An American, a Frenchman and a Russian bet who has the strongest alcohol.

An American, a Brit and a Russian bet who has the strongest alcohol. First goes the Frenchman, who takes a big gulp of his red wine. The other two men place a chair in front of him and ask the man "How many chairs do you see?" The drunk Frenchman responds "I see two chairs." Next goes the American. He takes a shot of whiskey and when asked about the chairs, he responds "I see 4!" And finally, when it's the Russian's turn, he without hesitation drinks a whole bottle of vodka. "So? Tell us, how many chairs are there?!" impatiently asks the Frenchman. "In which row?"

#russians
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Sadly, my friend from Russia was divorcing his spouse. They were married in their home country long time ago.
I tried to console him by saying, “Not all Soviet Unions were meant to last!”

#wordpplay
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I didn't know that Sylvester Stallone is on his third marriage...
I guess his first one was rocky, and his second was rocky too.

#wordplay
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If a transformer adopted a human baby, what would the baby's name be?
Carson

#wordplay
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Last night I had to make the difficult decision on behalf of my wife to pull the plug.
Then she’s all like, “HEY! I wasn’t done with my bath!”

#wordplay
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How many narcissists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They use gas lighting

#wordplay
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What’s the difference between a casual dinner party and a pirate orgy?
In one you come as you are in the other you ARRRR as you cum.

#wordplay
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What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
One looks up the family tree, the other looks up the family bush.

#wordplay
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Why was Heisenberg’s wife always sad?
Because when he had the position, he didn’t have the momentum, and when he had the momentum, he didn’t have the position.

#other
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The secret to making Congress more efficient is to replace all the people with horses.

Sure, every vote would end in “neighs,” but hay, at least the housing market would be stable.

#wordplay
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What do you call a stolen Tesla?
An Edison

#oldbutgold
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When my wife is sad I let her color in my tattoos.
I give her a shoulder to crayon.

#wordplay
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The prostitute put on her clothes and said…
“It was a business doing pleasure with you.”

#wordplay
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I have a disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes.
My doctor says it’s terminal.

#wordplay
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I like my women like I like a Boeing 737 MAX
More likely to go down on me

#sexandshit
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Why is Dwayne Johnson the only man that can turn lesbians?
Because Rock beats scissors.

#wordplay
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Did you hear about the italian who broke both of his arms?
he couldn't talk for a whole month.

#other
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Why are balloons so expensive?
Inflation.

#wordplay
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My Tinder bio says very honestly that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, that I drive a $500k vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel...
My dates are usually furious, though, when they discover I'm a bus driver.

#other
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At his wedding, my buddy told me that I’m the worst best man he has ever seen.
I…was speechless.

#wordplay
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