Before you step into marriage, sit down and face these conversations most couples are too scared to touch:
-Talk about the wounds you carry from childhood.
-Talk about family health history on both sides.
-Talk about how bills will be paid, how credit will be managed, and how responsibilities will be divided.
-Talk about beliefs, values, and what you want your children to grow up learning.
-Talk about sexual expectations and boundaries.
These aren’t “uncomfortable topics.” Ignore these conversations now and you’ll pay for them late
-Talk about the wounds you carry from childhood.
-Talk about family health history on both sides.
-Talk about how bills will be paid, how credit will be managed, and how responsibilities will be divided.
-Talk about beliefs, values, and what you want your children to grow up learning.
-Talk about sexual expectations and boundaries.
These aren’t “uncomfortable topics.” Ignore these conversations now and you’ll pay for them late
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The Balance of Roles in a Woman’s Life
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (Rahimaullah) said: For a married woman, obeying her husband is better than obeying her father.
[Majmoo’ al-Fataawa Ibn Taymiyyah (Rahimaullah), 10/428]
🔹 Before marriage, the father is a woman’s guardian and protector.
🔹 After marriage, the husband becomes her new guardian, and their relationship forms the foundation of a family.
It’s not about competition between parents and spouses, but about honoring the roles Allaah has assigned in different phases of one's life.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (Rahimaullah) said: For a married woman, obeying her husband is better than obeying her father.
[Majmoo’ al-Fataawa Ibn Taymiyyah (Rahimaullah), 10/428]
🔹 Before marriage, the father is a woman’s guardian and protector.
🔹 After marriage, the husband becomes her new guardian, and their relationship forms the foundation of a family.
It’s not about competition between parents and spouses, but about honoring the roles Allaah has assigned in different phases of one's life.
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Marrying an already proposed or engaged woman
Engagement expresses a desire to marry and involves notifying the woman's guardian, either directly or through family. It becomes final if agreed upon, but is not a binding commitment; marriage requires a recognised contract. The betrothed are still considered strangers, allowing only limited interactions, and actions like reciting the Fatiha or receiving gifts do not constitute marriage.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, ..And none should ask for the hand of a girl who is already engaged to his (Muslim) brother, but one should wait till the first suitor marries her or leaves her." [Bukhari 5143]
The hadith suggests that harming others is prohibited, similar to the prohibition against taking someone's property or harming them. Marrying an engaged woman is considered valid by the majority, though it is sinful, and no separation occurs post-marriage. However, Imam Malik argues it is invalid due to its forbidden nature. The Maliki school requires annulment before consummation if proven in court. [Wahbah al-Zuhayli]
Said Ibn Hajar,
''Dawud said the marriage is annulled both before and after consummation. The Malikis have a similar difference of opinion, with some saying it is annulled before consummation but not after. The majority's argument is that the prohibited act is the engagement, and engagement is not a condition for the validity of marriage, so the marriage is not annulled if it is invalid. '[Fath al Bari]
Said Ibn Battal [Maliki],
''As for his statement that it is dissolved before consummation and remains valid afterwards, this is similar to repeating the prayer within its prescribed time to ensure the act is performed completely and according to its recommended practices.''
Engagement expresses a desire to marry and involves notifying the woman's guardian, either directly or through family. It becomes final if agreed upon, but is not a binding commitment; marriage requires a recognised contract. The betrothed are still considered strangers, allowing only limited interactions, and actions like reciting the Fatiha or receiving gifts do not constitute marriage.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, ..And none should ask for the hand of a girl who is already engaged to his (Muslim) brother, but one should wait till the first suitor marries her or leaves her." [Bukhari 5143]
The hadith suggests that harming others is prohibited, similar to the prohibition against taking someone's property or harming them. Marrying an engaged woman is considered valid by the majority, though it is sinful, and no separation occurs post-marriage. However, Imam Malik argues it is invalid due to its forbidden nature. The Maliki school requires annulment before consummation if proven in court. [Wahbah al-Zuhayli]
Said Ibn Hajar,
''Dawud said the marriage is annulled both before and after consummation. The Malikis have a similar difference of opinion, with some saying it is annulled before consummation but not after. The majority's argument is that the prohibited act is the engagement, and engagement is not a condition for the validity of marriage, so the marriage is not annulled if it is invalid. '[Fath al Bari]
Said Ibn Battal [Maliki],
''As for his statement that it is dissolved before consummation and remains valid afterwards, this is similar to repeating the prayer within its prescribed time to ensure the act is performed completely and according to its recommended practices.''
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Keep Talking - It Keeps Your Marriage Alive
Talk with your partner. Really talk. And listen - truly listen. Not to win. Not to fix. But to understand. Silence builds walls. Shouting builds wounds. But kind words build bridges.
Put down your phone. Turn off the TV. Look into your partner’s eyes. Let your heart speak. Ask how they’re doing. Then listen with care. Listen with your heart. Listen with a still soul.
Don’t assume they know what you feel. Say it before silence steals it. Say “I miss you.” Say “I’m proud of you.” Say “I love you.” Speak often. Speak softly. Speak love into your marriage.
When you’re hurt, don’t attack. When angry, don’t shout. Use words that heal, not harm. Say sorry quickly. Forgive freely. Words can crush or comfort. Use them to lift up your partner.
Communication keeps your marriage alive. The more you talk, the stronger your bond. Your words breathe life into love. So, talk daily. Listen deeply. Speak kindly. Love listens - and love speaks.
Talk with your partner. Really talk. And listen - truly listen. Not to win. Not to fix. But to understand. Silence builds walls. Shouting builds wounds. But kind words build bridges.
Put down your phone. Turn off the TV. Look into your partner’s eyes. Let your heart speak. Ask how they’re doing. Then listen with care. Listen with your heart. Listen with a still soul.
Don’t assume they know what you feel. Say it before silence steals it. Say “I miss you.” Say “I’m proud of you.” Say “I love you.” Speak often. Speak softly. Speak love into your marriage.
When you’re hurt, don’t attack. When angry, don’t shout. Use words that heal, not harm. Say sorry quickly. Forgive freely. Words can crush or comfort. Use them to lift up your partner.
Communication keeps your marriage alive. The more you talk, the stronger your bond. Your words breathe life into love. So, talk daily. Listen deeply. Speak kindly. Love listens - and love speaks.
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At this point I realized that marriage is not for lovers. It's for forgivers, sacrificers, grown adults. Why? You can love someone and still hurt them. Still disappoint them. Still forget their needs. Love alone is not enough.
At this point I realized that real marriage needs emotional maturity, conflict resolution, humility, communication and a lots of forgiveness. You'll forgive things you swore you never could.
At this point I realized that real marriage needs emotional maturity, conflict resolution, humility, communication and a lots of forgiveness. You'll forgive things you swore you never could.
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Polygyny did not
fail. Some men
failed at practising
it correctly
Some wives opposed to follow n never encourages
fail. Some men
failed at practising
it correctly
Some wives opposed to follow n never encourages
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HUSBANDS GLORIFY, WIVES RESPECT. TOGETHER, PURSUING JANNAH...
🌼 FOR HUSBANDS
1. Gentleness: Speak politely, call her by terms of endearment.
2. Appreciation: Don't criticize her cooking/housework; appreciate her efforts.
3. Help: Help out with household chores.
4. Honor: Don't compare her to other women.
5. Support: Give generously, consider it an act of worship.
6. Patience: Face her shortcomings with patience and humor.
7. Manners of Anger: Remain calm and don't insult her even when you're emotional.
🌼 FOR WIVES
1. Obedience: Compliance with good deeds for the sake of Allah's pleasure.
2. Respect: Speak politely, maintain your husband's dignity and secrets.
3. Gratitude: Be content and don't demand beyond your means.
4. Support: Be an encouragement in your husband's endeavors and preaching.
5. Calm: Defuse conflicts, don't escalate the situation.
6. Patience: Accept your husband's shortcomings with an open heart.
7. Prayer: Always pray for your husband during every prostration.
🌼 FOR HUSBANDS
1. Gentleness: Speak politely, call her by terms of endearment.
2. Appreciation: Don't criticize her cooking/housework; appreciate her efforts.
3. Help: Help out with household chores.
4. Honor: Don't compare her to other women.
5. Support: Give generously, consider it an act of worship.
6. Patience: Face her shortcomings with patience and humor.
7. Manners of Anger: Remain calm and don't insult her even when you're emotional.
🌼 FOR WIVES
1. Obedience: Compliance with good deeds for the sake of Allah's pleasure.
2. Respect: Speak politely, maintain your husband's dignity and secrets.
3. Gratitude: Be content and don't demand beyond your means.
4. Support: Be an encouragement in your husband's endeavors and preaching.
5. Calm: Defuse conflicts, don't escalate the situation.
6. Patience: Accept your husband's shortcomings with an open heart.
7. Prayer: Always pray for your husband during every prostration.
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Choosing a husband is one of the most important decisions a woman will ever make.
It should never be based only on love, money, or pressure from society. Look beyond sweet words and focus on character, respect, and emotional maturity.
A good man will not only love you but will value your dignity, listen to you, and treat you with kindness even in difficult moments.
Pay attention to how he handles anger. If he cannot control his temper while dating, it may become worse in marriage. Respect is not something to beg for, it should come naturally. 📌
It should never be based only on love, money, or pressure from society. Look beyond sweet words and focus on character, respect, and emotional maturity.
A good man will not only love you but will value your dignity, listen to you, and treat you with kindness even in difficult moments.
Pay attention to how he handles anger. If he cannot control his temper while dating, it may become worse in marriage. Respect is not something to beg for, it should come naturally. 📌
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My husband married
another woman. I tried to accept it, but it hurts me deeply and disturbs my peace when I think about it. Am I sinful if I ask for a divorce? (Q&A)
In Islam, a man is permitted to marry more than one wife, provided that he deals with justice and fairness between them. The Qur'an says: “If you fear that you cannot deal justly, then marry only one” (Surah An-Nisa 4:3). Therefore, if a husband has married again while intending to fulfill the rights of both wives, this action itself is not considered a sin in Islam. In such situations, it is often advised that the wife try to remain patient and handle the matter with wisdom, calmness, and dignity, especially if the husband continues to fulfill her rights, maintenance, and responsibilities properly. Patience and tolerance in difficult situations can bring great reward from Allah.
However, Islam also acknowledges a woman’s emotional wellbeing. If the wife finds that the situation causes her serious distress or if the husband fails to fulfill her rights properly, then she may seek separation or divorce. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasized kindness, justice, and fairness within marriage. Therefore, the best approach is first to try communication, patience, and mutual understanding. If the husband is fulfilling his responsibilities and treating both wives fairly, then remaining patient may help preserve the family. But if injustice, neglect, or harm occurs, Islam allows the woman to seek a lawful solution.
O Allah, grant peace and patience to our hearts, guide our families with justice and wisdom, and bless our homes with mercy and understanding. Ameen 🤲
another woman. I tried to accept it, but it hurts me deeply and disturbs my peace when I think about it. Am I sinful if I ask for a divorce? (Q&A)
In Islam, a man is permitted to marry more than one wife, provided that he deals with justice and fairness between them. The Qur'an says: “If you fear that you cannot deal justly, then marry only one” (Surah An-Nisa 4:3). Therefore, if a husband has married again while intending to fulfill the rights of both wives, this action itself is not considered a sin in Islam. In such situations, it is often advised that the wife try to remain patient and handle the matter with wisdom, calmness, and dignity, especially if the husband continues to fulfill her rights, maintenance, and responsibilities properly. Patience and tolerance in difficult situations can bring great reward from Allah.
However, Islam also acknowledges a woman’s emotional wellbeing. If the wife finds that the situation causes her serious distress or if the husband fails to fulfill her rights properly, then she may seek separation or divorce. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasized kindness, justice, and fairness within marriage. Therefore, the best approach is first to try communication, patience, and mutual understanding. If the husband is fulfilling his responsibilities and treating both wives fairly, then remaining patient may help preserve the family. But if injustice, neglect, or harm occurs, Islam allows the woman to seek a lawful solution.
O Allah, grant peace and patience to our hearts, guide our families with justice and wisdom, and bless our homes with mercy and understanding. Ameen 🤲
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Forwarded from Muslim Children Tips
The meaning of the name “Ibrahim” (Abraham), is from the Syriac: “Ab-Rahim” (meaning: merciful father)
و { إِبْرَاهِيمَ } معناه في السريانية أب رحيم
و { إِبْرَاهِيمَ } معناه في السريانية أب رحيم
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*Topic: The Rights and Responsibilities Between Husband and Wife in Islam*
*بِسْمِ ٱللَّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ*
Marriage in Islam is a trust, not just a contract. It’s called _mithaqan ghalidha_ — “a solemn covenant” [Qur’an 4:21]. And with that covenant come rights and responsibilities that protect both husband and wife.
*1. The Rights of the Wife Upon Her Husband*
*Allah says:*
_وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ_
_“And live with them in kindness.”_ [Surah An-Nisa 4:19]
A husband’s duty is not just to provide food and shelter. It’s to protect her dignity, speak gently, overlook faults, and be her safe place. The Prophet ﷺ spent time listening to his wives, racing with Aisha RA, and helping with housework.
*His key responsibilities:*
- *Financial maintenance:* Food, clothing, housing within his means — even if she’s wealthy.
- *Kind treatment:* No harm in words or actions. Anger should be swallowed, not thrown.
- *Religious guidance:* Helping her grow in deen, praying together, learning together.
- *Justice:* If he has more than one wife, he must be fair in time, spending, and treatment.
*The Prophet ﷺ said:* _“The most complete of believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are those who are best to their women.”_[Tirmidhi]
*2. The Rights of the Husband Upon His Wife*
*Allah says:*
_فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ_
_“So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in absence what Allah would have them guard.”_ [Surah An-Nisa 4:34]
Obedience here means cooperation in what is halal and pleasing to Allah — not in sin or abuse. There is no obedience to creation in disobedience to the Creator.
*Her key responsibilities:*
- *Guarding his rights:* His honor, wealth, and home when he’s absent.
- *Respect and cooperation:* Being a source of sakinah, not stress. Consulting him, supporting his halal decisions.
- *Protecting the home:* Creating peace, raising children upon Islam, keeping his secrets.
- *Intimacy:* Responding to his needs, as it protects both from haram.
*The Prophet ﷺ said:* _“When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.”_ [Bukhari & Muslim] — This shows how serious fulfilling each other’s needs is, because marriage is a protection.
*3. Mutual Rights — The Foundation of Rahmah*
Both owe each other:
- *Good character:* Smiling, forgiving, not keeping score.
- *Consultation:* _“And consult them in affairs”_ [3:159] — marriage is shura, not dictatorship.
- *Privacy:* Not exposing each other’s faults to others. The Prophet ﷺ said the worst people on Judgment Day are those who spread marital secrets.
- *Du’a for each other:* The strongest marriages are built on sajdah, not just romance.
*A Powerful Reminder*
Rights without responsibility turn into demands. Responsibility without mercy turns into burden. Islam balances both with _ihsan_ — excellence.
Many marriages break not because of lack of love, but because of lack of _adab_. You can be right and still be wrong in how you say it. You can provide for everything but starve her of kindness.
Shaytan’s happiest moment is when a husband and wife split. So every time you choose patience over pride, you defeat him.
*Final Reflection*
Marriage is not 50/50. It’s 100/100. You don’t do your part because they did theirs. You do it because Allah sees yours.
If both fear Allah regarding each other, the house becomes Jannah before Jannah.
May Allah grant us spouses who are the coolness of our eyes, and make us the same for them. May He fill our homes with sakinah, mawaddah, and rahmah. *Ameen.*
*بِسْمِ ٱللَّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ*
Marriage in Islam is a trust, not just a contract. It’s called _mithaqan ghalidha_ — “a solemn covenant” [Qur’an 4:21]. And with that covenant come rights and responsibilities that protect both husband and wife.
*1. The Rights of the Wife Upon Her Husband*
*Allah says:*
_وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ_
_“And live with them in kindness.”_ [Surah An-Nisa 4:19]
A husband’s duty is not just to provide food and shelter. It’s to protect her dignity, speak gently, overlook faults, and be her safe place. The Prophet ﷺ spent time listening to his wives, racing with Aisha RA, and helping with housework.
*His key responsibilities:*
- *Financial maintenance:* Food, clothing, housing within his means — even if she’s wealthy.
- *Kind treatment:* No harm in words or actions. Anger should be swallowed, not thrown.
- *Religious guidance:* Helping her grow in deen, praying together, learning together.
- *Justice:* If he has more than one wife, he must be fair in time, spending, and treatment.
*The Prophet ﷺ said:* _“The most complete of believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are those who are best to their women.”_[Tirmidhi]
*2. The Rights of the Husband Upon His Wife*
*Allah says:*
_فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ_
_“So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in absence what Allah would have them guard.”_ [Surah An-Nisa 4:34]
Obedience here means cooperation in what is halal and pleasing to Allah — not in sin or abuse. There is no obedience to creation in disobedience to the Creator.
*Her key responsibilities:*
- *Guarding his rights:* His honor, wealth, and home when he’s absent.
- *Respect and cooperation:* Being a source of sakinah, not stress. Consulting him, supporting his halal decisions.
- *Protecting the home:* Creating peace, raising children upon Islam, keeping his secrets.
- *Intimacy:* Responding to his needs, as it protects both from haram.
*The Prophet ﷺ said:* _“When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.”_ [Bukhari & Muslim] — This shows how serious fulfilling each other’s needs is, because marriage is a protection.
*3. Mutual Rights — The Foundation of Rahmah*
Both owe each other:
- *Good character:* Smiling, forgiving, not keeping score.
- *Consultation:* _“And consult them in affairs”_ [3:159] — marriage is shura, not dictatorship.
- *Privacy:* Not exposing each other’s faults to others. The Prophet ﷺ said the worst people on Judgment Day are those who spread marital secrets.
- *Du’a for each other:* The strongest marriages are built on sajdah, not just romance.
*A Powerful Reminder*
Rights without responsibility turn into demands. Responsibility without mercy turns into burden. Islam balances both with _ihsan_ — excellence.
Many marriages break not because of lack of love, but because of lack of _adab_. You can be right and still be wrong in how you say it. You can provide for everything but starve her of kindness.
Shaytan’s happiest moment is when a husband and wife split. So every time you choose patience over pride, you defeat him.
*Final Reflection*
Marriage is not 50/50. It’s 100/100. You don’t do your part because they did theirs. You do it because Allah sees yours.
If both fear Allah regarding each other, the house becomes Jannah before Jannah.
May Allah grant us spouses who are the coolness of our eyes, and make us the same for them. May He fill our homes with sakinah, mawaddah, and rahmah. *Ameen.*
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Every woman who wants a successful relationship needs to understand male nature.
Men and women are not equal.
Men will:
• Stay silent when hurt.
• Think deeply but show less.
• Test loyalty through actions.
• Observe more than they speak.
• Lose interest when unappreciated.
• Avoid vulnerability as it’s high-risk.
• Stop explaining when misunderstood.
• Value peace of mind over attention.
• Distance themselves when disrespected.
Accept men as they are, not as you wish them to be ladies.
Men and women are not equal.
Men will:
• Stay silent when hurt.
• Think deeply but show less.
• Test loyalty through actions.
• Observe more than they speak.
• Lose interest when unappreciated.
• Avoid vulnerability as it’s high-risk.
• Stop explaining when misunderstood.
• Value peace of mind over attention.
• Distance themselves when disrespected.
Accept men as they are, not as you wish them to be ladies.
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The person you marry will affect your deen, sleep, your confidence, your decisions, and your sense of reality.
Attraction is not enough of a reason.
When someone cares about you, they care about the impact they have on you.
What to actually look for:
Taqwa in action.
Accountability without defensiveness. The ability to make you feel seen, not managed.
The strongest couples aren't perfect. They are accountable.
Attraction is not enough of a reason.
When someone cares about you, they care about the impact they have on you.
What to actually look for:
Taqwa in action.
Accountability without defensiveness. The ability to make you feel seen, not managed.
The strongest couples aren't perfect. They are accountable.
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Its funny how marriage is kind of like being selfish and selfless at the same time.
Half of marriage is coaching your spouse to fit your personality.
The other half of marriage is learning to accept your spouse's own unique personality without changing it.
We each have changeable and unchangeable aspects to our personality.
There are no ready-made spouses 100% tailored to your exact specifications.
You grow on each other. You learn to adapt and adjust to each other.
Marriage gets sweeter and more harmonious over time.
Having a sense of humor helps. 😂
Marriage involves constant compromise, negotiation, humility and acceptance with love.
May Allah grant all Muslim men and women beautiful marriages and strengthen our families, ameen!
Half of marriage is coaching your spouse to fit your personality.
The other half of marriage is learning to accept your spouse's own unique personality without changing it.
We each have changeable and unchangeable aspects to our personality.
There are no ready-made spouses 100% tailored to your exact specifications.
You grow on each other. You learn to adapt and adjust to each other.
Marriage gets sweeter and more harmonious over time.
Having a sense of humor helps. 😂
Marriage involves constant compromise, negotiation, humility and acceptance with love.
May Allah grant all Muslim men and women beautiful marriages and strengthen our families, ameen!
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Ibn Mas'ud said:
“A time will come upon you when if one of you were to find death being sold for a price, he would buy it. And a time will come upon you when a man will be envied for his light burden (i.e., lack of responsibilities or possessions), just as he is envied today for his abundance of wealth and children.”
كتاب الزهد للمعافى بن عمران الموصلي ص 185
“A time will come upon you when if one of you were to find death being sold for a price, he would buy it. And a time will come upon you when a man will be envied for his light burden (i.e., lack of responsibilities or possessions), just as he is envied today for his abundance of wealth and children.”
كتاب الزهد للمعافى بن عمران الموصلي ص 185
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If all men decide not to practice polygyny, there will be serious increase of baby mamas, side chickens, single mothers, divorcees .... current rates will be a joke. AlhamduliLah for Islam ...
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Some men cannot afford two wives at a time, so they decide to marry one for few months or years, then divorce to marry a new wife. This practice is so common. When you challenge these men, they will tell you, they are not committing fornication or adultery, it’s a marriage. They go further to explain that they did not force the women into the marriage. We should not be deceived by the social media stunts, where divorced women pretend as if they are happy being divorced.
What about the effect of divorce on these women and their children ? Who exactly are we divorcing them for? In the same society that is full of social vices like free sex, prostitution, pornography, masturbation etc. The next man coming the way of the divorced woman also wants to take advantage of her.
Immediately the news of a divorced woman is announced, different men submit their proposals, majority feel she’s vulnerable. Divorce does not improve the status of a sister. A man once said; 'divorcees are the most vulnerable women to exploit, you can get them so easily.."
The other men feel women are too many, so it is fun having them. We quickly rush to the public to condemn divorcees yet you have made one. We stigmatize and talk them down. Some men change wives like clothes. A man in the neighbourhood, marries a sister every one or two years. He has divorced many women, without considering the effects.
Let us fear Allah.
Abu Sheikh
What about the effect of divorce on these women and their children ? Who exactly are we divorcing them for? In the same society that is full of social vices like free sex, prostitution, pornography, masturbation etc. The next man coming the way of the divorced woman also wants to take advantage of her.
Immediately the news of a divorced woman is announced, different men submit their proposals, majority feel she’s vulnerable. Divorce does not improve the status of a sister. A man once said; 'divorcees are the most vulnerable women to exploit, you can get them so easily.."
The other men feel women are too many, so it is fun having them. We quickly rush to the public to condemn divorcees yet you have made one. We stigmatize and talk them down. Some men change wives like clothes. A man in the neighbourhood, marries a sister every one or two years. He has divorced many women, without considering the effects.
Let us fear Allah.
Abu Sheikh
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