I’ve been in a relationship with this woman for a year who I thought was supposed to be the love of my life. We’ve been through so much together. We’ve met each other’s families and I thought everything was going great. We spend almost every day together and there’s never a dull moment. We have so much fun together! We’re even supposed to go on a 2-week vacation abroad to Mexico here in a few days. The problem is that out of curiosity, I went through her Snapchat after I saw the name of a man pop up on her lock screen. She said he was just a friend, which I had no problem believing. I never caught her lying to me before. We’re open about or phones and know each other’s passwords so I figured it’d be okay. While she was in the shower, I looked through her chats lists without clicking on the chats until I saw a chat from a man that she had muted from back in February. The chat from the guy that popped up on her screen was actually platonic with nothing alarming. For the record, February was 3 months after we became official. I clicked on it and immediately saw that they had exchanged nudes. Mostly before her and I ever began dating. She hasn’t talked to the guy since February. The last and most recent one she sent in February was a picture of her nude showing off a tattoo. So I’m freaking out a little now. I don’t know what to do. On one hand, I feel like this may be salvageable, and I truly do want to have a life with her and marry her. I’m just so hurt. This trip is also a once in a lifetime opportunity for me and I just love her family as well. Can we get past this? How can I best confront her? I kinda want to wait until after the trip to do so.

He's my first relationship and first boyfriend, and I am super inexperienced as in I didnt even know what a penis looked like until his.

Tried a hand job once upon a time, eventually we just stopped and kissed instead. Now this time I got lubricant because I thought that would help me and I genuinely thought that would work. It didnt.

He's really nice and sweet, and he diesng make me feel bad about it. But I feel terrible. We had a nice time and I put on a brave face, but I went home and cried.

The problem is that I need to be able to do this because I dont think I can fit him in my mouth. Like I dont think I can open uo wide enough and if I cant give him a hj then a bj wont work either.

But Im not rrady for sex. So I have no way of making him happy.

I really love him. But I dont know if this means I will have to break up with him, or he will eventually break up with me. What are the next steps? Sexuality is a big part of a relationship, so does this end it? Or do we keep going? I genuinely dont know how our relationship moves forward. Im scared that Im wasting his time

I (20TM) don't like sex it doesn't feel good and it never has no matter who I've been with, I do initiate it almost all the time because I know my boyfriend (20M) likes it and it's nice to know and be the cause of someone enjoying themselves. We've been dating for 3 months ish

Sex feels emotionally close to getting to see someone enjoy the food I made, It can be fun especially more kinky stuff but I get zero sexual pleasure.

He's said multiple times "I feel bad that I'm getting all the action" but idk what to do about that, he's given me head before and all I can think about is "wow this is really fucking gross I hate it", I don't enjoy fucking him cus my hips get tired, it doesn't feel good cus I use a strap, and because it goes on for so long I just get bored. I love seeing him feel good but we go at it for multiple hours the dudes sex drive is exhausting and I get zeros sexual relief so it's like a workout with a nice show except I can't take a break.

There are things that I enjoy having done to me but I feel like it would be so cringe for me during sex to be like "it would be nice if you like pat my head and touch my butt a little" I would rather rip off my face cus it's such a stupid fucking thing to ask for and it feels like I'm begging him I feel so fucking gross and pathetic when I verbally ask for anything , it also wouldn't fix sex not feeling good because it's just little actions that he'd do once and never again and I'm sure as hell not going to beg multiple times

I don't want to stop having sex with him cus he really likes it and I like seeing him happy

I need some kind of mental how to power through sex advice or how to make sex feel good when you'd rather be watching a YouTube video?

We are in good standing, i dunno but my instincts say…
Since we started dating, our intimacy routine was never questioned.
She could initiate it 3-4times a week. I could also do same.
This time she’s changes, idk 🤷. She now feels reluctant, sluggish and unconcerned, so now i am the one who initiates… this got me thinking that, has she lost interest?? Or she’s found someone else. Just so you know, she merges in when the activity is in place, and it ends well.
But the initiation is what matters to me.
We spoke this over time to time but no improvement.
I want to study and know her better too but… What bothers me is that “What does it mean when your girlfriend starts putting up boundaries on sexual pleasures.
And how should I go about it. Brutal honesty is what i in your opinions.

Me (30F) and my partner (29M) have been dating for about a year. In that time, it has been a stressful year on both of us and we were doing long distance from Nov until September (him living an hour away, seeing me on the weekends, extra days, then him leaving over the summer on his internship and flying up a couple of times to visit me).

The sex at first was phenomenal. He was so caring, passionate, and felt loving. Even if I talked about sex with him he would correct me that it was more love-making thsn just sex (sorry if TMI lol), clearly there was a connection. We would do some wild stuff, and he would always finish and made sure I finished quickly, too.

Since coming back home, we ended up moving in together about an hour away. Even on his couple of summer visits I noticed he either didn't want to have sex with me, or couldn't stay hard with me, and I questioned him about it. He told me many years ago he had a messed up surgery in the military near his genitals and said it 'messed him up,' which I assumed means he has ED. When we had great sex, he had cock rings and was taking these things called honey packs?

Now, I can hardly get him to kiss me. I am lucky if we have sex once a week and, if we do, he goes soft with me. But what's weird is that any time he jerks off, he can finish himself off just fine in under a minute. I am not new to sex or anything, and don't consider myself bad in bed or unsexy by any means. But I have voiced to him several times that it makes me feel less desirable knowing that I can't finish him off anymore like I used to, and he would rather jerk off than have me do anything at all. I'm just like something to look st now while he does it alone instead, which takes away all romance and connection for me. It's hard being in the middle of something that feels phenomenal to me, only to have to abruptly stop because he went soft. I feel kind of shameful, and it makes me wonder that maybe it would be different if I had more of a pornstar body, or knew how to do like hotter moves. Every time we try something new, I enjoy it, but then he goes soft again.

Are there any tips you guys can give me? Is it maybe something about my appearance, or maybe I'm not trying enough different things with him? I am always super into it, and also may think that maybe me being too into it turns him off or something. We've talked about it, but it's always the same answer. Yet I'm getting a different outcome than months ago?

Sorry if this sounds stupid. I really adore him and just want help. I might be overthinking things, but sex is a really important connection to me, and I feel less valued to him now.

EDITED TO ADD because I was embarrassed to say: I am also 14 weeks pregnant with his child. The idea of us being sexually incompatible now sounds terrifying. I would if possible rather find solutions for this.

i am so sad right now i don’t even know what to say
i’m a level 200 student at uenr
in my first year i fell deeply in love with a girl from my hostel and even lost my virginity to her
she never asked for money and although she was secretive and suspicious at times i overlooked it
sparing you all the details, i have bipolar disorder and sometimes under extreme stress or depression i get manic attacks
she once left her phone unlocked and i saw a number saved “daddy” saying he has sent the money he added “babe”
i went through their texts and realized i had been a fool
aside him there were about 2 more boys she was sleeping with and i just lost it and got a seizure right there and then

only then did her close friend who knew this all along advise me that she only liked me for the attention she got from me

i know the comments will be full of insults and i rightfully deserve them, especially because i know deep down i still love this girl

stress at home as well as the first born is eating me up, i’m grateful my cgpa hasn’t been affected but for how long

i only ask that alongside the insults you give me advice as well because i’m depressed and quiet, i can’t sleep or learn and i’m a mess
please help a brother

We’ve been together for 19 months and things are generally great between us. We’ve actually been talking about getting married in the next year or so. It’s definitely the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been a part of.

When we first started dating, we would have sex every time we saw each other, multiple times a day. Granted, we would see each other only about once a week. Then a few months into our relationship, we started living together. Sex was pretty constant then, too. 2-3x a day, 5-7 days a week. Gradually, it turned into once a day, then eventually 4 times a week. I would say I initiate 80% of the time. Currently we’re living apart again because of work. But towards the end of our living together, I would almost always initiate and most of the time he would say no.

I would ask him why he almost always says no, and he would say that he doesn’t know, or that he’s stressed from work.

Now that we’re apart, we see each other twice a week. We almost always have sex when we’re together and he initiates a lot of the times. And the sex is the best it’s ever been since we started dating. But now, something else feels off. Whenever I flirt with him on the phone or make sexual jokes flirtatiously, he ignores me, or says “okay” in a sarcastic/flat tone. I opened up to him once that flirting over the phone my way of letting him know I still think about him sexually even when we’re apart, and that I would feel more sexually desired if he did the same, especially now that we’re apart. A day that conversation, he did try his best to flirt and be more sexual towards me over the phone, but after that day, he just went back to normal.

I recognize that I am a very sexual person and always in the mood for sex, and that he perhaps is not. I am also very verbal when it comes to sex and he might just not be. My issue is that this is genuinely discouraging me from expressing my sexual desire for him, and at times I even feel humiliated because of how he responds. I’ve opened this up multiple times to him, and he’s even expressed some fear that I might eventually break up with him because I would realize down the line that we’re too sexually incompatible. Are we? How do I navigate this incompatibility so that I don’t pressure him into having more sex with me or being more sexually expressive when he doesn’t want to, while still letting him know that this is a dealbreaker to me? I love this person very much and would definitely want to work this issue out. Please help.

So,this happed today me and my frnd (f) both are 25 and we are really chill,used to talk everything without any cover we don't actually care about any topic even sexual topic. Today I got a dm from her insta "I'll show you something, send a hii on WhatsApp" it was the first time i got a formal msg from her and same time i was confused and ik something is coming. I messaged her on WhatsApp and she send an image (once) and it was her naked upper body. I was confused for a moment, actually she send it to me to show a hickey on her body and it was btwn biceps and joint of shoulder. Now tell me what's going on here if she wants to show me that hickey why she send "naked upper body". Is it turning or she is taking initiative on fwb? I replied her like " i think this is going to be a fwb relationship"

So, we’ve been together 4 months. When we got together, he mentioned he had a porn/Sex addiction he was working on. I understood and was willing to help him with through that.

Welll, fast forward to now and he says he feels great about his current status with all of that. He spend 99% of our time around each other (I am finishing my degree online and he works sporadically as a painter) so I know he isn’t sneaking off to watch porn or hiding it, I’m not worried about that.

I’m more worried that I have a pretty high sex drive and I kinda thought the biggest hurdle was going to be keeping him interested and death grip. Basically to have sex I have to do all the initiation, he doesn’t touch me back very much, it’s pretty much get him hard, blow him, kiss, and stick it in. I thought for awhile while we were dealing with the ED stuff this was just for the moment, to get comfortable.

I just feel like he doesn’t want me at all, it hasn’t been that much time at all, I know that. But if he’s saying he’s good on all that but isn’t interested? I don’t understand. I want to lower my sex drive.

I’ve tried talking about all of this but he just shuts down and is like “I do want you” but doesn’t show it? Is there a better way to approach this? What am I doing incorrectly? I’m trying to patient, I’m trying to talk. He asked me for “non sexual cuddles” and I’m confused by that too, saying I make things too sexual but I’m not sure what he means by that? Cause I like to snuggle to naked?

I kinda thought he would be a bit more interactive and want me. He tells me how beautiful I am all the time but it doesn’t seem like he really means it when his actions aren’t lining up.

I don’t want to keep bringing it up and bringing it up on a loop. I want to find a way to meet him halfway and help him feel comfortable. I’m just at a total loss. A lot of my self worth is caught up in sexual stuff which I know isn’t the best thing but I was just hoping, if he isn’t watching the porn and death gripping that I would be available to meet that need but no.

I don’t know. I love him and I love my body but he makes me feel like I shouldn’t.

The wife and I separated and divorced about a year ago. I got married too young and we grew apart. During the first couple years, we had good sex and often. And then there was a dry spell of many years where she was busy with work and I fell out of love. So I left to find somebody who I could have a more normal relationship with. Not a celibate relationship like I had with the wife. I got a long term girlfriend who doesn’t know what I’m about to tell you.

Part of the divorce deal was the ex stays in the house with my name still on the title and she pays. So I have to go over there on occasion to check on the house and pick up mail that still comes to me there.
She was older than me and has entered menopause and discovered that she actually wants sex again. I am younger and I’m trying to complete grad school, but I’m running out of money. I made a comment the other day that I could use some financial help considering how much of she’s getting from me in the divorce. And she said “then help me out too“.

I I laughed and she said she was serious and that it’s been a while since she had sex and if I helped her then she would help me. We haven’t had sex in over 10 years. So it was awkward, and I realized that this wasn’t about me at all. This was about getting her off. After I went down on her that day, she transferred $1000 over to my account so I could pay for my classes. Since then, I’ve gone over there whenever I need money or she asks me to “check the mail”.
It’s never about me, I am there to serve her. It’s mostly me going down on her which I always liked doing. Occasionally she will ride me like a living dildo until she finishes. Basically she’s just using me to masturbate and get off. And when she’s done with me, she’s done. It’s never about me getting off. She will watch me finish myself off in the shower while she pees afterwards.
I am literally sleeping my way through grad school. It’s better than a second job, but I still feel kind of dirty about it.
If my girlfriend found out about it, I would lose her. I’m a year away from graduation so I can’t stop with the funding. I don’t use condoms for either girl. Because the ex-wife is post menopausal and the girlfriend has had a hysterectomy. So me using a condom would be suspicious.
I sometimes don’t have enough in my tank to take care of the girlfriend so I go down on her a lot also. She thinks the reason I can’t get hard enough for her is because of stress from school.
So that’s my confession.

So,I invited my childhood best friend to come work for me on a vessel so he can raise money for his uni fees, since I’m a supervisor.The chief officer started ranting in the ship officer that one of us has stolen his laptop cordless mouse.To be honest,I was super surprised coz I’ve worked for over 4 years in several ships and not even for once has such theft thing happened.I day later,I decided to go get soap from my friends back only for me to find a laptop mouse pad in his bag.I’m flabbergasted and gutted at the same time coz I find no reason why there should be mouse pad in his bag since he doesn’t even own a laptop or whatsoever.Now my question is,how do I go about it?
Should I confront him and ask him why he stole it or I should take it from his bag and send it to the office coz the chief wants me to buy him a new one.

I need advice from people who have experienced something similar. My younger brother has been unemployed for almost two years and recently asked to come and stay with me in Accra while he looks for work. I agreed because I felt he needed support, especially since we grew up together after losing our father.

The problem is that he has now been staying with me for 8 months and has made no serious effort to find a job. He wakes up late, spends most of his time on his phone and expects me to provide everything. Whenever I try to talk to him, he gets offended and reminds me that we are family.

I feel bad asking him to leave because I know he is struggling, but I’m beginning to feel like I’m raising another child. How do I handle this without destroying my relationship with my brother? Would you give him more time or ask him to move out?

If men and women are equal ,why does everyone expect more from men?

NO TITLE
PART ONE

So there’s this guy i met in the area where my hostel is who told me he was new in the area that he wanted to be friends since he didn’t really have any there. Let’s call him fish.
We exchanged contacts and all i had in mind was to get to my hostel and block him cos i wasn’t interested in any long talks introducing myself over text to anyone. Unfortunately for me i forgot to block the contact and fish called me the next day evening that i should meet him at the spot we met earlier. I was hesitant but chalet, boredom was killing me at the hostel cos i was left alone.

We met and he took me to an apartment owned by his very close friend ( lets call him Fred ) and he was playing game with Kofi when we arrived then he introduced me as his friend. The two left the hall for us to talk then fish told me he wasn’t a fun of talking much or holding conversations so he started teaching me how to play soccer video game will asking minor personal questions. Fast forward we started talking from time to time and one time he invited me for a sleepover.

I was comfortable going because i was allowed to being my friend along and i was growing fond of him already. Mind you he had proposed relationship to me earlier which i turned him down and told him i had a boyfriend. ( a boyfriend who had reconciled with his baby mama and i was trying to detach and leave. )

So the sleep over night, he was just all over me and it was the first time he’d gotten that close. I changed into my night wear, laid down and he came to lay on top of me with his head on one of my boobs. I don’t know what that feeling was but it sure felt undescribable. He then kissed me! I was not even a fun of kissing cos the idea of exchanging saliva disgusted me but i LOVED that particular one.

Before i realized his fingers were inside me and he was sucking my boobs, felt soooo niceeee…… he was proceeding to lick me up then i stopped him cos i didn’t want any pH issue and infections. He didn’t feel shy, he just told me i was smelling nice, kissed me again for God knows how long…. We fell asleep, woke up the next day and i was greeted by my period, luckily for me i hadn’t stained the sheets.

NO TITLE
PART TWO

So i had to tell him i stained myself and he dashed right out to get me pad and i was so touched. That day my cramps was just unbearable and he got me pain meds and laid beside me, rubbing his hands on my abdomen and if felt so nice, no one had ever treated me that way on my period. So my perception about “guys” was gradually changing with him and i was willing to get to know him better.

Later in the after my friend and i had to leave because i couldn’t be changing pads in someone’s house. Two days later, he reminded me of the proposal again and i asked if he had no problem that I’m still in a relationship and he told me, he’s already attached and there’s nothing he can do now. Knowing well that relationship was already in the air, i accepted fish and things got nicer after then.

Mind you fish had told me he was scared of ladies cos of what his ex did to him and that he even barely had female friends which low-key excited me cos chalet I’m a very jealous person. Fast forward my period ended and he the next time he was in the area we met again and just like that another sleepover was made possible.

That evening, i cooked for myself and three of the boys and after everything, we were left alone again. Well that night we didn’t just kiss, we fucked too!
He cum way too fast unfortunately which pissed me off. We started talking about ourselves and around 11pm, i was horny again, not knowing we was so hard. I started touching him down there while he was kissing me, touching, sucking and chalet everything some oo, i was literally the horniest I’d ever been in my entire life and the sex….???!!! Literally the best.
At dawn, i woke up and it already inside me, i was literally weak by day break cos my body was hurting from all the styles chale.

Things became intense and we started fucking every now and then, unless we don’t we’re not alone. Mind you i wasn’t even the fuck person cos i usually felt dry and abdominal pains but this one
Was so different. Cos he doesn’t force me, he just gets me in the mood and we’re good to go
And man all this happening i literally became obsessed with fish before i could realize.

He was a student so exam week approached but he could still come over for us to fuck and leave hours to his paper then come later afterward then we fuck again, i became a pornstar guys and it was literally all i could be fantasizing about even in class but one thing is it never affected my gpa tho.

Then came the day he vacated and had to go home and i was so saddd, he fucked before he left anyway. He promised we’d be in contact everyday, every minute and every second. Even before that, my obsession and curiosity led me to check his phone and he was talking to someone else and he said it was someone he was flirting with before meeting me and even blocked in front of me ooo, lets call the other girl Rita.
So during the first two weeks at home communication was good and by then my roomies already knew him as my man ooo cos chale, i shut the whole room down to talk to himmm.. My loves.

I NEED HONEST RELATIONSHIP ADVICE. PLEASE READ BEFORE JUDGING ME.
I honestly don’t know where to begin, but I need advice from people who may have experienced something similar. I am emotionally exhausted, hurt and disappointed, and I need an outside perspective.
First, I am a single mother of a beautiful four-year-old daughter. Being a mother comes with responsibilities, and I have had to be strong even on days when I am emotionally broken. I am not looking for someone to replace my child’s father or take responsibility for my child. I simply wanted a genuine relationship where I could also feel loved, respected and appreciated.
This relationship started in 2023. When I met this man, he wasn’t working. However, because I was genuinely interested in him and believed in what we could build together, I offered to help him travel to Dubai to work. I believed that if he started working, it would be good for his future and our relationship.
People advised me from every direction not to help him. Some strongly discouraged me, but I ignored those warnings because I believed in him. I went ahead and helped him because I wanted to see him succeed. I thought we were building a future together.
Unfortunately, things changed after he travelled.
He reconnected with his SHS crush, a lady he had previously told me so many things about. He had even assured me that he would never have anything to do with her. I encouraged him to open a TikTok account, only for him to reconnect with this same lady there. They started entertaining each other while I gradually lost his attention.
Our conversations became shorter. He no longer made time for me, and every little misunderstanding turned into an opportunity for him to insult me.
Whenever he started insulting me, I would block him, not necessarily because I wanted to end the relationship, but because I wanted to calm the situation and prevent things from escalating. After some time, when I had cooled down, I would unblock him, hoping we could communicate peacefully and resolve whatever issue we had. Unfortunately, the cycle kept repeating. I kept trying to find ways to maintain peace while the insults continued.
One day, he posted this lady on her birthday. I asked him who she was, and that question became another reason to insult me. I became suspicious and eventually went home to make enquiries as an Ewe lady. That was when I discovered that there was another woman in the picture.
I was completely broken. Despite what I had discovered, I decided to give the situation time because I still loved him and wanted to believe things could work out.
The insults continued for weeks and months. Gradually, I began to feel that perhaps I was never the woman he genuinely wanted. Perhaps he was more interested in what I could do for him than in loving me.
Things became so difficult that I eventually went to meet his parents to explain everything. I went with a friend who could translate because I cannot speak Twi, and I wasn’t sure his parents would fully understand my English.
I don’t know exactly how everything was communicated to him afterwards, but things escalated. He believed his parents’ version of events and never seemed willing to believe mine. I felt completely misunderstood and abandoned.
The emotional stress became unbearable. I cried endlessly, struggled to sleep and became so frustrated that even my physical appearance changed. I started looking sick and weak because of the sleepless nights and constant crying.
Despite everything I had experienced in my previous relationships, I still believed that not all men were the same. I gave this relationship another chance because I wanted to experience something different.
Then came September 14.
We had issues around that period, and communication practically stopped. September 23 was my birthday. He knew it was my birthday, but he never called or sent me a message. Not even a simple happy birthday.

It has now been two months since my birthday, and he has never made an effort to acknowledge it or reach out to resolve things.
What makes it even more painful is that, even though he is in Dubai, I have always made an effort to celebrate him. Every year on his birthday, I make sure I arrange a gift for him back home. Distance has never stopped me from making him feel special.
But when it was my turn, I received nothing.
Instead of reaching out, he has been active on social media, posting and reposting things that seem intended to throw shades at me and humiliate me. Some of the things he posts touch on my private life, my motherhood and my dignity.
After two good years of loyalty, sacrifice and standing by him, he still questioned my dignity and loyalty. That is one of the things that hurts me the most.
I never judged him for not having a job when we met. I saw potential in him and supported him. I never made him feel less of a man because of his circumstances.
I even told him that if there was anything about me he didn’t like, or if he felt the relationship wasn’t going to help him, he should walk away. He shouldn’t wait until I had invested so much emotionally and otherwise before telling me that I had done this or that, or that he had been treating me a certain way because of how things were when he was still in Ghana.
He said okay.
But his actions have made me believe that perhaps he has found someone he considers better, someone he wants to keep and protect, while I have become someone he can disrespect without consequences.
I am beginning to accept that possibility, even though it hurts.
There is something else I need to confess.
This is not the first time I have helped a man build himself, only to find myself heartbroken afterwards. He is the third man I have invested in, supported and helped to build, yet I never seem to enjoy the fruits of what I sow.
I have started regretting ever helping a man. It makes me question whether my kindness, support and willingness to see someone succeed have become the very things people take advantage of.
I am not saying I am perfect. I have my faults, and I am willing to accept them. But I don’t believe anyone deserves continuous verbal abuse, humiliation, emotional neglect and accusations simply because they made mistakes in a relationship.
At this point, I am so angry that sometimes I feel like I don’t even want to forgive him. I feel like cursing him and handing everything over to my ancestors because I feel deeply betrayed. I know these feelings are coming from a place of pain, but I am struggling with the anger.
MY QUESTIONS TO YOU:
Was I foolish for helping a man who had nothing because I believed in his potential?
After two months of silence, no birthday wishes and continued social media humiliation, should I still expect an apology or closure?
Am I wrong for feeling that I don’t want to forgive him?
Most importantly, AM I WRONG FOR WANTING REVENGE? Sometimes I feel like handing him over to my ancestors because I want him to experience the pain he has put me through. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
I am not asking anyone to insult him. I am not even looking for people to tell me I am perfect. I just want honest opinions.
I am a single mother who genuinely wanted to build a future with someone. I supported him when he wasn’t working, believed in him when others advised me against it, stood by him and remained loyal.
I never expected perfection. I only wanted love, respect, honesty and appreciation.
Now I am left wondering whether I was loved at all or whether I was simply useful until I had nothing more to offer.
PLEASE, I NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE. I AM TIRED OF CARRYING THIS PAIN ALONE.