"THE BEST LOVE
The best love is when you love someone who makes your faith peak, your soul mature, and your heart as soft as anything soft.
The best love is when you love someone who makes you eager to spread out your prayer mat every night.
The best love is when you love someone who washes away your sins, reminds you of goodness, and becomes a great advisor when your piety declines.
The best love is when you love someone who can be a comfort when your spirit is crushed.
The best love is someone who can be a home for you, dedicating their soul only to you.
The best love is someone who can bear the patience for your imperfections.
The best love is someone who can build a paradise for you."
The best love is when you love someone who makes your faith peak, your soul mature, and your heart as soft as anything soft.
The best love is when you love someone who makes you eager to spread out your prayer mat every night.
The best love is when you love someone who washes away your sins, reminds you of goodness, and becomes a great advisor when your piety declines.
The best love is when you love someone who can be a comfort when your spirit is crushed.
The best love is someone who can be a home for you, dedicating their soul only to you.
The best love is someone who can bear the patience for your imperfections.
The best love is someone who can build a paradise for you."
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Not every marriage breaks because the husband and wife stop loving each other.
Sometimes, constant interference from in-laws slowly destroys trust, communication, and peace inside the home.
Islam teaches us to maintain family ties while also respecting the privacy
Sometimes, constant interference from in-laws slowly destroys trust, communication, and peace inside the home.
Islam teaches us to maintain family ties while also respecting the privacy
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P*rn is digital zina. And zina doesn’t just kill iman. It kills barakah, peace, focus, and rizq.
May Allah protect Us 🥺🤲 Aameen
May Allah protect Us 🥺🤲 Aameen
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Without men's sacrifices, the institution of marriage will be ignored. This is the only gender that will work morning and night alone to feed his wife and children. They do the most difficult jobs just to put food on the table. A very little of his earnings benefit him directly. If man no dey, marriage no go sweet.
A woman with zero account will seek marriage, knowing that the man will provide shelter, clothing, feeding etc. Through marriage, a large percentage of women have escaped poverty and hopelessness. Men are very important to the survival of marriage.
Abu Sheikh
A woman with zero account will seek marriage, knowing that the man will provide shelter, clothing, feeding etc. Through marriage, a large percentage of women have escaped poverty and hopelessness. Men are very important to the survival of marriage.
Abu Sheikh
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🌿 A Precious Advice from Āsh-Shaykh al-Islām Ibn Taymiyah رحمه الله
«“If the woman's tongue is long, then her days will be few with her husband.”
(i.e., excessive harshness, argumentation, and hurtful speech can shorten the harmony and longevity of a marriage.)»
📚 Majmūʿ al-Fatāwā, 23/360
This statement is a reminder about the importance of good character and guarding one's tongue. In Islam, both husbands and wives are instructed to speak with kindness, patience, and respect.
Allah ﷻ says:
«“And speak to people good words.” (Qur'an 2:83)»
A home is built upon mercy, gentle speech, forgiveness, and mutual respect. Harsh words can destroy hearts, while kind words strengthen love and bring blessings to a marriage.
May Allah ﷻ bless our homes with love, wisdom, and beautiful speech. Āmīn.
«“If the woman's tongue is long, then her days will be few with her husband.”
(i.e., excessive harshness, argumentation, and hurtful speech can shorten the harmony and longevity of a marriage.)»
📚 Majmūʿ al-Fatāwā, 23/360
This statement is a reminder about the importance of good character and guarding one's tongue. In Islam, both husbands and wives are instructed to speak with kindness, patience, and respect.
Allah ﷻ says:
«“And speak to people good words.” (Qur'an 2:83)»
A home is built upon mercy, gentle speech, forgiveness, and mutual respect. Harsh words can destroy hearts, while kind words strengthen love and bring blessings to a marriage.
May Allah ﷻ bless our homes with love, wisdom, and beautiful speech. Āmīn.
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Modern women enter marriage with a dangerous mindset:
“I want a traditional man who leads and provides… but I’m a strong independent woman who doesn’t have to submit.”
That contradiction is why so many marriages turn into battlegrounds. She wants the benefits of old-school marriage without the responsibility. Men are paying the price with dead bedrooms, constant drama, and eventual divorce.
“I want a traditional man who leads and provides… but I’m a strong independent woman who doesn’t have to submit.”
That contradiction is why so many marriages turn into battlegrounds. She wants the benefits of old-school marriage without the responsibility. Men are paying the price with dead bedrooms, constant drama, and eventual divorce.
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Piety isn't sexually transmitted.
An upright brother marrying a street baddie, with the hopes of changing her ways after marriage is only deceiving himself
A conscious sister marrying an unreligious man, with the hopes of changing him after marriage will either remain stagnant spiritually herself, or go down the drain and become like him.
Birds of different feathers do not flock together.
Marry your kind, from your spiritual niche.
Many of the striving sisters who married carelessly ended up abandoning their JILBAAB for scarf.
Many of the striving brothers who compromised in their choice of spouse ended up becoming a shadow of themselves.
You can't sexually transmit righteousness to someone else.
People can abandon certain habits or some lifestyle traits because of their love for you, but they hardly change 100% because of you.
Whoever has to change completely can only do so for the sake of Allah, not for the sake of a mortal.
That's why some husbands who imposed the JILBAAB on ignorant ladies and married them off without having them learn Islam, once such men die or divorce them, the first thing such ladies would do is to dump the same Hijab.
Men have four attempts at marriage, if they get one wrong, they can correct their flaws in subsequent shots.
As a woman, you have only one shot, you have to hit the bull's eye by all means, if you get it wrong, you don't get another chance unless you pass through divorce ..
You can't afford to gamble with your choice of spouse. May Allah right our wrongs. Amin.
Aboo Banaat
An upright brother marrying a street baddie, with the hopes of changing her ways after marriage is only deceiving himself
A conscious sister marrying an unreligious man, with the hopes of changing him after marriage will either remain stagnant spiritually herself, or go down the drain and become like him.
Birds of different feathers do not flock together.
Marry your kind, from your spiritual niche.
Many of the striving sisters who married carelessly ended up abandoning their JILBAAB for scarf.
Many of the striving brothers who compromised in their choice of spouse ended up becoming a shadow of themselves.
You can't sexually transmit righteousness to someone else.
People can abandon certain habits or some lifestyle traits because of their love for you, but they hardly change 100% because of you.
Whoever has to change completely can only do so for the sake of Allah, not for the sake of a mortal.
That's why some husbands who imposed the JILBAAB on ignorant ladies and married them off without having them learn Islam, once such men die or divorce them, the first thing such ladies would do is to dump the same Hijab.
Men have four attempts at marriage, if they get one wrong, they can correct their flaws in subsequent shots.
As a woman, you have only one shot, you have to hit the bull's eye by all means, if you get it wrong, you don't get another chance unless you pass through divorce ..
You can't afford to gamble with your choice of spouse. May Allah right our wrongs. Amin.
Aboo Banaat
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I asked several divorced men that I work with:
"When do you know a woman is for keeps?"
This this is what he said,
-If a woman calls you baby, darling, babu, love, it means nothing.
-If a woman gets intimate with you, it means nothing.
-If a woman marries you, it means nothing.
-If a woman becomes the mother of your child, it means nothing.
-If she is doing things for you, it means nothing.
-If she disconnects from all the social media platforms for you, it means nothing.
If she respects you when life gets hard, if she stands beside you when things are heavy and ready to build a world with you, then she means everything.
"When do you know a woman is for keeps?"
This this is what he said,
-If a woman calls you baby, darling, babu, love, it means nothing.
-If a woman gets intimate with you, it means nothing.
-If a woman marries you, it means nothing.
-If a woman becomes the mother of your child, it means nothing.
-If she is doing things for you, it means nothing.
-If she disconnects from all the social media platforms for you, it means nothing.
If she respects you when life gets hard, if she stands beside you when things are heavy and ready to build a world with you, then she means everything.
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Forwarded from Muslim Health Tips
STOP MORNING CHAI — START NABEEZ (SUNNAT MORNING DRINK)
Most people start their day with chai or coffee on an empty stomach ☕
That’s why gas, acidity, bloating, low energy, and brain fog have become normal.
But Prophet Muhammad ﷺ followed a simple morning routine: @naveed.inshape
👉 Soak 2–3 dates in water overnight
👉 Drink the water and eat the dates in the morning
👉 This Sunnah drink is called NABEEZ
🌿 Benefits of Nabeez:
✔ Natural energy without caffeine
✔ Improves digestion
✔ Reduces acidity & bloating
✔ Hydrates the body after sleep
✔ Gentle on stomach & liver
✔ Sunnah-based wellness
⚠️ Important: Consume within 24 hours only (avoid fermentation).
Chai is a habit.
Nabeez is Sunnah.
Start tonight. Feel the difference tomorrow.
👉 Save this
👉 Share with your family
👉 Follow for Sunnah-based health
Most people start their day with chai or coffee on an empty stomach ☕
That’s why gas, acidity, bloating, low energy, and brain fog have become normal.
But Prophet Muhammad ﷺ followed a simple morning routine: @naveed.inshape
👉 Soak 2–3 dates in water overnight
👉 Drink the water and eat the dates in the morning
👉 This Sunnah drink is called NABEEZ
🌿 Benefits of Nabeez:
✔ Natural energy without caffeine
✔ Improves digestion
✔ Reduces acidity & bloating
✔ Hydrates the body after sleep
✔ Gentle on stomach & liver
✔ Sunnah-based wellness
⚠️ Important: Consume within 24 hours only (avoid fermentation).
Chai is a habit.
Nabeez is Sunnah.
Start tonight. Feel the difference tomorrow.
👉 Save this
👉 Share with your family
👉 Follow for Sunnah-based health
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Imam Shurayh رحمه الله said about his wife Zaynab:
“I have seen men beating their women. May my right-hand be paralyzed if I beat Zaynab. Zaynab is like a sun and other women are like stars, when the sun rises, other stars do not shine.”
[سير أعلام النبلاء ط الحديث ٥/٥٢]
“I have seen men beating their women. May my right-hand be paralyzed if I beat Zaynab. Zaynab is like a sun and other women are like stars, when the sun rises, other stars do not shine.”
[سير أعلام النبلاء ط الحديث ٥/٥٢]
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Daughters of a family with dominating mother and weak father are a problem. Every guy knows that.
But, sons of this family are also a problem. They usually have no spine. Because they take after their father.
If you as a woman marry this son, be ready for the MIL-DIL battle.
But, sons of this family are also a problem. They usually have no spine. Because they take after their father.
If you as a woman marry this son, be ready for the MIL-DIL battle.
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Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu Admin please post the messages.
Delayed marriages is the growing culture of lavish weddings and extravagant ceremonies. Many young men and women dream of grand celebrations, and in some cases, parents also encourage such expectations. While celebrating a marriage is perfectly permissible, making extravagance the standard has created unnecessary financial burdens on many families.
My humble request to everyone who is planning a luxurious wedding is this: if Allah has blessed you with wealth and the ability to spend generously, then alongside your own wedding, please consider helping a poor and deserving bride or groom get married. Help another family experience the joy of marriage. Show the world that your happiness is not only about yourself but also about bringing happiness to others. In shaa Allah, you will receive the sincere duas and blessings of the bride, the groom, their parents, and their families. More importantly, you will create a positive example that inspires others to do the same.
Sadly, because of the pressure to organize extravagant weddings, many poor parents sell their belongings, borrow money, or fall into heavy debt just to meet society's expectations. Some families become financially and emotionally devastated. Likewise, many young men and women also take loans simply to imitate the weddings of their relatives, friends, or people on social media. After marriage, they struggle with financial stress, arguments, frustration, and sometimes even separation and divorce because they begin their married life under the burden of debt.
This is why we should revive the beautiful Islamic principle: "Make marriage easy and zina difficult, not zina easy and marriage difficult."
To all my unmarried brothers: take the initiative. Be the generation that changes this trend. Choose simplicity over showing off, and seek a righteous, religious wife with good character.
To all my unmarried sisters: do not think that becoming a queen means marrying a wealthy man overnight. Instead, choose a righteous (Deendar) husband with good character, support him through life's journey, and together build a home based on love, faith, patience, and taqwa. In shaa Allah, by supporting each other, you will become his queen, and he will become your king in the true sense.
To all parents: please do not make dowry, wealth, social status, property, or physical beauty your main criteria. Beauty fades, wealth comes and goes, but Deen, good character, and righteousness remain among the greatest blessings. Choose spouses for your children for the sake of Allah and for the success of this world and the Hereafter.
If we sincerely remove these unnecessary customs and return to the guidance of Islam, we can reduce late marriages, unlawful relationships, financial burdens, family disputes, and divorces. In shaa Allah, our homes, our families, and our society will become stronger, happier, and more blessed.
May Allah ﷻ guide us all to what pleases Him, make marriage easy for every righteous Muslim, protect our youth from fitnah, bless our families with peace and barakah, and unite our hearts upon His guidance. Ameen.
Delayed marriages is the growing culture of lavish weddings and extravagant ceremonies. Many young men and women dream of grand celebrations, and in some cases, parents also encourage such expectations. While celebrating a marriage is perfectly permissible, making extravagance the standard has created unnecessary financial burdens on many families.
My humble request to everyone who is planning a luxurious wedding is this: if Allah has blessed you with wealth and the ability to spend generously, then alongside your own wedding, please consider helping a poor and deserving bride or groom get married. Help another family experience the joy of marriage. Show the world that your happiness is not only about yourself but also about bringing happiness to others. In shaa Allah, you will receive the sincere duas and blessings of the bride, the groom, their parents, and their families. More importantly, you will create a positive example that inspires others to do the same.
Sadly, because of the pressure to organize extravagant weddings, many poor parents sell their belongings, borrow money, or fall into heavy debt just to meet society's expectations. Some families become financially and emotionally devastated. Likewise, many young men and women also take loans simply to imitate the weddings of their relatives, friends, or people on social media. After marriage, they struggle with financial stress, arguments, frustration, and sometimes even separation and divorce because they begin their married life under the burden of debt.
This is why we should revive the beautiful Islamic principle: "Make marriage easy and zina difficult, not zina easy and marriage difficult."
To all my unmarried brothers: take the initiative. Be the generation that changes this trend. Choose simplicity over showing off, and seek a righteous, religious wife with good character.
To all my unmarried sisters: do not think that becoming a queen means marrying a wealthy man overnight. Instead, choose a righteous (Deendar) husband with good character, support him through life's journey, and together build a home based on love, faith, patience, and taqwa. In shaa Allah, by supporting each other, you will become his queen, and he will become your king in the true sense.
To all parents: please do not make dowry, wealth, social status, property, or physical beauty your main criteria. Beauty fades, wealth comes and goes, but Deen, good character, and righteousness remain among the greatest blessings. Choose spouses for your children for the sake of Allah and for the success of this world and the Hereafter.
If we sincerely remove these unnecessary customs and return to the guidance of Islam, we can reduce late marriages, unlawful relationships, financial burdens, family disputes, and divorces. In shaa Allah, our homes, our families, and our society will become stronger, happier, and more blessed.
May Allah ﷻ guide us all to what pleases Him, make marriage easy for every righteous Muslim, protect our youth from fitnah, bless our families with peace and barakah, and unite our hearts upon His guidance. Ameen.
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When Marital advice is Hardly Useful
Why are modern relationships breaking down faster than ever before? It often comes down to the type of advice we choose to listen to. In a world pushing for immediate exits and no fault divorces, true resilience is found in reconciliation.
True partnership is not about finding a flawless companion because perfection simply does not exist. It is about how two people manage their imperfections together. Resolving conflict successfully requires practical tools: learning when to stay quiet, shifting away from blame culture during discussions, and understanding that compromise is a strength rather than a weakness.
Why are modern relationships breaking down faster than ever before? It often comes down to the type of advice we choose to listen to. In a world pushing for immediate exits and no fault divorces, true resilience is found in reconciliation.
True partnership is not about finding a flawless companion because perfection simply does not exist. It is about how two people manage their imperfections together. Resolving conflict successfully requires practical tools: learning when to stay quiet, shifting away from blame culture during discussions, and understanding that compromise is a strength rather than a weakness.
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If women are not selfish for getting married to any man of their choice, then men shouldn't be criticised for the same purpose. It is not possible for every woman out there to struggle with men. Some will marry established men. It is like saying everyone seeking employment must start with a new company. Some of us are working in places founded years before we were born.
We have concluded that divorcees and widows are women in need, so they should be married by brothers seeking plural marriage, this is not absolute, because our beloved prophet (saw) married a previously married woman, to start with. We should stop making it look like the married men are preventing the single brothers from getting ready, the opportunity is open, only those who are ready to shoulder the responsibilities should be seen at the corridor of marriage.
Who says a single sister is not in need? Everyone is in need, and interestingly, humans search for what will benefit them. Both brothers and sisters get into marriage with personal reasons, gains, and benefits, and once these objectives are not against religion, then we are good to go.
A sister gets married because of affection, intimacy, romance, and sex. She does not want to commit sin. Is she selfish, too? She wants to get married because she needs shelter, protection, and finance. Is she selfish, too? She needs a responsible husband that Allah will use in making her a mother, having beautiful children. Is she selfish, too? When she discovers that her marriage was not working, she divorced and remarried. Is she selfish, too?
Muslim men are designed for Muslim women, we know some are not suitable as we have in the other gender, but the good ones must be encouraged to continue to be responsible because they are individuals billed to tie the knot with the single, divorced and widowed sisters in monogamous or polygamous marriage, we indeed desire strong marital relationships for the growth of the ummah.
Always pay attention to details.
Abu Sheikh
We have concluded that divorcees and widows are women in need, so they should be married by brothers seeking plural marriage, this is not absolute, because our beloved prophet (saw) married a previously married woman, to start with. We should stop making it look like the married men are preventing the single brothers from getting ready, the opportunity is open, only those who are ready to shoulder the responsibilities should be seen at the corridor of marriage.
Who says a single sister is not in need? Everyone is in need, and interestingly, humans search for what will benefit them. Both brothers and sisters get into marriage with personal reasons, gains, and benefits, and once these objectives are not against religion, then we are good to go.
A sister gets married because of affection, intimacy, romance, and sex. She does not want to commit sin. Is she selfish, too? She wants to get married because she needs shelter, protection, and finance. Is she selfish, too? She needs a responsible husband that Allah will use in making her a mother, having beautiful children. Is she selfish, too? When she discovers that her marriage was not working, she divorced and remarried. Is she selfish, too?
Muslim men are designed for Muslim women, we know some are not suitable as we have in the other gender, but the good ones must be encouraged to continue to be responsible because they are individuals billed to tie the knot with the single, divorced and widowed sisters in monogamous or polygamous marriage, we indeed desire strong marital relationships for the growth of the ummah.
Always pay attention to details.
Abu Sheikh
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Some of the major reasons behind late marriages in our society are:
1. Unnecessary demands from both the bride's and groom's families.
2. The burden of dowry.
3. Unrealistic expectations regarding wealth, beauty, status, property, and lifestyle.
4. Delaying marriage while trying to become financially independent.
5. Weakness in practicing Islam (Deen).
6. The spread of affairs and an unhealthy social environment.
7. Misunderstanding Islamic teachings, including treating polygamy as if it is a sin.
One point I would especially like to mention is that many people, especially in today's society, treat polygamy as something forbidden or sinful. However, in Islam, polygamy is a Sunnah and is permissible only if a man is able to do complete justice between his wives—financially, emotionally, physically, sincerely, punctually, and in every other right that Allah has commanded. If a man cannot do justice, then he should marry only one. Therefore, we should not treat something that Allah has made permissible as if it is a sin.
Another major reason for late marriages is that many young men and women spend years trying to become completely independent before getting married. During this process, their age keeps increasing, and marriage gets delayed.
Dowry is another serious problem. On one side, many parents of daughters look for a groom who is very wealthy, owns a house, has a high-paying job or a successful business, and they want their daughter to live separately from her in-laws. On the other side, many families of sons demand a very beautiful bride along with dowry, such as gold, a car, a bike, expensive gifts, and many other things.
Wealthy families may be able to fulfill these demands, but poor families suffer the most. Because of these expectations, many marriages are delayed, and in some cases, this also leads to unlawful relationships and affairs.
If every parent and every young man and woman sincerely decides to perform marriages at the right time, many of these problems can be reduced. Instead of giving priority to beauty, wealth, property, or social status, we should give priority to good character (Akhlaq), good manners, religious commitment (Deen), and righteousness.
Parents should also focus on raising their children with strong Islamic values from a young age. Along with worldly education, they should provide proper Islamic education, teach good manners, and build strong character.
Parents should know where their sons and daughters are going, who their friends are, what kind of company they keep, what activities they are involved in, and whether they return home on time. This responsibility applies equally to both boys and girls. Proper guidance and supervision can help protect children from bad company, affairs, and harmful influences.
Parents themselves should also practice Islam and become good role models for their children. Children learn more from what they see than from what they are told.
My humble request is that not only parents but also elder brothers and sisters should take responsibility for guiding their younger siblings according to Islam. They should support them, advise them with wisdom, and help them remain firm upon Deen.
If every family fulfills these responsibilities, In shaa Allah, we can improve our society, reduce many of today's problems, and create a healthier environment for future generations.
Finally, let us all make sincere dua that Allah ﷻ grants every Muslim goodness, safety, and well-being in this world and the Hereafter, blesses our families with righteous spouses, protects our youth from fitnah, and grants success to everyone. Ameen.
1. Unnecessary demands from both the bride's and groom's families.
2. The burden of dowry.
3. Unrealistic expectations regarding wealth, beauty, status, property, and lifestyle.
4. Delaying marriage while trying to become financially independent.
5. Weakness in practicing Islam (Deen).
6. The spread of affairs and an unhealthy social environment.
7. Misunderstanding Islamic teachings, including treating polygamy as if it is a sin.
One point I would especially like to mention is that many people, especially in today's society, treat polygamy as something forbidden or sinful. However, in Islam, polygamy is a Sunnah and is permissible only if a man is able to do complete justice between his wives—financially, emotionally, physically, sincerely, punctually, and in every other right that Allah has commanded. If a man cannot do justice, then he should marry only one. Therefore, we should not treat something that Allah has made permissible as if it is a sin.
Another major reason for late marriages is that many young men and women spend years trying to become completely independent before getting married. During this process, their age keeps increasing, and marriage gets delayed.
Dowry is another serious problem. On one side, many parents of daughters look for a groom who is very wealthy, owns a house, has a high-paying job or a successful business, and they want their daughter to live separately from her in-laws. On the other side, many families of sons demand a very beautiful bride along with dowry, such as gold, a car, a bike, expensive gifts, and many other things.
Wealthy families may be able to fulfill these demands, but poor families suffer the most. Because of these expectations, many marriages are delayed, and in some cases, this also leads to unlawful relationships and affairs.
If every parent and every young man and woman sincerely decides to perform marriages at the right time, many of these problems can be reduced. Instead of giving priority to beauty, wealth, property, or social status, we should give priority to good character (Akhlaq), good manners, religious commitment (Deen), and righteousness.
Parents should also focus on raising their children with strong Islamic values from a young age. Along with worldly education, they should provide proper Islamic education, teach good manners, and build strong character.
Parents should know where their sons and daughters are going, who their friends are, what kind of company they keep, what activities they are involved in, and whether they return home on time. This responsibility applies equally to both boys and girls. Proper guidance and supervision can help protect children from bad company, affairs, and harmful influences.
Parents themselves should also practice Islam and become good role models for their children. Children learn more from what they see than from what they are told.
My humble request is that not only parents but also elder brothers and sisters should take responsibility for guiding their younger siblings according to Islam. They should support them, advise them with wisdom, and help them remain firm upon Deen.
If every family fulfills these responsibilities, In shaa Allah, we can improve our society, reduce many of today's problems, and create a healthier environment for future generations.
Finally, let us all make sincere dua that Allah ﷻ grants every Muslim goodness, safety, and well-being in this world and the Hereafter, blesses our families with righteous spouses, protects our youth from fitnah, and grants success to everyone. Ameen.
💯18
Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه married 4 times
Umar رضي الله عنه married at least 7 times.
Uthman رضي الله عنه married around 8 times.
Ali رضي الله عنه married around 9 times (after the death of Fatimah رضي الله عنها).
The greatest generation of this Ummah did not view multiple marriages as something shameful or strange. They viewed marriage as a noble Sunnah.
Umar رضي الله عنه married at least 7 times.
Uthman رضي الله عنه married around 8 times.
Ali رضي الله عنه married around 9 times (after the death of Fatimah رضي الله عنها).
The greatest generation of this Ummah did not view multiple marriages as something shameful or strange. They viewed marriage as a noble Sunnah.
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Du'a For Allah's Love
"O Allah, I ask You for Your love, the love of those who love You, and the love of every deed that brings me closer to Your love."
اللَّهُمَّ إنَّي أُسألُكَ حُبّكَ، وَحُبَّ مَنْ يُحِبُكَ، وَحُبَّ عَمَلِ يُقَرَّبُنِي إلَى حُبِّكَ
Allahumma inni as'aluka hubbaka, wa hubba man yuhibbuka, wa hubba 'amalin yuqarribuni ila hubbika.
📚[Tirmidhi 3490]
"O Allah, I ask You for Your love, the love of those who love You, and the love of every deed that brings me closer to Your love."
اللَّهُمَّ إنَّي أُسألُكَ حُبّكَ، وَحُبَّ مَنْ يُحِبُكَ، وَحُبَّ عَمَلِ يُقَرَّبُنِي إلَى حُبِّكَ
Allahumma inni as'aluka hubbaka, wa hubba man yuhibbuka, wa hubba 'amalin yuqarribuni ila hubbika.
📚[Tirmidhi 3490]
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What Do People Look For in Marriage Today?
In today's time, many people no longer begin their search for a spouse by asking the most important questions.
They rarely ask:
- Does he pray his five daily prayers?
- Does he follow the Qur'an and Sunnah?
- Does he have good manners and character?
- Does he fear Allah in private and public?
- Does he respect his parents and other people?
- Does he regularly attend the mosque?
- Is she sincere in her worship?
- Does she strive to obey Allah?
Instead, the first questions often become:
- Is he rich?
- Is he good-looking?
- Is she beautiful?
- What degree does he have?
- Which university did he attend?
- What is his salary?
- Does he own a house?
- What car does he drive?
- What social status does the family have?
There is nothing wrong with considering wealth, education, beauty, or financial stability. Islam does not prohibit these things. However, the problem begins when these factors become more important than faith and character.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ taught that religion and character should be given great importance when choosing a spouse. Wealth can disappear. Beauty fades with age. Jobs can be lost. Houses and possessions can be taken away. But sincere faith, good character, honesty, patience, and fear of Allah remain valuable throughout life.
Many marriages begin with attraction to wealth or appearance but struggle when faced with trials because the foundation was weak. A marriage built upon taqwa (consciousness of Allah), mutual respect, patience, and obedience to Allah has a stronger chance of surviving difficulties.
A person who fears Allah is more likely to be truthful, loyal, respectful, and just toward their spouse. A person who values prayer and obedience to Allah understands that marriage is not merely a contract between two people; it is an act of worship and a responsibility before Allah.
As Muslims, we should not allow society to convince us that success in marriage is measured only by income, status, degrees, or possessions. The true success of a marriage is found in faith, righteousness, mercy, and helping one another reach Jannah.
Before asking, "How much does he earn?" perhaps we should first ask, "How is his relationship with Allah?"
Before asking, "Which university did she attend?" perhaps we should first ask, "How is her character and her commitment to Islam?"
Because in the end, a spouse who brings you closer to Allah is a greater blessing than any worldly possession.
In today's time, many people no longer begin their search for a spouse by asking the most important questions.
They rarely ask:
- Does he pray his five daily prayers?
- Does he follow the Qur'an and Sunnah?
- Does he have good manners and character?
- Does he fear Allah in private and public?
- Does he respect his parents and other people?
- Does he regularly attend the mosque?
- Is she sincere in her worship?
- Does she strive to obey Allah?
Instead, the first questions often become:
- Is he rich?
- Is he good-looking?
- Is she beautiful?
- What degree does he have?
- Which university did he attend?
- What is his salary?
- Does he own a house?
- What car does he drive?
- What social status does the family have?
There is nothing wrong with considering wealth, education, beauty, or financial stability. Islam does not prohibit these things. However, the problem begins when these factors become more important than faith and character.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ taught that religion and character should be given great importance when choosing a spouse. Wealth can disappear. Beauty fades with age. Jobs can be lost. Houses and possessions can be taken away. But sincere faith, good character, honesty, patience, and fear of Allah remain valuable throughout life.
Many marriages begin with attraction to wealth or appearance but struggle when faced with trials because the foundation was weak. A marriage built upon taqwa (consciousness of Allah), mutual respect, patience, and obedience to Allah has a stronger chance of surviving difficulties.
A person who fears Allah is more likely to be truthful, loyal, respectful, and just toward their spouse. A person who values prayer and obedience to Allah understands that marriage is not merely a contract between two people; it is an act of worship and a responsibility before Allah.
As Muslims, we should not allow society to convince us that success in marriage is measured only by income, status, degrees, or possessions. The true success of a marriage is found in faith, righteousness, mercy, and helping one another reach Jannah.
Before asking, "How much does he earn?" perhaps we should first ask, "How is his relationship with Allah?"
Before asking, "Which university did she attend?" perhaps we should first ask, "How is her character and her commitment to Islam?"
Because in the end, a spouse who brings you closer to Allah is a greater blessing than any worldly possession.
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Muslim Marriage Tips
Photo
Polygany
HEAL, FIND LOVE, MARRY
Recently, a widow with 4 kids who has tried unsuccessfully to remarry sent me messages expressing her frustration and blaming men who have refused to dualise, women who antagonise dualisation, and religious leaders who have not been paying attention to the travails of single mothers.
I perfectly understand her frustration especially given that she's still within that full cycle of adulthood where experts claim women's sexual drive is usually craziest. Again, given that one of the functions of marriage in Islam is to protect the woman and provide her economic and financial security, one cannot but empathise with a widow raising 4 kids in this period of harsh economic realities.
In a sane society, such women should enjoy some social security benefits from the Muslim treasury to be able to raise responsible children for the Ummah. As a civil servant, she spends her earnings on herself and her kids without any support from her late husband's relatives.
However, the issue of most prospective dualists not considering widows and divorcees, especially those with kids is a multilayered one. Some of the faults can be traced to the women themselves, and some to the men. Here are a few points to consider:
1. Extra financial burden especially when she has kids. For most prospective dualists, marrying a virgin lady is more suitable for their financial situation given that they are likely to have had kids from their existing marriage. Adding the extra cost of feeding and tuition (where their father abdicates responsibility) could potentially impoverish them.
2. Emotional attachment to their exes: A lot of women in that situation usually find it difficult to detach themselves from their ex husbands, especially if they are still alive. The fact that issues about the kids would continue to generate discussions between them makes it difficult for them to detach themselves completely from their past.
3. Senseless comparison: Some women with previous marital experience oftentimes compare their current marriage to their previous one. Some go to the extent of stating it clearly to their new husband that their former husband was better. This, no doubt destroys marital bliss.
4. Unhealthy jealousy for their kids: Some women would create an unhealthy environment for their new husband by demanding same and equal treatment of their kids. Some will even get to the extent of fighting their new husbands on this issue. While it is noble and rewarding for men to treat their stepchildren like their own, they are not obligated to do so.
5. Gross ingratitude: While the foundation of marriage is love, one of its bases is also mercy and empathy. For some men, marrying women in such situations is actually more of empathy than affection. It is more of sacrifice than satisfaction of carnal desire. For a man who shows a high level of responsibility, being ungrateful both in words and actions is the worst mistake any woman can make. Responsible men love to be appreciated with the same energy as their responsibility.
Generally, women in such situations should find time to heal completely through counselling, and find love before seeking a new marriage. They must detach themselves completely from their previous marriage and accept their current reality. If you have not healed and moved on from your previous marriage, do not seek a new one.
Don't carry your old scars to your new home. Don't destroy yourself!
Sanusi Lafiagi
HEAL, FIND LOVE, MARRY
Recently, a widow with 4 kids who has tried unsuccessfully to remarry sent me messages expressing her frustration and blaming men who have refused to dualise, women who antagonise dualisation, and religious leaders who have not been paying attention to the travails of single mothers.
I perfectly understand her frustration especially given that she's still within that full cycle of adulthood where experts claim women's sexual drive is usually craziest. Again, given that one of the functions of marriage in Islam is to protect the woman and provide her economic and financial security, one cannot but empathise with a widow raising 4 kids in this period of harsh economic realities.
In a sane society, such women should enjoy some social security benefits from the Muslim treasury to be able to raise responsible children for the Ummah. As a civil servant, she spends her earnings on herself and her kids without any support from her late husband's relatives.
However, the issue of most prospective dualists not considering widows and divorcees, especially those with kids is a multilayered one. Some of the faults can be traced to the women themselves, and some to the men. Here are a few points to consider:
1. Extra financial burden especially when she has kids. For most prospective dualists, marrying a virgin lady is more suitable for their financial situation given that they are likely to have had kids from their existing marriage. Adding the extra cost of feeding and tuition (where their father abdicates responsibility) could potentially impoverish them.
2. Emotional attachment to their exes: A lot of women in that situation usually find it difficult to detach themselves from their ex husbands, especially if they are still alive. The fact that issues about the kids would continue to generate discussions between them makes it difficult for them to detach themselves completely from their past.
3. Senseless comparison: Some women with previous marital experience oftentimes compare their current marriage to their previous one. Some go to the extent of stating it clearly to their new husband that their former husband was better. This, no doubt destroys marital bliss.
4. Unhealthy jealousy for their kids: Some women would create an unhealthy environment for their new husband by demanding same and equal treatment of their kids. Some will even get to the extent of fighting their new husbands on this issue. While it is noble and rewarding for men to treat their stepchildren like their own, they are not obligated to do so.
5. Gross ingratitude: While the foundation of marriage is love, one of its bases is also mercy and empathy. For some men, marrying women in such situations is actually more of empathy than affection. It is more of sacrifice than satisfaction of carnal desire. For a man who shows a high level of responsibility, being ungrateful both in words and actions is the worst mistake any woman can make. Responsible men love to be appreciated with the same energy as their responsibility.
Generally, women in such situations should find time to heal completely through counselling, and find love before seeking a new marriage. They must detach themselves completely from their previous marriage and accept their current reality. If you have not healed and moved on from your previous marriage, do not seek a new one.
Don't carry your old scars to your new home. Don't destroy yourself!
Sanusi Lafiagi
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