between your soul and his, but if the aims are different, then harmony will no longer exist.
As for original compatibility, it is a kind of similarity in attitude and similarity of souls. Each soul longs for other souls that are similar to it, because what is similar to something is naturally attracted to it, so the two souls may be similar in original creation, thus there will be a natural attraction to one another.
This is what made some people say that love is not only caused by physical beauty, and the lack of physical beauty does not mean that there can be no love; rather it is similarity between souls and similarity in their characteristics which are created in them that matter.
The reality of love is that it is like a mirror in which the lover sees his characteristics and kindness in the image of the one he loves, so in reality he loves nothing but himself and his characteristics and the one who has similar characteristics.
Hence noble, pure and sublime souls love the characteristics of perfection in particular, so the dearest things to them are knowledge, bravery, dignity, generosity, kindness, patience and steadfastness, because these characteristics are compatible with the essence of these souls, unlike base and mean souls, which are far away from loving these characteristics. Many people are motivated to be generous and kind because of their extreme love for these characteristics and the pleasure they find in doing these things, to such an extent that al-Ma’moon said:
Forgiveness was made so dear to me that I am afraid that I will not be rewarded for it.
And it was said to Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allaah have mercy on him):
Did you acquire this knowledge for the sake of Allaah? He said: To do something for the sake of Allaah is very rare, but it was something made dear to me, so I did it.
Someone else said: I rejoice in giving and enjoy it far more than the one who takes from me rejoices in what he takes.
With regard to the lovers of knowledge, their love for knowledge is greater than the love of anyone else or anything else. Many of them will not be distracted from it by the most beautiful of human images.
Our Shaykh – meaning Ibn Taymiyah – told me:
“I felt sick and the doctor said to me: Your reading and discussing issues of knowledge is making your sickness worse. I said to him: I cannot stay away from that, and I shall discuss the issue on the basis of your (medical) knowledge. Is it not the case that when the soul feels joy, this gives strength to the body and wards off disease? He said yes. I said:
Then my soul feels happy with knowledge and thus my body becomes stronger and this helps me to recover. He said: This is not part of our treatment, or words to that effect.”
If the love relationship is based on similarity and harmony, then it will be reinforced and become stronger, and nothing could remove it except something stronger than the cause of it, and if it is not based on similarity and harmony, then it is no more than love for a reason, which will disappear when the reason disappears.
Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allaah have mercy on him) narrated in his Musnad the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her):
A woman used to go to Quraysh and make them laugh. She came to Madeenah and stayed with a woman who also made people laugh. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: With whom is So and so staying? She said: With So and so, who makes people laugh.
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He said: “Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.” The original version of this hadeeth is in al-Saheeh.
If you look at creation, you will hardly find any two people who love one another except that there is some similarity between them or they have something in common with regard to deeds, characteristics or goals. If the goals, characteristics, deeds or ways differ, there can only be aversion and distance between their hearts. It is sufficient to note the saheeh hadeeth from the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him):
“The believers, in their mutual mercy, love and compassion, are like a (single) body; if one part of it feels pain, the rest of the body will join it in staying awake and suffering fever.”
[Rawdat al-Muhibbin wa-Nuzhat al-Mustaqin by Ibn al Qayyim al-Jawziyyah, 66-74]
If you look at creation, you will hardly find any two people who love one another except that there is some similarity between them or they have something in common with regard to deeds, characteristics or goals. If the goals, characteristics, deeds or ways differ, there can only be aversion and distance between their hearts. It is sufficient to note the saheeh hadeeth from the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him):
“The believers, in their mutual mercy, love and compassion, are like a (single) body; if one part of it feels pain, the rest of the body will join it in staying awake and suffering fever.”
[Rawdat al-Muhibbin wa-Nuzhat al-Mustaqin by Ibn al Qayyim al-Jawziyyah, 66-74]
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She is struggling deeply in her marriage, and she doesn’t know how to make sense of what she’s feeling.
From the beginning, she expressed that she didn’t feel compatibility with her husband even before the nikkah. She tried to explain that something felt off, that moving forward might be difficult, but her concerns were dismissed with the usual reassurance: “everything will be fine.”
Now, after marriage, she finds herself overwhelmed with anxiety and resentment. It’s not about his looks or how others perceive him—people say he’s a good, average man, and she agrees. But for her, something just doesn’t feel right. Even the thought of him makes her anxious, and she can’t explain why.
She is trying her best—pretending, adjusting, engaging—but conversations feel forced and uncomfortable. There’s no emotional connection or sense of ease. The idea of building a life with him causes her real distress.
Some of his actions have added to her discomfort. For example, instead of addressing concerns directly with her, he involved her mother, saying he was “just sharing,” which she found inappropriate. When she asked about it, he became offended and gave her the silent treatment.
She feels completely stuck. She can’t openly communicate because there’s no comfort or trust. At the same time, separation feels nearly impossible due to societal pressure and fear of being blamed.
She is emotionally exhausted from pretending.
What can she do? How can she communicate or cope when she feels so disconnected?
#Anonymous
From the beginning, she expressed that she didn’t feel compatibility with her husband even before the nikkah. She tried to explain that something felt off, that moving forward might be difficult, but her concerns were dismissed with the usual reassurance: “everything will be fine.”
Now, after marriage, she finds herself overwhelmed with anxiety and resentment. It’s not about his looks or how others perceive him—people say he’s a good, average man, and she agrees. But for her, something just doesn’t feel right. Even the thought of him makes her anxious, and she can’t explain why.
She is trying her best—pretending, adjusting, engaging—but conversations feel forced and uncomfortable. There’s no emotional connection or sense of ease. The idea of building a life with him causes her real distress.
Some of his actions have added to her discomfort. For example, instead of addressing concerns directly with her, he involved her mother, saying he was “just sharing,” which she found inappropriate. When she asked about it, he became offended and gave her the silent treatment.
She feels completely stuck. She can’t openly communicate because there’s no comfort or trust. At the same time, separation feels nearly impossible due to societal pressure and fear of being blamed.
She is emotionally exhausted from pretending.
What can she do? How can she communicate or cope when she feels so disconnected?
#Anonymous
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Muslim Marriage Tips
She is struggling deeply in her marriage, and she doesn’t know how to make sense of what she’s feeling. From the beginning, she expressed that she didn’t feel compatibility with her husband even before the nikkah. She tried to explain that something felt…
In Islam, a marriage is meant to bring sukoon (peace and emotional comfort), as Allah mentions in the Qur'an (30:21). Her feelings are valid and should not be dismissed—especially since she expressed concerns even before the nikkah. Islam does not encourage suppressing genuine distress. At the same time, it teaches us to try with wisdom and patience. She can attempt gentle, non-confrontational communication—expressing her feelings without blame. If direct communication feels too heavy, involving a fair and wise mediator (as guided in the Qur'an 4:35) or seeking Islamic counseling is a very strong and recommended step. A trained counselor can help both of them understand each other and uncover whether this marriage can be emotionally nurtured.
However, Islam also does not require a person to live in ongoing emotional pain. If she sincerely tries—through communication, counseling, and dua—and still feels deep aversion and anxiety, then Islam allows separation as a last option, without sin or shame. Her worth is not defined by societal pressure. What matters is her honesty with Allah and her well-being. She should turn to Allah regularly through prayer and Istikhara, asking for clarity and ease, trusting that Allah knows what is hidden in her heart.
O Allah, bring harmony between our hearts, correct our affairs, and guide us to the paths of peace. Ameen 🤲
However, Islam also does not require a person to live in ongoing emotional pain. If she sincerely tries—through communication, counseling, and dua—and still feels deep aversion and anxiety, then Islam allows separation as a last option, without sin or shame. Her worth is not defined by societal pressure. What matters is her honesty with Allah and her well-being. She should turn to Allah regularly through prayer and Istikhara, asking for clarity and ease, trusting that Allah knows what is hidden in her heart.
O Allah, bring harmony between our hearts, correct our affairs, and guide us to the paths of peace. Ameen 🤲
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The Difference Between the Righteous Woman and the Righteous Wife
Ibn Nasr al-Faqih رحمه الله:
"I married a woman who had memorized the Book of Allāh and had memorized the Muwatta, a woman who was devoted to worship. Despite all of that, I never experienced continuous happiness with her for even three consecutive days."
[Riyadh an-Nufoos, 2/186]
Explanation:
Being a righteous woman (pious, knowledgeable, devoted in worship) does not automatically equate to the same as being a “righteous wife.” The account says: even though the woman had strong religious qualities (she memorized the Qur’an and was devoted to acts of worship), the marriage itself was not happy or harmonious. The husband says he couldn’t have even three consecutive days of peace or joy with her. So the underlying meaning is that personal piety is not the same as good relationship skills.
Being religious or knowledgeable does not guarantee kindness, compatibility, patience, or emotional understanding in a marriage. A “righteous wife” includes how she treats her spouse, not just her individual worship.
In short: it’s emphasizing that character in relationships (behavior, treatment, emotional depth, attitude) matters just as much as religious devotion.
Meaning, a righteous woman may not necessarily also be a righteous wife. However a righteous wife almost always is also a righteous woman.
Ibn Nasr al-Faqih رحمه الله:
"I married a woman who had memorized the Book of Allāh and had memorized the Muwatta, a woman who was devoted to worship. Despite all of that, I never experienced continuous happiness with her for even three consecutive days."
[Riyadh an-Nufoos, 2/186]
Explanation:
Being a righteous woman (pious, knowledgeable, devoted in worship) does not automatically equate to the same as being a “righteous wife.” The account says: even though the woman had strong religious qualities (she memorized the Qur’an and was devoted to acts of worship), the marriage itself was not happy or harmonious. The husband says he couldn’t have even three consecutive days of peace or joy with her. So the underlying meaning is that personal piety is not the same as good relationship skills.
Being religious or knowledgeable does not guarantee kindness, compatibility, patience, or emotional understanding in a marriage. A “righteous wife” includes how she treats her spouse, not just her individual worship.
In short: it’s emphasizing that character in relationships (behavior, treatment, emotional depth, attitude) matters just as much as religious devotion.
Meaning, a righteous woman may not necessarily also be a righteous wife. However a righteous wife almost always is also a righteous woman.
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The Şahabas used to compete for widows and divorces too, not just virgins.
Jamēlah bint Ubay رضي الله عنها's first marriage was to Hanzalah. After the nikah, they spent just one night together before he went for jihad the following day and was martyred. She became a widow just aday after getting married.
She was later married to Thābit Ibn Qays. The marriage didn't last long due to compatibility issues, so she later requested a divorce from the Prophet (ﷺ).
(Oh Messenger of Allāh, I do not blame Thābit in regards to his deen and akhlaq, but I hate to commit kufr (ingratitude) when I am a Muslim). So they were allowed to part ways through khula, which made her a divorcee.
After that divorce, she was later married again to Malik Ibn Duksham, and he later died, making Jamēlah a widow once again.
She was later married again to Habīb Ibn Isāfah, and this time she died.
This is how the same woman was married to four different men. When she sought a divorce from her second husband, no one blamed her for not staying longer in the marriage. No one reminded her that she was a widow when Thābit married her and that she should remain in the marriage no matter what happens. Instead, her wish was granted and she was separated from her husband. Yet, she wasn't seen as a bad wife material. Rather, she was still married again by two other husbands.
The Șahabas didn't only compete for virgins, they also competed for widows and divorcees because they realized that Muslim women were a collective responsibility for all men.
Today, within the muslim society, widows and divorces are considered to be the dustbin. People think marrying them is a favor except for few. Is that not even reason muslim men behave these days like anyway anyhow to their wives? Marriage these days is all about endurance. Which sunnah are we following?
We are not connecting ourselves to the history of this Deen how can we know these are the stories that should replace our movies at home.
We are in the month of Ramadan , how many times have you engaged your family and connect them to the story of Badr which took place in this month
Dear youth. Please marry☺️
May Allah rectify our affairs for us.
Jamēlah bint Ubay رضي الله عنها's first marriage was to Hanzalah. After the nikah, they spent just one night together before he went for jihad the following day and was martyred. She became a widow just aday after getting married.
She was later married to Thābit Ibn Qays. The marriage didn't last long due to compatibility issues, so she later requested a divorce from the Prophet (ﷺ).
(Oh Messenger of Allāh, I do not blame Thābit in regards to his deen and akhlaq, but I hate to commit kufr (ingratitude) when I am a Muslim). So they were allowed to part ways through khula, which made her a divorcee.
After that divorce, she was later married again to Malik Ibn Duksham, and he later died, making Jamēlah a widow once again.
She was later married again to Habīb Ibn Isāfah, and this time she died.
This is how the same woman was married to four different men. When she sought a divorce from her second husband, no one blamed her for not staying longer in the marriage. No one reminded her that she was a widow when Thābit married her and that she should remain in the marriage no matter what happens. Instead, her wish was granted and she was separated from her husband. Yet, she wasn't seen as a bad wife material. Rather, she was still married again by two other husbands.
The Șahabas didn't only compete for virgins, they also competed for widows and divorcees because they realized that Muslim women were a collective responsibility for all men.
Today, within the muslim society, widows and divorces are considered to be the dustbin. People think marrying them is a favor except for few. Is that not even reason muslim men behave these days like anyway anyhow to their wives? Marriage these days is all about endurance. Which sunnah are we following?
We are not connecting ourselves to the history of this Deen how can we know these are the stories that should replace our movies at home.
We are in the month of Ramadan , how many times have you engaged your family and connect them to the story of Badr which took place in this month
Dear youth. Please marry☺️
May Allah rectify our affairs for us.
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The Quran allows polygamy:
"Marry women of your choice, two, three, or four”. Men quote this when they want a second wife. But they NEVER finish the verse:
"But if you fear you cannot be just, then marry only one."
"Justice" in Islam means:
• Equal time with each wife
• Equal financial support
• Equal emotional care
• Equal intimacy
• Equal housing
Not "I'll favor the younger one."
The Prophet said:
"Whoever has two wives and inclines more to one than the other will come on the Day of Judgment with one side of his body hanging down."
(Tirmidhi)
But brothers want polygamy when:
• First wife is "old"
• She gained weight
• She's sick
• They're just bored
Then call it "Sunnah."
The Prophet a practiced polygamy to
• Protect widows
• Form tribal alliances
• Spread Islamic knowledge through his wives
Not during lifetime of Khadijah (RA).
He didn't marry a second wife until
AFTER Khadijah (RA) died.
25 years with ONE wife.
If you can't be satisfied with one for 5 years...
You're not following his example.
And the same verse says:
"You will NEVER be able to be equal between wives even if you wish."
(4:129)
Allah Himself said you CAN'T be perfectly just.
You want a second wife?
Ask yourself:
• Can I afford two households?
• Can I split my time exactly equally?
• Will I love them both the same?
• Am I doing this for Allah or my nafs?
People leave out that the verse was about protecting widows and orphans!!
As ayah STARTS with "if you fear you cannot deal justly with the orphans then marry women 2, or 3 or 4" But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses (4:3)
Polygamy is halal.But in the Qur'an comes with strict conditions.justice, fairness, and responsibility.
But using it as an excuse to upgrade your wife?
That's not Islam.
That's ego.
Allahuma Bareek✌️
Copied
"Marry women of your choice, two, three, or four”. Men quote this when they want a second wife. But they NEVER finish the verse:
"But if you fear you cannot be just, then marry only one."
"Justice" in Islam means:
• Equal time with each wife
• Equal financial support
• Equal emotional care
• Equal intimacy
• Equal housing
Not "I'll favor the younger one."
The Prophet said:
"Whoever has two wives and inclines more to one than the other will come on the Day of Judgment with one side of his body hanging down."
(Tirmidhi)
But brothers want polygamy when:
• First wife is "old"
• She gained weight
• She's sick
• They're just bored
Then call it "Sunnah."
The Prophet a practiced polygamy to
• Protect widows
• Form tribal alliances
• Spread Islamic knowledge through his wives
Not during lifetime of Khadijah (RA).
He didn't marry a second wife until
AFTER Khadijah (RA) died.
25 years with ONE wife.
If you can't be satisfied with one for 5 years...
You're not following his example.
And the same verse says:
"You will NEVER be able to be equal between wives even if you wish."
(4:129)
Allah Himself said you CAN'T be perfectly just.
You want a second wife?
Ask yourself:
• Can I afford two households?
• Can I split my time exactly equally?
• Will I love them both the same?
• Am I doing this for Allah or my nafs?
People leave out that the verse was about protecting widows and orphans!!
As ayah STARTS with "if you fear you cannot deal justly with the orphans then marry women 2, or 3 or 4" But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses (4:3)
Polygamy is halal.But in the Qur'an comes with strict conditions.justice, fairness, and responsibility.
But using it as an excuse to upgrade your wife?
That's not Islam.
That's ego.
Allahuma Bareek✌️
Copied
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A sister needs to have something doing, and our parents should train their daughters to have skills that can fetch them a sustainable life. There is nothing stopping a Muslim sister, with Khimar or niqob working even if it is from the comfort of her home.
When a sister goes begging, she is exposed already because the society is corrupt. People do not give women without expecting something in return. During trials, it could be the divorce or death of a spouse. These women suffer. This difficult situation makes them hate men, marriage, and people around them.
Her money is to keep the sister relevant financially, not to be the breadwinner of the family, she needs to be a submissive wife to her husband in the homefront despite her efforts. In our schools and madrasah, we have to include vocational training, it should be part of the curriculum, our sons and daughters must have positive skills and goals to help them.
The single sisters are being lured with money into temptation. Some of them can not afford the least things like recharge card or data, so these uncultured guys have consistently used it against them for evil dealings. A righteous sister that can make bags, shoes, beads, clothes, etc. will not be reduced for cheap games. But when she can not afford basic things, it can be dangerous.
Always pay attention to details.
Abu Sheikh
When a sister goes begging, she is exposed already because the society is corrupt. People do not give women without expecting something in return. During trials, it could be the divorce or death of a spouse. These women suffer. This difficult situation makes them hate men, marriage, and people around them.
Her money is to keep the sister relevant financially, not to be the breadwinner of the family, she needs to be a submissive wife to her husband in the homefront despite her efforts. In our schools and madrasah, we have to include vocational training, it should be part of the curriculum, our sons and daughters must have positive skills and goals to help them.
The single sisters are being lured with money into temptation. Some of them can not afford the least things like recharge card or data, so these uncultured guys have consistently used it against them for evil dealings. A righteous sister that can make bags, shoes, beads, clothes, etc. will not be reduced for cheap games. But when she can not afford basic things, it can be dangerous.
Always pay attention to details.
Abu Sheikh
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Polygamy is part of Allah’s law. It is not dependent on the approval of the first wife. This is a command with conditions, not a social experiment.
The real issue is understanding. Many women oppose polygamy because they are looking at it from emotion, not from deen. As long as their life is stable, they don’t see its purpose. But when hardship comes, especially in cases of widowhood, divorce, or financial struggle, the wisdom behind polygamy becomes clear.
This system is not random. It exists to solve real problems in society, including protection, financial support, and lawful companionship for women who might otherwise be left vulnerable.
At the same time, be clear: polygamy is not for every man. It requires strict justice in time, finances, and responsibility. Most men fail here. Misusing polygamy for desire or ego is not Sunnah.
In today’s world, where zina is widespread, a properly practiced polygamy system can act as a safeguard. Marrying and supporting widows or divorced women is not a small act. It carries great reward when done sincerely.
The rejection of polygamy today is largely influenced by modern ideologies, not Islamic understanding. But Allah’s laws are not based on trends. They are based on knowledge of human nature, society, and long-term balance.
Whether people accept it or not does not change its place in Islam. The responsibility is to understand it correctly and practice it with justice, not to reshape it based on personal comfort.
https://t.me/MuslimMarriageTips
The real issue is understanding. Many women oppose polygamy because they are looking at it from emotion, not from deen. As long as their life is stable, they don’t see its purpose. But when hardship comes, especially in cases of widowhood, divorce, or financial struggle, the wisdom behind polygamy becomes clear.
This system is not random. It exists to solve real problems in society, including protection, financial support, and lawful companionship for women who might otherwise be left vulnerable.
At the same time, be clear: polygamy is not for every man. It requires strict justice in time, finances, and responsibility. Most men fail here. Misusing polygamy for desire or ego is not Sunnah.
In today’s world, where zina is widespread, a properly practiced polygamy system can act as a safeguard. Marrying and supporting widows or divorced women is not a small act. It carries great reward when done sincerely.
The rejection of polygamy today is largely influenced by modern ideologies, not Islamic understanding. But Allah’s laws are not based on trends. They are based on knowledge of human nature, society, and long-term balance.
Whether people accept it or not does not change its place in Islam. The responsibility is to understand it correctly and practice it with justice, not to reshape it based on personal comfort.
https://t.me/MuslimMarriageTips
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Muslim Marriage Tips
Most successful couples,r thse,who don’t live according to d expectations of others.Thy don’t look around&try to copy others, instead, thy look towards1 another&start this journey of marriage with trust in Allaah&eachOther.
muslimmarriagetips77@gmail.com
muslimmarriagetips77@gmail.com
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“Certainly the strength of Yusuf’s sincerity [عليه سلم] was stronger than the beauty of Azeez’s wife, stronger than her allure, and his want for her.”
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