Why Does Allah Call Spouses “Clothing”? 🤍
Not friends.
Not partners.
But clothing.
Allah ﷻ says:
“Your spouses are a garment for you as you are for them.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:187)
This word was not chosen randomly.
It carries layers of meaning… deeper than anything else.
💭 What does “clothing” really mean?
1. Clothing covers flaws
Just as clothes hide imperfections…
spouses are meant to protect each other’s faults — not expose them.
2. Clothing is the closest thing
Nothing is closer to your body than your clothes.
Marriage is not distant… it is deep emotional and spiritual closeness.
3. Clothing provides comfort
Good clothing brings ease and peace.
A healthy marriage brings sakinah… not stress.
4. Clothing protects
From heat, cold, and harm.
Spouses protect each other - physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
5. Clothing enhances beauty
Clothes make you look better.
A good spouse elevates your life, your character, your deen.
6. Clothing needs care
Without care… it wears out.
Marriage needs effort, patience, communication, and mercy.
💭 Why not “friend” or “partner”?
Because those words can carry distance.
But “clothing”…
is intimate.
attached.
protective.
a part of you.
🌙 Marriage in Islam is not just living together…
it is becoming a source of peace for each other.
💎 Not exposing… but covering.
Not hurting… but protecting.
💭 Final Reminder:
Be the kind of “clothing”…
that brings warmth…
not discomfort.
Not friends.
Not partners.
But clothing.
Allah ﷻ says:
“Your spouses are a garment for you as you are for them.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:187)
This word was not chosen randomly.
It carries layers of meaning… deeper than anything else.
💭 What does “clothing” really mean?
1. Clothing covers flaws
Just as clothes hide imperfections…
spouses are meant to protect each other’s faults — not expose them.
2. Clothing is the closest thing
Nothing is closer to your body than your clothes.
Marriage is not distant… it is deep emotional and spiritual closeness.
3. Clothing provides comfort
Good clothing brings ease and peace.
A healthy marriage brings sakinah… not stress.
4. Clothing protects
From heat, cold, and harm.
Spouses protect each other - physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
5. Clothing enhances beauty
Clothes make you look better.
A good spouse elevates your life, your character, your deen.
6. Clothing needs care
Without care… it wears out.
Marriage needs effort, patience, communication, and mercy.
💭 Why not “friend” or “partner”?
Because those words can carry distance.
But “clothing”…
is intimate.
attached.
protective.
a part of you.
🌙 Marriage in Islam is not just living together…
it is becoming a source of peace for each other.
💎 Not exposing… but covering.
Not hurting… but protecting.
💭 Final Reminder:
Be the kind of “clothing”…
that brings warmth…
not discomfort.
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Marriage has six stages,
But most couples give up at stage three.
Stage 1: The Honeymoon Stage....
In the honeymoon stage, everything feels easy.
You both try harder.
You forgive faster. You overlook flaws because you're still learning each other.
Love feels automatic because life hasn't tested you yet.
This is where everyone wants to stay.
Everything is new. Every touch is electric.
Every conversation feels like a discovery.
The hormones are flooding your system.
You feel like you've finally found what you've been looking for.
This stage is beautiful. But it is not real. It is nature's way of bonding you before reality sets in.
Stage 2: The Reality Stage
This is where the newness wears off.
The hormones settle.
You start to notice the things you overlooked.
He leaves his socks everywhere.
She needs more reassurance than you expected.
The conversations become less about dreams and more about logistics.
This stage is where many couples panic.
They think something has gone wrong.
Nothing has gone wrong.
You are just meeting the real person behind the chemistry.
This is where the real work begins.
Stage 3: The Disappointment Stage
This is the stage where most couples give up.
You realize your partner is not who you thought they were.
Or rather, they are not who you projected onto them.
The disappointment is real. The fantasy has died.
You may feel betrayed, even though no one betrayed you.
You may think you married the wrong person. You didn't.
You just met the real them.
The question is not whether they are perfect.
The question is whether you can love them as they are.
Stage 4: The Adjustment Stage
If you survive stage three, you enter adjustment.
This is where you stop trying to change each other and start learning to work with each other.
You negotiate. You compromise.
You learn what battles to fight and what to let go.
This stage is not romantic. It is practical.
But it is where real partnership is built.
You stop asking "why aren't you different?" and start asking "how can we make this work?"
Stage 5: The Companionship Stage
This is where the marriage becomes solid.
You know each other now.
The surprises are mostly gone, replaced by deep knowing.
You finish each other's sentences.
You know what the other needs before they ask.
This stage feels less exciting than the beginning, but it is richer.
The passion is quieter, but deeper.
You have become teammates who have survived battles together.
That bond is stronger than any honeymoon.
Stage 6: The Deep Love Stage
Few couples reach this stage.
This is where love becomes unconditional.
Not because you don't see each other's flaws, but because you have chosen to love through them.
This is the stage where you can be silent together and feel closer than when you talked.
Where you can fight and know the fight won't break you.
Where you have seen each other at your worst and still choose to stay.
This stage is not given. It is earned. Over years. Over tears. Over forgiveness.
And it is worth every hard stage that came before it.
But most couples give up at stage three.
Stage 1: The Honeymoon Stage....
In the honeymoon stage, everything feels easy.
You both try harder.
You forgive faster. You overlook flaws because you're still learning each other.
Love feels automatic because life hasn't tested you yet.
This is where everyone wants to stay.
Everything is new. Every touch is electric.
Every conversation feels like a discovery.
The hormones are flooding your system.
You feel like you've finally found what you've been looking for.
This stage is beautiful. But it is not real. It is nature's way of bonding you before reality sets in.
Stage 2: The Reality Stage
This is where the newness wears off.
The hormones settle.
You start to notice the things you overlooked.
He leaves his socks everywhere.
She needs more reassurance than you expected.
The conversations become less about dreams and more about logistics.
This stage is where many couples panic.
They think something has gone wrong.
Nothing has gone wrong.
You are just meeting the real person behind the chemistry.
This is where the real work begins.
Stage 3: The Disappointment Stage
This is the stage where most couples give up.
You realize your partner is not who you thought they were.
Or rather, they are not who you projected onto them.
The disappointment is real. The fantasy has died.
You may feel betrayed, even though no one betrayed you.
You may think you married the wrong person. You didn't.
You just met the real them.
The question is not whether they are perfect.
The question is whether you can love them as they are.
Stage 4: The Adjustment Stage
If you survive stage three, you enter adjustment.
This is where you stop trying to change each other and start learning to work with each other.
You negotiate. You compromise.
You learn what battles to fight and what to let go.
This stage is not romantic. It is practical.
But it is where real partnership is built.
You stop asking "why aren't you different?" and start asking "how can we make this work?"
Stage 5: The Companionship Stage
This is where the marriage becomes solid.
You know each other now.
The surprises are mostly gone, replaced by deep knowing.
You finish each other's sentences.
You know what the other needs before they ask.
This stage feels less exciting than the beginning, but it is richer.
The passion is quieter, but deeper.
You have become teammates who have survived battles together.
That bond is stronger than any honeymoon.
Stage 6: The Deep Love Stage
Few couples reach this stage.
This is where love becomes unconditional.
Not because you don't see each other's flaws, but because you have chosen to love through them.
This is the stage where you can be silent together and feel closer than when you talked.
Where you can fight and know the fight won't break you.
Where you have seen each other at your worst and still choose to stay.
This stage is not given. It is earned. Over years. Over tears. Over forgiveness.
And it is worth every hard stage that came before it.
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The default state of a Muslim woman is:
"And abide in your homes and do not display yourselves as (in) the display of the former times of ignorance." (Qur'an 33:33)
If she is compelled to go out:
"And not reveal their adornment" (Qur'an 24:31)
If she walks:
"And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment" (Qur'an 24:31)
If she speaks:
"Then do not be soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is disease should be moved with desire, but speak with appropriate speech." (Qur'an 33:32)
This is how Islam teaches manners to the Muslim woman in the Qur'an. 🤍
"And abide in your homes and do not display yourselves as (in) the display of the former times of ignorance." (Qur'an 33:33)
If she is compelled to go out:
"And not reveal their adornment" (Qur'an 24:31)
If she walks:
"And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment" (Qur'an 24:31)
If she speaks:
"Then do not be soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is disease should be moved with desire, but speak with appropriate speech." (Qur'an 33:32)
This is how Islam teaches manners to the Muslim woman in the Qur'an. 🤍
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Sis, a marriage built on taqwa
where both people fear Allah more than they fear losing each other
is the most stable thing in this dunya.
don't settle for less just because you're tired of waiting.
tired passes. a bad nikah doesn't.
where both people fear Allah more than they fear losing each other
is the most stable thing in this dunya.
don't settle for less just because you're tired of waiting.
tired passes. a bad nikah doesn't.
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YOU WILL CRY WHEN YOU READ
THIS
~A parent's home is always a child's home. But a child's home is not always a place their parents are welcome to stay.
~A parent's money is always for their children. But a child's money is not always set aside for their parents
~A parent's wealth will surely be enjoyed by their children. But a child's wealth is not always shared with their parents
So love your parents while you still can. Because in this world, there is no love more sincere than the love of your parents.
THIS
~A parent's home is always a child's home. But a child's home is not always a place their parents are welcome to stay.
~A parent's money is always for their children. But a child's money is not always set aside for their parents
~A parent's wealth will surely be enjoyed by their children. But a child's wealth is not always shared with their parents
So love your parents while you still can. Because in this world, there is no love more sincere than the love of your parents.
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A MOTHER'S ADVICE TO HER DAUGHTER.
Advice of Umāmah Bint Al-Hārith to her Daughter Umm Iyyās on the Night of her Marriage
Umāmah Bint Al-Hārith said to her daughter when she was being sent off to her husband:
My dear daughter, if advice were to be left off due to the refinement of one's manners then you would be in no need of that. However, it is a reminder for the heedless and useful tool for the intelligent. If it were that a woman could go without a husband due to the wealth of her parents and their great need for her then you would be the least of the people in need for that. However, the women have been created for men and men for women.
My dear daughter, you have left the environment from which you have sprouted and left the life which you have grown up in, going to a home that you do not know and a companion that you are unfamiliar with. He has become, by his authority over you, an overseer and a king. So be a servant to him and he will be a willing servant to you.
My dear daughter, take from me ten qualities and they will be for you an asset and a reminder:
Accompany him in contentment and be amicable with him by hearing and obeying.
Safeguard where his eyes land and safeguard what his nose smells, so that his eyes never see anything ugly from you and his nose never smells any repugnant odor. Kohl is the best make-up and water (i.e., good hygiene) is the best perfume.
Safeguard his meal times and keep tranquil his sleep times. The heat of hunger is infuriating and deprivation of sleep is irritating.
Safeguard his home and his money and take good care of him, his relatives, and take care of his children. Safeguarding his money is a sign of good judgement and taking care of his children and relatives is a sign of good management.
Don't spread his secrets and don't disobey his commands. If you spread his secrets you will not be safe of him lying to you and if you oppose his commands he will resent you.
Beware of displaying joy when he is upset and and sadness when he is happy. The first is irresponsible and the second is antagonistic.
The more you honor him the more veneration he will have for you; the more you are in agreement with him the longer your time will be with him.
And know, that you will not attain that which you want from him until you give preference to pleasing him over pleasing yourself and to his desire over your own in whether you like it or not. And may Allāh give good to all.
Source: Bulūgh Al-Arb by Al-Alūsī 2/19
Translated by Raha Batts.
AL WAHYAIN CENTRE.
Toronto, Canada 🇨🇦.
Striving to be upon Salafiyyah.
_The Salaf are the first three generations of Islam. They were the Sahabah, Tabieen and Atba-Tabieen. Allah Azzawajal praised them and commanded us to follow them exactly (read Al Qurʾān 9:100)._
Advice of Umāmah Bint Al-Hārith to her Daughter Umm Iyyās on the Night of her Marriage
Umāmah Bint Al-Hārith said to her daughter when she was being sent off to her husband:
My dear daughter, if advice were to be left off due to the refinement of one's manners then you would be in no need of that. However, it is a reminder for the heedless and useful tool for the intelligent. If it were that a woman could go without a husband due to the wealth of her parents and their great need for her then you would be the least of the people in need for that. However, the women have been created for men and men for women.
My dear daughter, you have left the environment from which you have sprouted and left the life which you have grown up in, going to a home that you do not know and a companion that you are unfamiliar with. He has become, by his authority over you, an overseer and a king. So be a servant to him and he will be a willing servant to you.
My dear daughter, take from me ten qualities and they will be for you an asset and a reminder:
Accompany him in contentment and be amicable with him by hearing and obeying.
Safeguard where his eyes land and safeguard what his nose smells, so that his eyes never see anything ugly from you and his nose never smells any repugnant odor. Kohl is the best make-up and water (i.e., good hygiene) is the best perfume.
Safeguard his meal times and keep tranquil his sleep times. The heat of hunger is infuriating and deprivation of sleep is irritating.
Safeguard his home and his money and take good care of him, his relatives, and take care of his children. Safeguarding his money is a sign of good judgement and taking care of his children and relatives is a sign of good management.
Don't spread his secrets and don't disobey his commands. If you spread his secrets you will not be safe of him lying to you and if you oppose his commands he will resent you.
Beware of displaying joy when he is upset and and sadness when he is happy. The first is irresponsible and the second is antagonistic.
The more you honor him the more veneration he will have for you; the more you are in agreement with him the longer your time will be with him.
And know, that you will not attain that which you want from him until you give preference to pleasing him over pleasing yourself and to his desire over your own in whether you like it or not. And may Allāh give good to all.
Source: Bulūgh Al-Arb by Al-Alūsī 2/19
Translated by Raha Batts.
AL WAHYAIN CENTRE.
Toronto, Canada 🇨🇦.
Striving to be upon Salafiyyah.
_The Salaf are the first three generations of Islam. They were the Sahabah, Tabieen and Atba-Tabieen. Allah Azzawajal praised them and commanded us to follow them exactly (read Al Qurʾān 9:100)._
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Quote of the day
Sufyan bin Uyaynah said:
"Whoever seeks honor (due to marriage) may be tested with humiliation, whoever seeks wealth may be tested with poverty, but whoever seeks religion, Allah will gather for him honor, wealth, and religion altogether."
(Hilya tul Auliya 7/289 )
Sufyan bin Uyaynah said:
"Whoever seeks honor (due to marriage) may be tested with humiliation, whoever seeks wealth may be tested with poverty, but whoever seeks religion, Allah will gather for him honor, wealth, and religion altogether."
(Hilya tul Auliya 7/289 )
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“I will not taste sleep until you are pleased.”
(Characteristics of a righteous wife)
The Messenger of Allāh ﷺ said:
“Shall I not inform you about the best of your women from the people of Paradise (al-Jannah)?
They are loving, child-bearing, those who return to their husbands. The one who, if she causes harm to her husband or is harmed by him, and in another narration: if her husband becomes angry with her, she comes to him until she takes hold of his hand and says:
‘By Allāh, I will not taste sleep until you are pleased.’”
[رواه النسائي والطبراني وحسنه الألباني]
Shaykh Sulaymān ar-Ruḥaylī حفظه الله said in its explanation:
From the rights of the husband upon his wife is that she is diligent in not angering him and not becoming angry with him. And if she becomes angry with him or she makes him angry, she returns to him seeking to please him.
[Taken from the book: Rights of the Spouses, p. 36]
A righteous wife does not compete with her husband, she protects the peace of the home and seeks the pleasure of Allah through it.
(Characteristics of a righteous wife)
The Messenger of Allāh ﷺ said:
“Shall I not inform you about the best of your women from the people of Paradise (al-Jannah)?
They are loving, child-bearing, those who return to their husbands. The one who, if she causes harm to her husband or is harmed by him, and in another narration: if her husband becomes angry with her, she comes to him until she takes hold of his hand and says:
‘By Allāh, I will not taste sleep until you are pleased.’”
[رواه النسائي والطبراني وحسنه الألباني]
Shaykh Sulaymān ar-Ruḥaylī حفظه الله said in its explanation:
From the rights of the husband upon his wife is that she is diligent in not angering him and not becoming angry with him. And if she becomes angry with him or she makes him angry, she returns to him seeking to please him.
[Taken from the book: Rights of the Spouses, p. 36]
A righteous wife does not compete with her husband, she protects the peace of the home and seeks the pleasure of Allah through it.
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The mind-blowing love between Qadi Shurayh (Student of Umar bin khattab) and his wife.
Shurayh said to his student Sha‘bi:
"I lived with Zaynab (his wife) for twenty years. I never got angry with her, day or night, except for one day and even that day, I was the one in the wrong.
I had prayed the two rak‘ahs of Fajr and saw a scorpion. I hurried to deal with it, flipped a bowl over it, and rushed to my prayer. I said: 'O Zaynab, don’t touch the bowl.' But she rushed to it, moved it, and the scorpion stung her.
Sha‘bi, if only you had seen me sucking her fingers and reciting the two protective surahs over her.
Then he spoke about his neighbour and spoke about his worst trait of beating his wife.
'I saw men beating their wives
May my right hand be paralised the day I would beat Zaynab.'
Shurayh also said:
'Zaynab is the sun, and all other women are stars
When she rises, no star remains visible.'
Adapted from Al-Jalis al-Ṣāliḥ, vol. 1, p. 568 onward. Authenticated by the author Al-Muʿāfā ibn Zakariyyā (305–390 AH).
Courtesy: Brother Asim Ul Haq
Shurayh said to his student Sha‘bi:
"I lived with Zaynab (his wife) for twenty years. I never got angry with her, day or night, except for one day and even that day, I was the one in the wrong.
I had prayed the two rak‘ahs of Fajr and saw a scorpion. I hurried to deal with it, flipped a bowl over it, and rushed to my prayer. I said: 'O Zaynab, don’t touch the bowl.' But she rushed to it, moved it, and the scorpion stung her.
Sha‘bi, if only you had seen me sucking her fingers and reciting the two protective surahs over her.
Then he spoke about his neighbour and spoke about his worst trait of beating his wife.
'I saw men beating their wives
May my right hand be paralised the day I would beat Zaynab.'
Shurayh also said:
'Zaynab is the sun, and all other women are stars
When she rises, no star remains visible.'
Adapted from Al-Jalis al-Ṣāliḥ, vol. 1, p. 568 onward. Authenticated by the author Al-Muʿāfā ibn Zakariyyā (305–390 AH).
Courtesy: Brother Asim Ul Haq
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Only serious men are getting married against many odds, for different great reasons to be married and start a family of their own.
'Unserious' men don't have any reason to;
The process of getting married is hard.
Maintaining marriage now is also difficult and expensive.
They order sex now like random goods of different varieties (OS).
Some even get low budget and exclusive packages in the name of committed relationships and affairs - with the option of opting out anytime they're tired of it.
A lot of ladies are stuck in some situationships; situationship so close they do pelvic meet and greet regularly, yet, the lady is scared to ask a simple question; "where is this leading, or when are we getting married?" One, to not appear to be desperate, and also, because that alone can trigger the boy to feign anger of lack of understanding of his situation or whatever, and end the long term commitment, with the lady left to pick up and start again - probably with another hit and run 'unserious' boy.
Block the channel of fornication in any society, and see how family values are revived to a large extent. There are many reasons for their falling apart, but "sex na water" tradition is arguably the biggest.
And in the end, women are the biggest losers.
'Unserious' men don't have any reason to;
The process of getting married is hard.
Maintaining marriage now is also difficult and expensive.
They order sex now like random goods of different varieties (OS).
Some even get low budget and exclusive packages in the name of committed relationships and affairs - with the option of opting out anytime they're tired of it.
A lot of ladies are stuck in some situationships; situationship so close they do pelvic meet and greet regularly, yet, the lady is scared to ask a simple question; "where is this leading, or when are we getting married?" One, to not appear to be desperate, and also, because that alone can trigger the boy to feign anger of lack of understanding of his situation or whatever, and end the long term commitment, with the lady left to pick up and start again - probably with another hit and run 'unserious' boy.
Block the channel of fornication in any society, and see how family values are revived to a large extent. There are many reasons for their falling apart, but "sex na water" tradition is arguably the biggest.
And in the end, women are the biggest losers.
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It’s a big test for a woman to stop plucking her eyebrows, May Allaah reward those who have stopped this cursed act for the sake of Allaah.
"The Prophet cursed the woman who plucks eyebrows and the one who has her eyebrows plucked; the woman who extends hair and has her hair extended; and the woman who tattoos and has herself tattooed."
Reported by Imaam Al-Bukhaaree (71/61 & 62) from the narration of `Abdullaah bin Mas’ood.
"The Prophet cursed the woman who plucks eyebrows and the one who has her eyebrows plucked; the woman who extends hair and has her hair extended; and the woman who tattoos and has herself tattooed."
Reported by Imaam Al-Bukhaaree (71/61 & 62) from the narration of `Abdullaah bin Mas’ood.
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How halal is your source of income?
Men, how halal is your source of income? How halal is the source of income of your wife?
Women, how halal is your source of income? How halal is the source of income of your husband?
News reaching me is that Muslims; conscious Muslims for that matter, as in, Al-sunnah for that matter, have become slaves to money by caring less how its gotten.
There's a new ponzi scheme in town. It's beautifully designed like trade such that our brethren don't want to accept that it's haram despite the explanation that it's haram.
I won't mention what ponzi scheme it is, but I'll advise everyone to beware of the deals that are not too clear, that are not explainable and that are not traceable.
Don't be deceived. Don't deceive yourself either. What is halal is glaring and what is haram is glaring no matter how its garbed in a garment of beauty.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “O people, Allah is purely good, and He only accepts what is purely good. Verily, Allah has commanded the believers as He has commanded His Messengers. Allah said: O Messengers, eat from wholesome foods and act righteously, for I know what you do (23:51). And Allah said: O you who believe, eat from wholesome food We have provided for you,” (2:172). Then, the Prophet mentioned a man who traveled far, becoming disheveled and dusty, and he raised his hands to the sky, saying, “O Lord! O Lord!” Yet his food is unlawful, his drink is unlawful, his clothing is unlawful, and he is nourished by the unlawful, so how can he be answered?"
Let's ponder over this Hadith. The enjoyment of this world is fleeting. May we not lose our Akhirah because of it.
May Allah grant us halal sustenance against all odds. Aamin.
Men, how halal is your source of income? How halal is the source of income of your wife?
Women, how halal is your source of income? How halal is the source of income of your husband?
News reaching me is that Muslims; conscious Muslims for that matter, as in, Al-sunnah for that matter, have become slaves to money by caring less how its gotten.
There's a new ponzi scheme in town. It's beautifully designed like trade such that our brethren don't want to accept that it's haram despite the explanation that it's haram.
I won't mention what ponzi scheme it is, but I'll advise everyone to beware of the deals that are not too clear, that are not explainable and that are not traceable.
Don't be deceived. Don't deceive yourself either. What is halal is glaring and what is haram is glaring no matter how its garbed in a garment of beauty.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “O people, Allah is purely good, and He only accepts what is purely good. Verily, Allah has commanded the believers as He has commanded His Messengers. Allah said: O Messengers, eat from wholesome foods and act righteously, for I know what you do (23:51). And Allah said: O you who believe, eat from wholesome food We have provided for you,” (2:172). Then, the Prophet mentioned a man who traveled far, becoming disheveled and dusty, and he raised his hands to the sky, saying, “O Lord! O Lord!” Yet his food is unlawful, his drink is unlawful, his clothing is unlawful, and he is nourished by the unlawful, so how can he be answered?"
Let's ponder over this Hadith. The enjoyment of this world is fleeting. May we not lose our Akhirah because of it.
May Allah grant us halal sustenance against all odds. Aamin.
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"A woman is like a glass vase. If you leave it, it will gather dust. If you press it too hard, it will crack or even break. If you take care of it, it will remain beautiful, but taking care of it requires patience and deep understanding. Be patient with your woman, and you will find her beauty at some point."
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Marriage has six stages,
But most couples give up at stage three.
Stage 1: The Honeymoon Stage....
In the honeymoon stage, everything feels easy.
You both try harder.
You forgive faster. You overlook flaws because you're still learning each other.
Love feels automatic because life hasn't tested you yet.
This is where everyone wants to stay.
Everything is new. Every touch is electric.
Every conversation feels like a discovery.
The hormones are flooding your system.
You feel like you've finally found what you've been looking for.
This stage is beautiful. But it is not real. It is nature's way of bonding you before reality sets in.
Stage 2: The Reality Stage
This is where the newness wears off.
The hormones settle.
You start to notice the things you overlooked.
He leaves his socks everywhere.
She needs more reassurance than you expected.
The conversations become less about dreams and more about logistics.
This stage is where many couples panic.
They think something has gone wrong.
Nothing has gone wrong.
You are just meeting the real person behind the chemistry.
This is where the real work begins.
Stage 3: The Disappointment Stage
This is the stage where most couples give up.
You realize your partner is not who you thought they were.
Or rather, they are not who you projected onto them.
The disappointment is real. The fantasy has died.
You may feel betrayed, even though no one betrayed you.
You may think you married the wrong person. You didn't.
You just met the real them.
The question is not whether they are perfect.
The question is whether you can love them as they are.
Stage 4: The Adjustment Stage
If you survive stage three, you enter adjustment.
This is where you stop trying to change each other and start learning to work with each other.
You negotiate. You compromise.
You learn what battles to fight and what to let go.
This stage is not romantic. It is practical.
But it is where real partnership is built.
You stop asking "why aren't you different?" and start asking "how can we make this work?"
Stage 5: The Companionship Stage
This is where the marriage becomes solid.
You know each other now.
The surprises are mostly gone, replaced by deep knowing.
You finish each other's sentences.
You know what the other needs before they ask.
This stage feels less exciting than the beginning, but it is richer.
The passion is quieter, but deeper.
You have become teammates who have survived battles together.
That bond is stronger than any honeymoon.
Stage 6: The Deep Love Stage
Few couples reach this stage.
This is where love becomes unconditional.
Not because you don't see each other's flaws, but because you have chosen to love through them.
This is the stage where you can be silent together and feel closer than when you talked.
Where you can fight and know the fight won't break you.
Where you have seen each other at your worst and still choose to stay.
This stage is not given. It is earned. Over years. Over tears. Over forgiveness.
And it is worth every hard stage that came before it.
But most couples give up at stage three.
Stage 1: The Honeymoon Stage....
In the honeymoon stage, everything feels easy.
You both try harder.
You forgive faster. You overlook flaws because you're still learning each other.
Love feels automatic because life hasn't tested you yet.
This is where everyone wants to stay.
Everything is new. Every touch is electric.
Every conversation feels like a discovery.
The hormones are flooding your system.
You feel like you've finally found what you've been looking for.
This stage is beautiful. But it is not real. It is nature's way of bonding you before reality sets in.
Stage 2: The Reality Stage
This is where the newness wears off.
The hormones settle.
You start to notice the things you overlooked.
He leaves his socks everywhere.
She needs more reassurance than you expected.
The conversations become less about dreams and more about logistics.
This stage is where many couples panic.
They think something has gone wrong.
Nothing has gone wrong.
You are just meeting the real person behind the chemistry.
This is where the real work begins.
Stage 3: The Disappointment Stage
This is the stage where most couples give up.
You realize your partner is not who you thought they were.
Or rather, they are not who you projected onto them.
The disappointment is real. The fantasy has died.
You may feel betrayed, even though no one betrayed you.
You may think you married the wrong person. You didn't.
You just met the real them.
The question is not whether they are perfect.
The question is whether you can love them as they are.
Stage 4: The Adjustment Stage
If you survive stage three, you enter adjustment.
This is where you stop trying to change each other and start learning to work with each other.
You negotiate. You compromise.
You learn what battles to fight and what to let go.
This stage is not romantic. It is practical.
But it is where real partnership is built.
You stop asking "why aren't you different?" and start asking "how can we make this work?"
Stage 5: The Companionship Stage
This is where the marriage becomes solid.
You know each other now.
The surprises are mostly gone, replaced by deep knowing.
You finish each other's sentences.
You know what the other needs before they ask.
This stage feels less exciting than the beginning, but it is richer.
The passion is quieter, but deeper.
You have become teammates who have survived battles together.
That bond is stronger than any honeymoon.
Stage 6: The Deep Love Stage
Few couples reach this stage.
This is where love becomes unconditional.
Not because you don't see each other's flaws, but because you have chosen to love through them.
This is the stage where you can be silent together and feel closer than when you talked.
Where you can fight and know the fight won't break you.
Where you have seen each other at your worst and still choose to stay.
This stage is not given. It is earned. Over years. Over tears. Over forgiveness.
And it is worth every hard stage that came before it.
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Ya Allah, we the unmarried, let us marry once and marry right.
Grant us good, diligent spouses and let us marry into noble families where we are genuinely loved and respected.
Protect us from the trials of marriage and grant us eternal calm in our home. ya Rabb🤲
Grant us good, diligent spouses and let us marry into noble families where we are genuinely loved and respected.
Protect us from the trials of marriage and grant us eternal calm in our home. ya Rabb🤲
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The Marriage with the Greatest Blessing is that with Lesser Financial Burden
Question:
What is your opinion of the large dowers and expensive parties and honeymoons that cost a great deal of money? Does the Shariah approve of such things?
Answer:
Having very expensive dowers and extravagant wedding parties is something that goes against the Shariah. The marriage which has the greatest blessing is the one with lesser financial burden. Any time the burdens are lessened, the blessings are increased.
This is a matter that is many times caused by women. Women are the ones that often insist upon their husbands to set very high dower [for their daughter]. If a lesser dower is offered, they will say their daughter is deserving of such and such. Furthermore, expensive and luxurious wedding parties are prohibited by the Shariah. They fall under the command of the verse.
”But be not extravagant. Verily, He loves not those who are extravagant ”
(Surah Al- Anam 7:141)
Again, many times it is the women who force their husbands to do such things. They say that so and so’s party they had this and that. However, such gatherings must be according to the Shariah .The person should not spend what is beyond his means. He must also never be extravagant for Allah has prohibited extravagance.
”Verily, He loves not those who are extravagant.”
(Surah Al- Anam 7:141)
Honeymoons are worse and even more evil. This is because they are an imitation of the non-Muslims. They are a waste of lots of wealth. It also leads to people being lax with respect to their religious duties when such honeymoons take place in non- Muslim areas. The people come back with customs and behaviour that are harmful for them and for the Muslim community. This is something that is to be feared for the Ummah. However there is no harm, Allah Willing, if a man travels with his wife to make Umrah or to visit Madinah.
— Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah)
[Islamic Fatawa Regarding Women - Darussalam Publishers, pp. 193-1]
Question:
What is your opinion of the large dowers and expensive parties and honeymoons that cost a great deal of money? Does the Shariah approve of such things?
Answer:
Having very expensive dowers and extravagant wedding parties is something that goes against the Shariah. The marriage which has the greatest blessing is the one with lesser financial burden. Any time the burdens are lessened, the blessings are increased.
This is a matter that is many times caused by women. Women are the ones that often insist upon their husbands to set very high dower [for their daughter]. If a lesser dower is offered, they will say their daughter is deserving of such and such. Furthermore, expensive and luxurious wedding parties are prohibited by the Shariah. They fall under the command of the verse.
”But be not extravagant. Verily, He loves not those who are extravagant ”
(Surah Al- Anam 7:141)
Again, many times it is the women who force their husbands to do such things. They say that so and so’s party they had this and that. However, such gatherings must be according to the Shariah .The person should not spend what is beyond his means. He must also never be extravagant for Allah has prohibited extravagance.
”Verily, He loves not those who are extravagant.”
(Surah Al- Anam 7:141)
Honeymoons are worse and even more evil. This is because they are an imitation of the non-Muslims. They are a waste of lots of wealth. It also leads to people being lax with respect to their religious duties when such honeymoons take place in non- Muslim areas. The people come back with customs and behaviour that are harmful for them and for the Muslim community. This is something that is to be feared for the Ummah. However there is no harm, Allah Willing, if a man travels with his wife to make Umrah or to visit Madinah.
— Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah)
[Islamic Fatawa Regarding Women - Darussalam Publishers, pp. 193-1]
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*Al-Husayn ◌ؓ said:*
The Prophet ﷺ asked a lady, “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.”
He ﷺ said, “How are you with him?” She said, “I do not fall short in serving him, except in what I am unable to do.”
He ﷺ said, “Then pay attention to how you are with him, for he is your Paradise or your Hell.”
📚 Sahih al-Jami‘ 1509
The Prophet ﷺ asked a lady, “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.”
He ﷺ said, “How are you with him?” She said, “I do not fall short in serving him, except in what I am unable to do.”
He ﷺ said, “Then pay attention to how you are with him, for he is your Paradise or your Hell.”
📚 Sahih al-Jami‘ 1509
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Eid Ul Adha and the abuse of Desi men..
Can we talk about the abuse and exploitation many Desi Muslim women experience during Eid Ul Adha?
For countless women, Eid is not joy, rest, spirituality, or family bonding. It is anxiety, exhaustion, and nonstop labour. While everyone celebrates, women are expected to carry the entire emotional and physical burden of the day.
The men are angry, emotional, and unhinged because the butcher is late, the qurbani is delayed, or food is not ready fast enough. Once the sacrifice is done, suddenly the whole house revolves around meat. The same men who speak passionately about sacrifice, sabr, leadership, and jihad cannot tolerate waiting a few extra minutes for kaleji, gurda and hot parathas.
Meanwhile, the women are expected to do everything.
▪️Clean the blood and mess.
▪️Wash and sort the meat.
▪️Package portions for relatives and the poor.
▪️Manage guests.
▪️Cook breakfast.
▪️Prepare chai.
▪️Start marinating for biryani.
▪️Then the next day it begins again with chakna, nahari, kebabs, and endless hosting...
And none of this labour is seen as labour.
Everyone benefits from the unpaid work of Muslim women during Eid. The men get to “perform qurbani.” The extended family gets their meat delivered and packaged neatly. Guests are welcomed into clean homes with hot food. Children enjoy Eid because their mothers exhausted themselves making it feel like Eid.
But who takes care of the women?
Who asks whether they prayed Eid peacefully?
Who asks whether they had time for dhikr?
Who notices that many women spend the entire day standing in kitchens instead of remembering Allah?
The tragedy is that ibadah gets replaced by chaos, shouting, emotional abuse, and obsession with consumption.
True qawwam are not men who bark orders while women run around serving them. True qawwam make things easier for the women in their homes. They help clean. They distribute meat. They comfort stressed family members. They are emotionally regulated. They joke, lighten the mood, assist quietly, and show rahma.
The Prophet ﷺ mended his own clothes and helped his family at home. Yet some Muslim men today cannot even carry meat bags or serve guests without acting oppressed.
If you are a hangry man on Eid, fear Allah. Eat what is available. Stop rushing the women of your home. Stop treating them like unpaid domestic staff whose exhaustion is invisible.
Muslim women are not machines created to absorb everyone’s stress while receiving none of the mercy Islam commands.
🤲 May Allah guide the men of this Ummah, place rahma in our homes, and protect Muslim women from emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. Ameen.
Can we talk about the abuse and exploitation many Desi Muslim women experience during Eid Ul Adha?
For countless women, Eid is not joy, rest, spirituality, or family bonding. It is anxiety, exhaustion, and nonstop labour. While everyone celebrates, women are expected to carry the entire emotional and physical burden of the day.
The men are angry, emotional, and unhinged because the butcher is late, the qurbani is delayed, or food is not ready fast enough. Once the sacrifice is done, suddenly the whole house revolves around meat. The same men who speak passionately about sacrifice, sabr, leadership, and jihad cannot tolerate waiting a few extra minutes for kaleji, gurda and hot parathas.
Meanwhile, the women are expected to do everything.
▪️Clean the blood and mess.
▪️Wash and sort the meat.
▪️Package portions for relatives and the poor.
▪️Manage guests.
▪️Cook breakfast.
▪️Prepare chai.
▪️Start marinating for biryani.
▪️Then the next day it begins again with chakna, nahari, kebabs, and endless hosting...
And none of this labour is seen as labour.
Everyone benefits from the unpaid work of Muslim women during Eid. The men get to “perform qurbani.” The extended family gets their meat delivered and packaged neatly. Guests are welcomed into clean homes with hot food. Children enjoy Eid because their mothers exhausted themselves making it feel like Eid.
But who takes care of the women?
Who asks whether they prayed Eid peacefully?
Who asks whether they had time for dhikr?
Who notices that many women spend the entire day standing in kitchens instead of remembering Allah?
The tragedy is that ibadah gets replaced by chaos, shouting, emotional abuse, and obsession with consumption.
True qawwam are not men who bark orders while women run around serving them. True qawwam make things easier for the women in their homes. They help clean. They distribute meat. They comfort stressed family members. They are emotionally regulated. They joke, lighten the mood, assist quietly, and show rahma.
The Prophet ﷺ mended his own clothes and helped his family at home. Yet some Muslim men today cannot even carry meat bags or serve guests without acting oppressed.
If you are a hangry man on Eid, fear Allah. Eat what is available. Stop rushing the women of your home. Stop treating them like unpaid domestic staff whose exhaustion is invisible.
Muslim women are not machines created to absorb everyone’s stress while receiving none of the mercy Islam commands.
🤲 May Allah guide the men of this Ummah, place rahma in our homes, and protect Muslim women from emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. Ameen.
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🔴 MUSLIM WOMEN COMPLAIN THERE ARE NO GOOD MEN—BUT LOOK AT YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR 🔴
Every day, sisters say:
❌ “There are no good men left.”
❌ “All the brothers are weak and useless.”
❌ “I can’t find a man who prays and fears Allah.”
But let’s be real—is the problem really the men, or are your standards based on dunya instead of deen?
• You reject pious, hardworking men because they don’t have a six-figure salary.
• You ignore brothers with good character because they don’t have designer clothes and a luxury car.
• You want a man who will provide and lead—but you refuse to accept a man who expects obedience and modesty.
What exactly are you looking for? A righteous man, or a rich, good-looking celebrity?
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. Choose the one with religion, may your hands be rubbed with dust.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
Now let’s flip it—if a brother judged you by the same dunya-based standards, would you pass?
• Are you a woman who fears Allah and obeys Him in everything?
• Are you a woman who dresses modestly, avoids fitnah, and protects her honor?
• Are you a woman who values marriage as a responsibility, not a fantasy?
Because let’s be honest—many sisters today want to be treated like princesses while refusing to be righteous wives.
If you want a husband with Taqwa, loyalty, and leadership—start by being a wife with Taqwa, loyalty, and obedience.
Good men exist. The question is, are you the kind of woman they would want to marry?
Every day, sisters say:
❌ “There are no good men left.”
❌ “All the brothers are weak and useless.”
❌ “I can’t find a man who prays and fears Allah.”
But let’s be real—is the problem really the men, or are your standards based on dunya instead of deen?
• You reject pious, hardworking men because they don’t have a six-figure salary.
• You ignore brothers with good character because they don’t have designer clothes and a luxury car.
• You want a man who will provide and lead—but you refuse to accept a man who expects obedience and modesty.
What exactly are you looking for? A righteous man, or a rich, good-looking celebrity?
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. Choose the one with religion, may your hands be rubbed with dust.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
Now let’s flip it—if a brother judged you by the same dunya-based standards, would you pass?
• Are you a woman who fears Allah and obeys Him in everything?
• Are you a woman who dresses modestly, avoids fitnah, and protects her honor?
• Are you a woman who values marriage as a responsibility, not a fantasy?
Because let’s be honest—many sisters today want to be treated like princesses while refusing to be righteous wives.
If you want a husband with Taqwa, loyalty, and leadership—start by being a wife with Taqwa, loyalty, and obedience.
Good men exist. The question is, are you the kind of woman they would want to marry?
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