Only serious men are getting married against many odds, for different great reasons to be married and start a family of their own.
'Unserious' men don't have any reason to;
The process of getting married is hard.
Maintaining marriage now is also difficult and expensive.
They order sex now like random goods of different varieties (OS).
Some even get low budget and exclusive packages in the name of committed relationships and affairs - with the option of opting out anytime they're tired of it.
A lot of ladies are stuck in some situationships; situationship so close they do pelvic meet and greet regularly, yet, the lady is scared to ask a simple question; "where is this leading, or when are we getting married?" One, to not appear to be desperate, and also, because that alone can trigger the boy to feign anger of lack of understanding of his situation or whatever, and end the long term commitment, with the lady left to pick up and start again - probably with another hit and run 'unserious' boy.
Block the channel of fornication in any society, and see how family values are revived to a large extent. There are many reasons for their falling apart, but "sex na water" tradition is arguably the biggest.
And in the end, women are the biggest losers.
'Unserious' men don't have any reason to;
The process of getting married is hard.
Maintaining marriage now is also difficult and expensive.
They order sex now like random goods of different varieties (OS).
Some even get low budget and exclusive packages in the name of committed relationships and affairs - with the option of opting out anytime they're tired of it.
A lot of ladies are stuck in some situationships; situationship so close they do pelvic meet and greet regularly, yet, the lady is scared to ask a simple question; "where is this leading, or when are we getting married?" One, to not appear to be desperate, and also, because that alone can trigger the boy to feign anger of lack of understanding of his situation or whatever, and end the long term commitment, with the lady left to pick up and start again - probably with another hit and run 'unserious' boy.
Block the channel of fornication in any society, and see how family values are revived to a large extent. There are many reasons for their falling apart, but "sex na water" tradition is arguably the biggest.
And in the end, women are the biggest losers.
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It’s a big test for a woman to stop plucking her eyebrows, May Allaah reward those who have stopped this cursed act for the sake of Allaah.
"The Prophet cursed the woman who plucks eyebrows and the one who has her eyebrows plucked; the woman who extends hair and has her hair extended; and the woman who tattoos and has herself tattooed."
Reported by Imaam Al-Bukhaaree (71/61 & 62) from the narration of `Abdullaah bin Mas’ood.
"The Prophet cursed the woman who plucks eyebrows and the one who has her eyebrows plucked; the woman who extends hair and has her hair extended; and the woman who tattoos and has herself tattooed."
Reported by Imaam Al-Bukhaaree (71/61 & 62) from the narration of `Abdullaah bin Mas’ood.
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How halal is your source of income?
Men, how halal is your source of income? How halal is the source of income of your wife?
Women, how halal is your source of income? How halal is the source of income of your husband?
News reaching me is that Muslims; conscious Muslims for that matter, as in, Al-sunnah for that matter, have become slaves to money by caring less how its gotten.
There's a new ponzi scheme in town. It's beautifully designed like trade such that our brethren don't want to accept that it's haram despite the explanation that it's haram.
I won't mention what ponzi scheme it is, but I'll advise everyone to beware of the deals that are not too clear, that are not explainable and that are not traceable.
Don't be deceived. Don't deceive yourself either. What is halal is glaring and what is haram is glaring no matter how its garbed in a garment of beauty.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “O people, Allah is purely good, and He only accepts what is purely good. Verily, Allah has commanded the believers as He has commanded His Messengers. Allah said: O Messengers, eat from wholesome foods and act righteously, for I know what you do (23:51). And Allah said: O you who believe, eat from wholesome food We have provided for you,” (2:172). Then, the Prophet mentioned a man who traveled far, becoming disheveled and dusty, and he raised his hands to the sky, saying, “O Lord! O Lord!” Yet his food is unlawful, his drink is unlawful, his clothing is unlawful, and he is nourished by the unlawful, so how can he be answered?"
Let's ponder over this Hadith. The enjoyment of this world is fleeting. May we not lose our Akhirah because of it.
May Allah grant us halal sustenance against all odds. Aamin.
Men, how halal is your source of income? How halal is the source of income of your wife?
Women, how halal is your source of income? How halal is the source of income of your husband?
News reaching me is that Muslims; conscious Muslims for that matter, as in, Al-sunnah for that matter, have become slaves to money by caring less how its gotten.
There's a new ponzi scheme in town. It's beautifully designed like trade such that our brethren don't want to accept that it's haram despite the explanation that it's haram.
I won't mention what ponzi scheme it is, but I'll advise everyone to beware of the deals that are not too clear, that are not explainable and that are not traceable.
Don't be deceived. Don't deceive yourself either. What is halal is glaring and what is haram is glaring no matter how its garbed in a garment of beauty.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “O people, Allah is purely good, and He only accepts what is purely good. Verily, Allah has commanded the believers as He has commanded His Messengers. Allah said: O Messengers, eat from wholesome foods and act righteously, for I know what you do (23:51). And Allah said: O you who believe, eat from wholesome food We have provided for you,” (2:172). Then, the Prophet mentioned a man who traveled far, becoming disheveled and dusty, and he raised his hands to the sky, saying, “O Lord! O Lord!” Yet his food is unlawful, his drink is unlawful, his clothing is unlawful, and he is nourished by the unlawful, so how can he be answered?"
Let's ponder over this Hadith. The enjoyment of this world is fleeting. May we not lose our Akhirah because of it.
May Allah grant us halal sustenance against all odds. Aamin.
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"A woman is like a glass vase. If you leave it, it will gather dust. If you press it too hard, it will crack or even break. If you take care of it, it will remain beautiful, but taking care of it requires patience and deep understanding. Be patient with your woman, and you will find her beauty at some point."
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Marriage has six stages,
But most couples give up at stage three.
Stage 1: The Honeymoon Stage....
In the honeymoon stage, everything feels easy.
You both try harder.
You forgive faster. You overlook flaws because you're still learning each other.
Love feels automatic because life hasn't tested you yet.
This is where everyone wants to stay.
Everything is new. Every touch is electric.
Every conversation feels like a discovery.
The hormones are flooding your system.
You feel like you've finally found what you've been looking for.
This stage is beautiful. But it is not real. It is nature's way of bonding you before reality sets in.
Stage 2: The Reality Stage
This is where the newness wears off.
The hormones settle.
You start to notice the things you overlooked.
He leaves his socks everywhere.
She needs more reassurance than you expected.
The conversations become less about dreams and more about logistics.
This stage is where many couples panic.
They think something has gone wrong.
Nothing has gone wrong.
You are just meeting the real person behind the chemistry.
This is where the real work begins.
Stage 3: The Disappointment Stage
This is the stage where most couples give up.
You realize your partner is not who you thought they were.
Or rather, they are not who you projected onto them.
The disappointment is real. The fantasy has died.
You may feel betrayed, even though no one betrayed you.
You may think you married the wrong person. You didn't.
You just met the real them.
The question is not whether they are perfect.
The question is whether you can love them as they are.
Stage 4: The Adjustment Stage
If you survive stage three, you enter adjustment.
This is where you stop trying to change each other and start learning to work with each other.
You negotiate. You compromise.
You learn what battles to fight and what to let go.
This stage is not romantic. It is practical.
But it is where real partnership is built.
You stop asking "why aren't you different?" and start asking "how can we make this work?"
Stage 5: The Companionship Stage
This is where the marriage becomes solid.
You know each other now.
The surprises are mostly gone, replaced by deep knowing.
You finish each other's sentences.
You know what the other needs before they ask.
This stage feels less exciting than the beginning, but it is richer.
The passion is quieter, but deeper.
You have become teammates who have survived battles together.
That bond is stronger than any honeymoon.
Stage 6: The Deep Love Stage
Few couples reach this stage.
This is where love becomes unconditional.
Not because you don't see each other's flaws, but because you have chosen to love through them.
This is the stage where you can be silent together and feel closer than when you talked.
Where you can fight and know the fight won't break you.
Where you have seen each other at your worst and still choose to stay.
This stage is not given. It is earned. Over years. Over tears. Over forgiveness.
And it is worth every hard stage that came before it.
But most couples give up at stage three.
Stage 1: The Honeymoon Stage....
In the honeymoon stage, everything feels easy.
You both try harder.
You forgive faster. You overlook flaws because you're still learning each other.
Love feels automatic because life hasn't tested you yet.
This is where everyone wants to stay.
Everything is new. Every touch is electric.
Every conversation feels like a discovery.
The hormones are flooding your system.
You feel like you've finally found what you've been looking for.
This stage is beautiful. But it is not real. It is nature's way of bonding you before reality sets in.
Stage 2: The Reality Stage
This is where the newness wears off.
The hormones settle.
You start to notice the things you overlooked.
He leaves his socks everywhere.
She needs more reassurance than you expected.
The conversations become less about dreams and more about logistics.
This stage is where many couples panic.
They think something has gone wrong.
Nothing has gone wrong.
You are just meeting the real person behind the chemistry.
This is where the real work begins.
Stage 3: The Disappointment Stage
This is the stage where most couples give up.
You realize your partner is not who you thought they were.
Or rather, they are not who you projected onto them.
The disappointment is real. The fantasy has died.
You may feel betrayed, even though no one betrayed you.
You may think you married the wrong person. You didn't.
You just met the real them.
The question is not whether they are perfect.
The question is whether you can love them as they are.
Stage 4: The Adjustment Stage
If you survive stage three, you enter adjustment.
This is where you stop trying to change each other and start learning to work with each other.
You negotiate. You compromise.
You learn what battles to fight and what to let go.
This stage is not romantic. It is practical.
But it is where real partnership is built.
You stop asking "why aren't you different?" and start asking "how can we make this work?"
Stage 5: The Companionship Stage
This is where the marriage becomes solid.
You know each other now.
The surprises are mostly gone, replaced by deep knowing.
You finish each other's sentences.
You know what the other needs before they ask.
This stage feels less exciting than the beginning, but it is richer.
The passion is quieter, but deeper.
You have become teammates who have survived battles together.
That bond is stronger than any honeymoon.
Stage 6: The Deep Love Stage
Few couples reach this stage.
This is where love becomes unconditional.
Not because you don't see each other's flaws, but because you have chosen to love through them.
This is the stage where you can be silent together and feel closer than when you talked.
Where you can fight and know the fight won't break you.
Where you have seen each other at your worst and still choose to stay.
This stage is not given. It is earned. Over years. Over tears. Over forgiveness.
And it is worth every hard stage that came before it.
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Ya Allah, we the unmarried, let us marry once and marry right.
Grant us good, diligent spouses and let us marry into noble families where we are genuinely loved and respected.
Protect us from the trials of marriage and grant us eternal calm in our home. ya Rabb🤲
Grant us good, diligent spouses and let us marry into noble families where we are genuinely loved and respected.
Protect us from the trials of marriage and grant us eternal calm in our home. ya Rabb🤲
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The Marriage with the Greatest Blessing is that with Lesser Financial Burden
Question:
What is your opinion of the large dowers and expensive parties and honeymoons that cost a great deal of money? Does the Shariah approve of such things?
Answer:
Having very expensive dowers and extravagant wedding parties is something that goes against the Shariah. The marriage which has the greatest blessing is the one with lesser financial burden. Any time the burdens are lessened, the blessings are increased.
This is a matter that is many times caused by women. Women are the ones that often insist upon their husbands to set very high dower [for their daughter]. If a lesser dower is offered, they will say their daughter is deserving of such and such. Furthermore, expensive and luxurious wedding parties are prohibited by the Shariah. They fall under the command of the verse.
”But be not extravagant. Verily, He loves not those who are extravagant ”
(Surah Al- Anam 7:141)
Again, many times it is the women who force their husbands to do such things. They say that so and so’s party they had this and that. However, such gatherings must be according to the Shariah .The person should not spend what is beyond his means. He must also never be extravagant for Allah has prohibited extravagance.
”Verily, He loves not those who are extravagant.”
(Surah Al- Anam 7:141)
Honeymoons are worse and even more evil. This is because they are an imitation of the non-Muslims. They are a waste of lots of wealth. It also leads to people being lax with respect to their religious duties when such honeymoons take place in non- Muslim areas. The people come back with customs and behaviour that are harmful for them and for the Muslim community. This is something that is to be feared for the Ummah. However there is no harm, Allah Willing, if a man travels with his wife to make Umrah or to visit Madinah.
— Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah)
[Islamic Fatawa Regarding Women - Darussalam Publishers, pp. 193-1]
Question:
What is your opinion of the large dowers and expensive parties and honeymoons that cost a great deal of money? Does the Shariah approve of such things?
Answer:
Having very expensive dowers and extravagant wedding parties is something that goes against the Shariah. The marriage which has the greatest blessing is the one with lesser financial burden. Any time the burdens are lessened, the blessings are increased.
This is a matter that is many times caused by women. Women are the ones that often insist upon their husbands to set very high dower [for their daughter]. If a lesser dower is offered, they will say their daughter is deserving of such and such. Furthermore, expensive and luxurious wedding parties are prohibited by the Shariah. They fall under the command of the verse.
”But be not extravagant. Verily, He loves not those who are extravagant ”
(Surah Al- Anam 7:141)
Again, many times it is the women who force their husbands to do such things. They say that so and so’s party they had this and that. However, such gatherings must be according to the Shariah .The person should not spend what is beyond his means. He must also never be extravagant for Allah has prohibited extravagance.
”Verily, He loves not those who are extravagant.”
(Surah Al- Anam 7:141)
Honeymoons are worse and even more evil. This is because they are an imitation of the non-Muslims. They are a waste of lots of wealth. It also leads to people being lax with respect to their religious duties when such honeymoons take place in non- Muslim areas. The people come back with customs and behaviour that are harmful for them and for the Muslim community. This is something that is to be feared for the Ummah. However there is no harm, Allah Willing, if a man travels with his wife to make Umrah or to visit Madinah.
— Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah)
[Islamic Fatawa Regarding Women - Darussalam Publishers, pp. 193-1]
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*Al-Husayn ◌ؓ said:*
The Prophet ﷺ asked a lady, “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.”
He ﷺ said, “How are you with him?” She said, “I do not fall short in serving him, except in what I am unable to do.”
He ﷺ said, “Then pay attention to how you are with him, for he is your Paradise or your Hell.”
📚 Sahih al-Jami‘ 1509
The Prophet ﷺ asked a lady, “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.”
He ﷺ said, “How are you with him?” She said, “I do not fall short in serving him, except in what I am unable to do.”
He ﷺ said, “Then pay attention to how you are with him, for he is your Paradise or your Hell.”
📚 Sahih al-Jami‘ 1509
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Eid Ul Adha and the abuse of Desi men..
Can we talk about the abuse and exploitation many Desi Muslim women experience during Eid Ul Adha?
For countless women, Eid is not joy, rest, spirituality, or family bonding. It is anxiety, exhaustion, and nonstop labour. While everyone celebrates, women are expected to carry the entire emotional and physical burden of the day.
The men are angry, emotional, and unhinged because the butcher is late, the qurbani is delayed, or food is not ready fast enough. Once the sacrifice is done, suddenly the whole house revolves around meat. The same men who speak passionately about sacrifice, sabr, leadership, and jihad cannot tolerate waiting a few extra minutes for kaleji, gurda and hot parathas.
Meanwhile, the women are expected to do everything.
▪️Clean the blood and mess.
▪️Wash and sort the meat.
▪️Package portions for relatives and the poor.
▪️Manage guests.
▪️Cook breakfast.
▪️Prepare chai.
▪️Start marinating for biryani.
▪️Then the next day it begins again with chakna, nahari, kebabs, and endless hosting...
And none of this labour is seen as labour.
Everyone benefits from the unpaid work of Muslim women during Eid. The men get to “perform qurbani.” The extended family gets their meat delivered and packaged neatly. Guests are welcomed into clean homes with hot food. Children enjoy Eid because their mothers exhausted themselves making it feel like Eid.
But who takes care of the women?
Who asks whether they prayed Eid peacefully?
Who asks whether they had time for dhikr?
Who notices that many women spend the entire day standing in kitchens instead of remembering Allah?
The tragedy is that ibadah gets replaced by chaos, shouting, emotional abuse, and obsession with consumption.
True qawwam are not men who bark orders while women run around serving them. True qawwam make things easier for the women in their homes. They help clean. They distribute meat. They comfort stressed family members. They are emotionally regulated. They joke, lighten the mood, assist quietly, and show rahma.
The Prophet ﷺ mended his own clothes and helped his family at home. Yet some Muslim men today cannot even carry meat bags or serve guests without acting oppressed.
If you are a hangry man on Eid, fear Allah. Eat what is available. Stop rushing the women of your home. Stop treating them like unpaid domestic staff whose exhaustion is invisible.
Muslim women are not machines created to absorb everyone’s stress while receiving none of the mercy Islam commands.
🤲 May Allah guide the men of this Ummah, place rahma in our homes, and protect Muslim women from emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. Ameen.
Can we talk about the abuse and exploitation many Desi Muslim women experience during Eid Ul Adha?
For countless women, Eid is not joy, rest, spirituality, or family bonding. It is anxiety, exhaustion, and nonstop labour. While everyone celebrates, women are expected to carry the entire emotional and physical burden of the day.
The men are angry, emotional, and unhinged because the butcher is late, the qurbani is delayed, or food is not ready fast enough. Once the sacrifice is done, suddenly the whole house revolves around meat. The same men who speak passionately about sacrifice, sabr, leadership, and jihad cannot tolerate waiting a few extra minutes for kaleji, gurda and hot parathas.
Meanwhile, the women are expected to do everything.
▪️Clean the blood and mess.
▪️Wash and sort the meat.
▪️Package portions for relatives and the poor.
▪️Manage guests.
▪️Cook breakfast.
▪️Prepare chai.
▪️Start marinating for biryani.
▪️Then the next day it begins again with chakna, nahari, kebabs, and endless hosting...
And none of this labour is seen as labour.
Everyone benefits from the unpaid work of Muslim women during Eid. The men get to “perform qurbani.” The extended family gets their meat delivered and packaged neatly. Guests are welcomed into clean homes with hot food. Children enjoy Eid because their mothers exhausted themselves making it feel like Eid.
But who takes care of the women?
Who asks whether they prayed Eid peacefully?
Who asks whether they had time for dhikr?
Who notices that many women spend the entire day standing in kitchens instead of remembering Allah?
The tragedy is that ibadah gets replaced by chaos, shouting, emotional abuse, and obsession with consumption.
True qawwam are not men who bark orders while women run around serving them. True qawwam make things easier for the women in their homes. They help clean. They distribute meat. They comfort stressed family members. They are emotionally regulated. They joke, lighten the mood, assist quietly, and show rahma.
The Prophet ﷺ mended his own clothes and helped his family at home. Yet some Muslim men today cannot even carry meat bags or serve guests without acting oppressed.
If you are a hangry man on Eid, fear Allah. Eat what is available. Stop rushing the women of your home. Stop treating them like unpaid domestic staff whose exhaustion is invisible.
Muslim women are not machines created to absorb everyone’s stress while receiving none of the mercy Islam commands.
🤲 May Allah guide the men of this Ummah, place rahma in our homes, and protect Muslim women from emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. Ameen.
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🔴 MUSLIM WOMEN COMPLAIN THERE ARE NO GOOD MEN—BUT LOOK AT YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR 🔴
Every day, sisters say:
❌ “There are no good men left.”
❌ “All the brothers are weak and useless.”
❌ “I can’t find a man who prays and fears Allah.”
But let’s be real—is the problem really the men, or are your standards based on dunya instead of deen?
• You reject pious, hardworking men because they don’t have a six-figure salary.
• You ignore brothers with good character because they don’t have designer clothes and a luxury car.
• You want a man who will provide and lead—but you refuse to accept a man who expects obedience and modesty.
What exactly are you looking for? A righteous man, or a rich, good-looking celebrity?
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. Choose the one with religion, may your hands be rubbed with dust.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
Now let’s flip it—if a brother judged you by the same dunya-based standards, would you pass?
• Are you a woman who fears Allah and obeys Him in everything?
• Are you a woman who dresses modestly, avoids fitnah, and protects her honor?
• Are you a woman who values marriage as a responsibility, not a fantasy?
Because let’s be honest—many sisters today want to be treated like princesses while refusing to be righteous wives.
If you want a husband with Taqwa, loyalty, and leadership—start by being a wife with Taqwa, loyalty, and obedience.
Good men exist. The question is, are you the kind of woman they would want to marry?
Every day, sisters say:
❌ “There are no good men left.”
❌ “All the brothers are weak and useless.”
❌ “I can’t find a man who prays and fears Allah.”
But let’s be real—is the problem really the men, or are your standards based on dunya instead of deen?
• You reject pious, hardworking men because they don’t have a six-figure salary.
• You ignore brothers with good character because they don’t have designer clothes and a luxury car.
• You want a man who will provide and lead—but you refuse to accept a man who expects obedience and modesty.
What exactly are you looking for? A righteous man, or a rich, good-looking celebrity?
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. Choose the one with religion, may your hands be rubbed with dust.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
Now let’s flip it—if a brother judged you by the same dunya-based standards, would you pass?
• Are you a woman who fears Allah and obeys Him in everything?
• Are you a woman who dresses modestly, avoids fitnah, and protects her honor?
• Are you a woman who values marriage as a responsibility, not a fantasy?
Because let’s be honest—many sisters today want to be treated like princesses while refusing to be righteous wives.
If you want a husband with Taqwa, loyalty, and leadership—start by being a wife with Taqwa, loyalty, and obedience.
Good men exist. The question is, are you the kind of woman they would want to marry?
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Imam Malik رحمه الله said:
“I have been informed that Luqman said to his son:
‘O my son, the first thing you should acquire from this world, after a righteous friend, is a righteous wife.’”
- Al-Bayan wa al-Tahseel 323/4
“I have been informed that Luqman said to his son:
‘O my son, the first thing you should acquire from this world, after a righteous friend, is a righteous wife.’”
- Al-Bayan wa al-Tahseel 323/4
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Ibn Rajab رحمه الله said,
Whoever cannot afford a slaughter then let him slaughter his own lusts and desires.
[Lataaif Pg. 402]
Whoever cannot afford a slaughter then let him slaughter his own lusts and desires.
[Lataaif Pg. 402]
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In Islam, marriage is not only about providing food, clothing, and financial support — it is also about love, mercy, emotional comfort, and companionship. Allah says: “And He placed between you affection and mercy” (Surah Ar-Rum 30:21). Many good husbands sincerely fulfill financial responsibilities but may not naturally understand emotional needs unless they are gently expressed and communicated. This does not always mean there is no love; sometimes people show love differently based on personality, upbringing, or emotional understanding. Try speaking to your husband calmly and honestly, not only about what hurts you, but also about what makes you feel loved, valued, and emotionally safe. Small moments of kindness, appreciation, conversation, and shared time can slowly strengthen emotional closeness in a marriage.
At the same time, do not lose hope in your relationship simply because emotional connection feels weak right now. Hearts can soften and relationships can grow stronger with patience, dua, and mutual effort. The Prophet ﷺ was emotionally gentle, affectionate, and caring toward his wives, showing that emotional support is also part of good character in marriage. Continue making dua for love and understanding between your hearts, and encourage healthy communication instead of silent sadness. Sometimes marriages are not broken — they are simply waiting for deeper understanding and emotional openness to grow.
May Allah place deep love, mercy, understanding, and emotional closeness between you and your husband, and make your marriage a source of peace, comfort, and barakah. Ameen 🤲
At the same time, do not lose hope in your relationship simply because emotional connection feels weak right now. Hearts can soften and relationships can grow stronger with patience, dua, and mutual effort. The Prophet ﷺ was emotionally gentle, affectionate, and caring toward his wives, showing that emotional support is also part of good character in marriage. Continue making dua for love and understanding between your hearts, and encourage healthy communication instead of silent sadness. Sometimes marriages are not broken — they are simply waiting for deeper understanding and emotional openness to grow.
May Allah place deep love, mercy, understanding, and emotional closeness between you and your husband, and make your marriage a source of peace, comfort, and barakah. Ameen 🤲
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Never fall for Zina because it brings
darkness to the face,
Tightness in the chest, Curses in the tongue, Restlessness in the soul,
And brokeness in rizq .
It is the Enemy of Light, clarity and honour !!
darkness to the face,
Tightness in the chest, Curses in the tongue, Restlessness in the soul,
And brokeness in rizq .
It is the Enemy of Light, clarity and honour !!
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A woman is not obligated to serve her husband according to Shāfi‘ī and some of the Mālikī scholars
This is the outcome of the feminist cancer that has crept into the ranks of the Muslims and has taken some of the Muslim ladies for a ride. I will keep this brief before those with fake nails have an opportunity to scratch, and before scratching, take the time to actually read until the end.
1. The very same schools of Fiqh, despite their statements that a woman is not obligated to serve her husband, stated that it is still better for her to do so. Therefore, those who claim to follow the two schools of Fiqh and refuse to serve their husbands are in reality not adhering to the better teachings in those schools. Of course, the Ḥanafī school holds the view that it is an obligation on the woman to do so and she is not to be paid any compensation for that aside from the husband spending on her as required normally.
2. There are no definitive and direct texts that prove that it is an obligation on the woman to serve her husband in the same way that there are no definitive and direct texts that state that it is NOT an obligation, the outcome? This is a matter of custom, or ‘Urf, and custom is a proof in the Sharī‘ah and we see this in the Noble Qur’ān in which Allāh mentions the word Ma‘rūf many times, for example, Allāh says in Noble Qur’ān 2:228 ~
"And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable (b-il-'Ma‘rūf). But the men have a degree over them"
So here, the term بالمعروف means according to what is customarily known among people.
3. Based on the previous points, it is a gross error to take the statements of scholars which were based on the customs of their time, and attempt to superimpose them to satisfy the feminist agenda of today.
For instance, the very same scholars who said that a woman is not obligated to serve the husband are the same ones who stated that a husband is not obligated to pay for his wife's medical bills, and that this goes back to the father of the lady.
At the same time, the proofs used by proponents of both opinions, such as the one about ‘Alī Ibn Abī Ṭālib and Fāṭimah, may Allāh be pleased with them, with the latter asking for a prisoner of war to be her servant (Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2727) or the narration about Fāṭimah being given a servant later on (Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4106) both point to something very important. It was a known custom back then to have slaves who were taken as prisoners of war, meaning, women would have those slaves doing the work at home. Therefore, it was part of custom back then to have slaves doing the work. This is not the case today. Jihād is not taking place today as it was back then with the outcomes of taking war booty and prisoners of war.
In addition, the very same scholars of the Fiqh schools give the requirements on the husband, such as providing one garment for the summer and another for the winter. Are we to apply those minimum requirements today?
Today, men go way above and beyond this minimum, women have much more than just two garments, shoes, purses, and many other things. This is a matter of custom, just as it is also a matter of custom for Muslims that the wife serves her husband at home, and even in Muslim regions and countries which are Shāfi‘ī, it is the custom that the wife is responsible for cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the home while the husband is out working a job and even more than one job and perhaps running a business at the same time.
When a matter in the Sharī‘ah is based on custom, it becomes mandatory to take changing customs into consideration. Custom can never supersede or cancel out definitive rulings in the Sharī‘ah as proven in the Divine Texts and consensus of the scholars, but custom, as long as it does not go against the Sharī‘ah, is a proof and is a part of the legislation.
In Noble Qur’ān 4:34 Allāh ends the verse by saying:
{But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them}
This is the outcome of the feminist cancer that has crept into the ranks of the Muslims and has taken some of the Muslim ladies for a ride. I will keep this brief before those with fake nails have an opportunity to scratch, and before scratching, take the time to actually read until the end.
1. The very same schools of Fiqh, despite their statements that a woman is not obligated to serve her husband, stated that it is still better for her to do so. Therefore, those who claim to follow the two schools of Fiqh and refuse to serve their husbands are in reality not adhering to the better teachings in those schools. Of course, the Ḥanafī school holds the view that it is an obligation on the woman to do so and she is not to be paid any compensation for that aside from the husband spending on her as required normally.
2. There are no definitive and direct texts that prove that it is an obligation on the woman to serve her husband in the same way that there are no definitive and direct texts that state that it is NOT an obligation, the outcome? This is a matter of custom, or ‘Urf, and custom is a proof in the Sharī‘ah and we see this in the Noble Qur’ān in which Allāh mentions the word Ma‘rūf many times, for example, Allāh says in Noble Qur’ān 2:228 ~
"And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable (b-il-'Ma‘rūf). But the men have a degree over them"
So here, the term بالمعروف means according to what is customarily known among people.
3. Based on the previous points, it is a gross error to take the statements of scholars which were based on the customs of their time, and attempt to superimpose them to satisfy the feminist agenda of today.
For instance, the very same scholars who said that a woman is not obligated to serve the husband are the same ones who stated that a husband is not obligated to pay for his wife's medical bills, and that this goes back to the father of the lady.
At the same time, the proofs used by proponents of both opinions, such as the one about ‘Alī Ibn Abī Ṭālib and Fāṭimah, may Allāh be pleased with them, with the latter asking for a prisoner of war to be her servant (Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2727) or the narration about Fāṭimah being given a servant later on (Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4106) both point to something very important. It was a known custom back then to have slaves who were taken as prisoners of war, meaning, women would have those slaves doing the work at home. Therefore, it was part of custom back then to have slaves doing the work. This is not the case today. Jihād is not taking place today as it was back then with the outcomes of taking war booty and prisoners of war.
In addition, the very same scholars of the Fiqh schools give the requirements on the husband, such as providing one garment for the summer and another for the winter. Are we to apply those minimum requirements today?
Today, men go way above and beyond this minimum, women have much more than just two garments, shoes, purses, and many other things. This is a matter of custom, just as it is also a matter of custom for Muslims that the wife serves her husband at home, and even in Muslim regions and countries which are Shāfi‘ī, it is the custom that the wife is responsible for cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the home while the husband is out working a job and even more than one job and perhaps running a business at the same time.
When a matter in the Sharī‘ah is based on custom, it becomes mandatory to take changing customs into consideration. Custom can never supersede or cancel out definitive rulings in the Sharī‘ah as proven in the Divine Texts and consensus of the scholars, but custom, as long as it does not go against the Sharī‘ah, is a proof and is a part of the legislation.
In Noble Qur’ān 4:34 Allāh ends the verse by saying:
{But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them}
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And obedience, of course, again, goes back to what is customarily known, in addition to guidelines in both the Qur’ān and the Sunnah on certain things which are obligations on the wife, such as not allowing people in her home which the husband doesn't approve, such as the wife not doing voluntary fasting if the husband doesn't allow that, and so on.
In conclusion, do not fall prey to those who open up books of Fiqh without having proper insight on the context of the rulings and differences among the scholars. It is not a condition that all four schools have consensus on matter for it to become binding, and even if they do have a consensus, the four schools are not the only sources of Fiqh.
Just imagine if a man tells his father-in-law that his daughter, meaning, the man's wife, was in the hospital for a week and required a lot of medication, that her father has to cover the bill, and gives his proof from the four schools of Fiqh, how would that be taken given today's customs? Is a man required to take his wife with him to Ḥajj? No, but many men who can afford that will in fact take their wives with them to Ḥajj, because that has become a matter of custom as well.
والله أعلم
In conclusion, do not fall prey to those who open up books of Fiqh without having proper insight on the context of the rulings and differences among the scholars. It is not a condition that all four schools have consensus on matter for it to become binding, and even if they do have a consensus, the four schools are not the only sources of Fiqh.
Just imagine if a man tells his father-in-law that his daughter, meaning, the man's wife, was in the hospital for a week and required a lot of medication, that her father has to cover the bill, and gives his proof from the four schools of Fiqh, how would that be taken given today's customs? Is a man required to take his wife with him to Ḥajj? No, but many men who can afford that will in fact take their wives with them to Ḥajj, because that has become a matter of custom as well.
والله أعلم
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Al-Qasim ibn Abi Ayyub رحمه الله reported,
"When Sa’id ibn Jubayr رحمه الله reached the first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah, he would exert himself in worship so greatly that he would nearly overwhelm himself."
[Sunan al-Darimi, 1774]
"When Sa’id ibn Jubayr رحمه الله reached the first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah, he would exert himself in worship so greatly that he would nearly overwhelm himself."
[Sunan al-Darimi, 1774]
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Maryam (R.A) had no partner.
Aishah (R.A) had no children.
Khadijah (R.A) only found her best partner at the age of 40.
Fatimah (R.A) was tested by
Economic hardships.
Asiyah (A.S) lived with The worst man in History.
And yet Allah chose them, as the best women of All-time. The leaders of women in paradise (Jannah).
So, stop measuring your worth with Dunya's broken scale. Struggle in this world doesn't mean Allah hates you.
Always remember that, Imperfect lives make perfect Legacies!
Aishah (R.A) had no children.
Khadijah (R.A) only found her best partner at the age of 40.
Fatimah (R.A) was tested by
Economic hardships.
Asiyah (A.S) lived with The worst man in History.
And yet Allah chose them, as the best women of All-time. The leaders of women in paradise (Jannah).
So, stop measuring your worth with Dunya's broken scale. Struggle in this world doesn't mean Allah hates you.
Always remember that, Imperfect lives make perfect Legacies!
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Marrying an already proposed or engaged woman
Engagement expresses a desire to marry and involves notifying the woman's guardian, either directly or through family. It becomes final if agreed upon, but is not a binding commitment; marriage requires a recognised contract. The betrothed are still considered strangers, allowing only limited interactions, and actions like reciting the Fatiha or receiving gifts do not constitute marriage.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, ..And none should ask for the hand of a girl who is already engaged to his (Muslim) brother, but one should wait till the first suitor marries her or leaves her." [Bukhari 5143]
The hadith suggests that harming others is prohibited, similar to the prohibition against taking someone's property or harming them. Marrying an engaged woman is considered valid by the majority, though it is sinful, and no separation occurs post-marriage. However, Imam Malik argues it is invalid due to its forbidden nature. The Maliki school requires annulment before consummation if proven in court. [Wahbah al-Zuhayli]
Said Ibn Hajar,
''Dawud said the marriage is annulled both before and after consummation. The Malikis have a similar difference of opinion, with some saying it is annulled before consummation but not after. The majority's argument is that the prohibited act is the engagement, and engagement is not a condition for the validity of marriage, so the marriage is not annulled if it is invalid. '[Fath al Bari]
Said Ibn Battal,
''As for his statement that it is dissolved before consummation and remains valid afterwards, this is similar to repeating the prayer within its prescribed time to ensure the act is performed completely and according to its recommended practices.''
Engagement expresses a desire to marry and involves notifying the woman's guardian, either directly or through family. It becomes final if agreed upon, but is not a binding commitment; marriage requires a recognised contract. The betrothed are still considered strangers, allowing only limited interactions, and actions like reciting the Fatiha or receiving gifts do not constitute marriage.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, ..And none should ask for the hand of a girl who is already engaged to his (Muslim) brother, but one should wait till the first suitor marries her or leaves her." [Bukhari 5143]
The hadith suggests that harming others is prohibited, similar to the prohibition against taking someone's property or harming them. Marrying an engaged woman is considered valid by the majority, though it is sinful, and no separation occurs post-marriage. However, Imam Malik argues it is invalid due to its forbidden nature. The Maliki school requires annulment before consummation if proven in court. [Wahbah al-Zuhayli]
Said Ibn Hajar,
''Dawud said the marriage is annulled both before and after consummation. The Malikis have a similar difference of opinion, with some saying it is annulled before consummation but not after. The majority's argument is that the prohibited act is the engagement, and engagement is not a condition for the validity of marriage, so the marriage is not annulled if it is invalid. '[Fath al Bari]
Said Ibn Battal,
''As for his statement that it is dissolved before consummation and remains valid afterwards, this is similar to repeating the prayer within its prescribed time to ensure the act is performed completely and according to its recommended practices.''
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