The Advice of Umāmah Bint Al-Hārith To Her Daughter Umm Iyyās on The Night of Her Marriage
Umāmah Bint Al-Hārith said to her daughter when she was being sent off to her husband:
❝My dear daughter, if advice were to be left off due to the refinement of one's manners then you would be in no need of that. However, it is a reminder for the heedless and useful tool for the intelligent. If it were that a woman could go without a husband due to the wealth of her parents and their great need for her then you would be the least of the people in need for that. However, the women have been created for the men and the men for the women.
My dear daughter, you have left the environment from which you have sprouted and left the life which you have grown up in, going to a home that you do not know and a companion that you are unfamiliar with. He has become, by his authority over you, an overseer and a king. So be a slave to him and he will be a willing servant to you.
My dear daughter, take from me ten qualities and they will be for you an asset and a reminder:
Accompany him in contentment and be amicable with him by hearing and obeying.
Safeguard where his eyes land and safeguard what his nose smells, so that his eyes never see anything ugly from you and his nose never smells any repugnant odor. Kohl is the best make-up and water [i.e., good hygiene] is the best perfume.
Safeguard his meal times and keep tranquil his sleep times. The heat of hunger is infuriating and deprivation of sleep is irritating.
Safeguard his home and his money and take good care of him, his relatives, and take care of his children. Safeguarding his money is a sign of good judgement and taking care of his children and relatives is a sign of good management.
Don't spread his secrets and don't disobey his commands. If you spread his secrets you will not be safe of him lying to you and if you oppose his commands he will resent you.
Beware of displaying joy when he is upset and and sadness when he is happy. The first is irresponsible and the second is antagonistic.
The more you honor him the more veneration he will have for you; the more you are in agreement with him the longer your time will be with him.
And know, that you will not attain that which you want from him until you give preference to pleasing him over pleasing yourself and to his desire over your own in whether you like it or not. And may Allāh give good to all.❞
[Bulūgh Al-Arb By Al-Alūsī, (2/19)]
Umāmah Bint Al-Hārith said to her daughter when she was being sent off to her husband:
❝My dear daughter, if advice were to be left off due to the refinement of one's manners then you would be in no need of that. However, it is a reminder for the heedless and useful tool for the intelligent. If it were that a woman could go without a husband due to the wealth of her parents and their great need for her then you would be the least of the people in need for that. However, the women have been created for the men and the men for the women.
My dear daughter, you have left the environment from which you have sprouted and left the life which you have grown up in, going to a home that you do not know and a companion that you are unfamiliar with. He has become, by his authority over you, an overseer and a king. So be a slave to him and he will be a willing servant to you.
My dear daughter, take from me ten qualities and they will be for you an asset and a reminder:
Accompany him in contentment and be amicable with him by hearing and obeying.
Safeguard where his eyes land and safeguard what his nose smells, so that his eyes never see anything ugly from you and his nose never smells any repugnant odor. Kohl is the best make-up and water [i.e., good hygiene] is the best perfume.
Safeguard his meal times and keep tranquil his sleep times. The heat of hunger is infuriating and deprivation of sleep is irritating.
Safeguard his home and his money and take good care of him, his relatives, and take care of his children. Safeguarding his money is a sign of good judgement and taking care of his children and relatives is a sign of good management.
Don't spread his secrets and don't disobey his commands. If you spread his secrets you will not be safe of him lying to you and if you oppose his commands he will resent you.
Beware of displaying joy when he is upset and and sadness when he is happy. The first is irresponsible and the second is antagonistic.
The more you honor him the more veneration he will have for you; the more you are in agreement with him the longer your time will be with him.
And know, that you will not attain that which you want from him until you give preference to pleasing him over pleasing yourself and to his desire over your own in whether you like it or not. And may Allāh give good to all.❞
[Bulūgh Al-Arb By Al-Alūsī, (2/19)]
👍12⚡1
A strong sexual bond in a marriage creates a united front of two parents who are operating in a mutually beneficial partnership. That strong sexual bond creates a bond that extends to all other areas of married life, from financial struggles, parenting challenges, and countless other problems that life seems to throw our way and knock us off course and break up a home.
💯26👍3
TOO YOUNG FOR MARRIAGE, BUT OLD ENOUGH TO FORNICATE
Why delay marriage when your body is calling for the enjoyment that is only permissible and rewarding for those who are legally married?
When you tell them "come and marry me" they will say "Do you think marriage is easy"
Sister! And you allow him to keep fornicating with you.
Marriage isn't easy, but zina (illegal sexual intercourse) is.
Who has made Fornication easy? Is it the Brother, Sister or their Families?
Na'uzubillah 😰😰😰
Zina is one of the major sins after shirk (associating partners with Allâh) which can lead one to Jahannam (hell). Fear Allâh to Whom you shall return, the punishment of Allâh is indeed severe and unbearable.
Why delay marriage when your body is calling for the enjoyment that is only permissible and rewarding for those who are legally married?
When you tell them "come and marry me" they will say "Do you think marriage is easy"
Sister! And you allow him to keep fornicating with you.
Marriage isn't easy, but zina (illegal sexual intercourse) is.
Who has made Fornication easy? Is it the Brother, Sister or their Families?
Na'uzubillah 😰😰😰
Zina is one of the major sins after shirk (associating partners with Allâh) which can lead one to Jahannam (hell). Fear Allâh to Whom you shall return, the punishment of Allâh is indeed severe and unbearable.
💯10😢9👍1
APPRECIATE YOUR SPOUSE BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.
While you’re busy building a life together, don’t forget the one who has been giving so much of their own life for your family.
To the husband who works tirelessly to provide, carrying the weight of responsibility so his family can live with dignity—may Allah reward every honest effort.
To the wife who carried your child for nine months, endured the pain of childbirth, stayed awake through countless sleepless nights, prepared meals, cared for the home, and gave so much of herself in silence—may Allah reward every unseen sacrifice.
Behind every family are two hearts making sacrifices that are often unnoticed.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “The best of you are those who are best to their wives.” And Allah says, “He placed between you affection and mercy.” (Qur’an 30:21)
Don’t let pride, busyness, or routine stop you from saying, “Thank you,” “I appreciate you,” or “I love you.” Speak kindly. Forgive quickly. Help one another. Make du’aa for each other.
Don’t wait until one voice is silenced and all that’s left are tears and regrets. The flowers placed on a grave will never replace the love, gratitude, and mercy that could have been shown while they were alive. 🥹
Love your spouse today. Appreciate them today. Because tomorrow is never promised.
May Allah fill every marriage with sakīnah (tranquility), mawaddah (love), and rahmah (mercy), and make us among those who honor the blessing of our spouses before it’s too late. 🥀
While you’re busy building a life together, don’t forget the one who has been giving so much of their own life for your family.
To the husband who works tirelessly to provide, carrying the weight of responsibility so his family can live with dignity—may Allah reward every honest effort.
To the wife who carried your child for nine months, endured the pain of childbirth, stayed awake through countless sleepless nights, prepared meals, cared for the home, and gave so much of herself in silence—may Allah reward every unseen sacrifice.
Behind every family are two hearts making sacrifices that are often unnoticed.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “The best of you are those who are best to their wives.” And Allah says, “He placed between you affection and mercy.” (Qur’an 30:21)
Don’t let pride, busyness, or routine stop you from saying, “Thank you,” “I appreciate you,” or “I love you.” Speak kindly. Forgive quickly. Help one another. Make du’aa for each other.
Don’t wait until one voice is silenced and all that’s left are tears and regrets. The flowers placed on a grave will never replace the love, gratitude, and mercy that could have been shown while they were alive. 🥹
Love your spouse today. Appreciate them today. Because tomorrow is never promised.
May Allah fill every marriage with sakīnah (tranquility), mawaddah (love), and rahmah (mercy), and make us among those who honor the blessing of our spouses before it’s too late. 🥀
💯12🕊4😢3👍1
Ibn al Jawzi رحمه الله said,
“Perhaps a marriage might result in a child like Ash Shafi or Ahmad ibn Hanbal; such an outcome would be better than a thousand years of worship.”
[تلبيس إبليس 263]
“Perhaps a marriage might result in a child like Ash Shafi or Ahmad ibn Hanbal; such an outcome would be better than a thousand years of worship.”
[تلبيس إبليس 263]
💯31👍5🕊3💔2
The story of a young Man who had a habit of looking at women
This young man asked Sheik : I feel guilty about myself for a bad habit i am unable to get rid off !
I can’t stop myself from looking at girls in the market, what should I do?
Sheikh gave him a glass full of milk which was filled upto its edges and asked one of his student to accompany him to the market.
He told his student to beat him in front of everyone if he spilled even a drop of milk.
Ofcourse the young man managed to walk without spilling a drop of milk and returned to the sheikh.
Sheikh asked : How many girls did u see on your way ??
The young man replied: I didn’t see anyone around me as my concentration was only on the glass of milk because i was scared of getting beaten up in front of everyone if i spill milk.
Sheikh Replied: The same is the case with a true Momin/Muslim.
The true believer is afraid of ALLAH and shame on the day of resurrection if he commits a sin …
These believers protect themselves from committing sin as they are always FOCUSED ON THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT !!
ALLAH says In the Holy Quran:
Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, ALLAH is all-aware of what they do.
Al Quran : Surah AL-Noor Verse No. 30.
May Allah protect us from looking at haram things…Ameen…!
This young man asked Sheik : I feel guilty about myself for a bad habit i am unable to get rid off !
I can’t stop myself from looking at girls in the market, what should I do?
Sheikh gave him a glass full of milk which was filled upto its edges and asked one of his student to accompany him to the market.
He told his student to beat him in front of everyone if he spilled even a drop of milk.
Ofcourse the young man managed to walk without spilling a drop of milk and returned to the sheikh.
Sheikh asked : How many girls did u see on your way ??
The young man replied: I didn’t see anyone around me as my concentration was only on the glass of milk because i was scared of getting beaten up in front of everyone if i spill milk.
Sheikh Replied: The same is the case with a true Momin/Muslim.
The true believer is afraid of ALLAH and shame on the day of resurrection if he commits a sin …
These believers protect themselves from committing sin as they are always FOCUSED ON THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT !!
ALLAH says In the Holy Quran:
Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, ALLAH is all-aware of what they do.
Al Quran : Surah AL-Noor Verse No. 30.
May Allah protect us from looking at haram things…Ameen…!
💯25👍4😢2
Nikah OR Haram Relationship...??
Have you ever imagined a bride being pregnant before Nikah..? Well, that's pretty common in Europe & America among both the Christians & Jews.. And it's totally Haram in Islam and may lead to Jahannum.!
Dear sister / brothers,
👉🏼Engagement is not Nikah
👉🏼Court Marriage is not Nikah
👉🏼Will you marry me is not Nikah
👉🏼His/Her parents already know me well is not Nikah
👉🏼Remember your Fiancee is not your spouse
👉🏼You don't own his/her body and you can't demand for it.!
👉🏼Nikah which meets all the shariah conditions is the only licence to have sex.
Sisters, you are not...
A piece of Chocolate, so no tasting... He wants to know if you are good in bed.. You are not a store sample... He wants to know if you are fertile, you are not a lab rat... You come a with a price (Dowry/Mahr) and with respect & honour... Don't you..??
Some valuables come with nice packaging and until their full price is paid, you can't open to see what's inside.
A man who demands sex from you before marriage will ruin your relationship with Allah. And you will be left no where.. So be wise and don't become the prey for the lust of someone.. He is not worthy of you.
And finally, when the Sins blind our eyes, we claim Love is blind and we accuse shaytaan for the Haram we committed.!
I have dealt with cases where sisters fall into Haram relationships before marriage and outside marriage and ruin their Duniya as well as Aakhirah.!!
Remember Allah is watching us all the time and we are answerable for our every single action.
Have you ever imagined a bride being pregnant before Nikah..? Well, that's pretty common in Europe & America among both the Christians & Jews.. And it's totally Haram in Islam and may lead to Jahannum.!
Dear sister / brothers,
👉🏼Engagement is not Nikah
👉🏼Court Marriage is not Nikah
👉🏼Will you marry me is not Nikah
👉🏼His/Her parents already know me well is not Nikah
👉🏼Remember your Fiancee is not your spouse
👉🏼You don't own his/her body and you can't demand for it.!
👉🏼Nikah which meets all the shariah conditions is the only licence to have sex.
Sisters, you are not...
A piece of Chocolate, so no tasting... He wants to know if you are good in bed.. You are not a store sample... He wants to know if you are fertile, you are not a lab rat... You come a with a price (Dowry/Mahr) and with respect & honour... Don't you..??
Some valuables come with nice packaging and until their full price is paid, you can't open to see what's inside.
A man who demands sex from you before marriage will ruin your relationship with Allah. And you will be left no where.. So be wise and don't become the prey for the lust of someone.. He is not worthy of you.
And finally, when the Sins blind our eyes, we claim Love is blind and we accuse shaytaan for the Haram we committed.!
I have dealt with cases where sisters fall into Haram relationships before marriage and outside marriage and ruin their Duniya as well as Aakhirah.!!
Remember Allah is watching us all the time and we are answerable for our every single action.
⚡12💯12👍6
PRICE FOR TRUE LOVE
Questioner: Someone who loves a person for the sake of ALLĀH, must he say, "I love you for the sake of ALLĀH," to him?
Sheikh Al-Albāni: Yes, but loving for the sake of ALLĀH has a huge price, only very few people pay it. Do you know what the price for loving someone for ALLĀH’s sake is? Do any of you know the price?
Someone present: The Most High said,
وَٱلۡعَصۡرِ ۞ إِنَّ ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ لَفِی خُسۡرٍ ۞ إِلَّا ٱلَّذِینَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ وَتَوَاصَوۡا۟ بِٱلۡحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوۡا۟ بِٱلصَّبۡرِ
By Time! Indeed, mankind is in loss. Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience. (Al-Asr: 1-3)
Sheikh Al-Albāni: Well done. That is the answer.
And an explanation of that is that if I really love you for the sake of ALLĀH I would persist in advising you, and you would do the same. Persevering in advising one another is very rare between those who claim to love each other, this love might have some sincerity in it, but it is not complete, because we try to make an allowance for the other, afraid that the other person will become angry, that he will flee … and so on.
It is in light of this that ˹you can see that˺ the cost of loving someone for the sake of ALLĀH is that each person shows sincerity towards the other by advising him, always and forever telling him to do good and preventing him from bad—he is more constant in advising him than that person’s own shadow is close—for this reason it has been authentically reported that when parting from one another, one of the habits of the Companions was that one of them would read to the other,
وَٱلۡعَصۡرِ ۞ إِنَّ ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ لَفِی خُسۡرٍ ۞ إِلَّا ٱلَّذِینَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ وَتَوَاصَوۡا۟ بِٱلۡحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوۡا۟ بِٱلصَّبۡرِ
By Time! Indeed, mankind is in loss. Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience. (Al-Asr: 1-3)
📚 Al-Hāwi min Fatāwā al-Albāni (pp. 165-166)
Questioner: Someone who loves a person for the sake of ALLĀH, must he say, "I love you for the sake of ALLĀH," to him?
Sheikh Al-Albāni: Yes, but loving for the sake of ALLĀH has a huge price, only very few people pay it. Do you know what the price for loving someone for ALLĀH’s sake is? Do any of you know the price?
Someone present: The Most High said,
وَٱلۡعَصۡرِ ۞ إِنَّ ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ لَفِی خُسۡرٍ ۞ إِلَّا ٱلَّذِینَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ وَتَوَاصَوۡا۟ بِٱلۡحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوۡا۟ بِٱلصَّبۡرِ
By Time! Indeed, mankind is in loss. Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience. (Al-Asr: 1-3)
Sheikh Al-Albāni: Well done. That is the answer.
And an explanation of that is that if I really love you for the sake of ALLĀH I would persist in advising you, and you would do the same. Persevering in advising one another is very rare between those who claim to love each other, this love might have some sincerity in it, but it is not complete, because we try to make an allowance for the other, afraid that the other person will become angry, that he will flee … and so on.
It is in light of this that ˹you can see that˺ the cost of loving someone for the sake of ALLĀH is that each person shows sincerity towards the other by advising him, always and forever telling him to do good and preventing him from bad—he is more constant in advising him than that person’s own shadow is close—for this reason it has been authentically reported that when parting from one another, one of the habits of the Companions was that one of them would read to the other,
وَٱلۡعَصۡرِ ۞ إِنَّ ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ لَفِی خُسۡرٍ ۞ إِلَّا ٱلَّذِینَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ وَتَوَاصَوۡا۟ بِٱلۡحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوۡا۟ بِٱلصَّبۡرِ
By Time! Indeed, mankind is in loss. Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience. (Al-Asr: 1-3)
📚 Al-Hāwi min Fatāwā al-Albāni (pp. 165-166)
💯17👍4
Ibn Taymiyyah on Love |
When you love a person for the sake of Allāh, your love for them is rooted in your love for Allāh. You love them because of their faith, obedience, and closeness to Him. Remembering such a person reminds you of the obedience to Allāh that you love, and this strengthens your love for Allāh and your love for those who are beloved to Him.
In contrast, love that is based only on worldly benefit, such as what someone gives you, does for you, or how they make you feel, is connected to those benefits. When the benefit comes to an end, that love often weakens or disappears. The strongest and most lasting love is the love that is for the sake of Allāh.
Love is at the heart of worship. True worship is founded upon complete love of Allāh together with humility and submission to Him. It is from the creed of Ahl al Sunnah to love Allāh and His Messenger ﷺ more than anyone or anything else. Every other righteous love follows from this foundation.
The Prophet ﷺ informed us that among the seven who will be shaded by Allāh on the Day when there is no shade but His is "two people who loved one another for the sake of Allāh, meeting and parting upon that."
May Allāh make us among them. May He fill our hearts with love for Him and make His love and the love of His Messenger ﷺ the greatest love in our hearts. Āmīn. ✨
When you love a person for the sake of Allāh, your love for them is rooted in your love for Allāh. You love them because of their faith, obedience, and closeness to Him. Remembering such a person reminds you of the obedience to Allāh that you love, and this strengthens your love for Allāh and your love for those who are beloved to Him.
In contrast, love that is based only on worldly benefit, such as what someone gives you, does for you, or how they make you feel, is connected to those benefits. When the benefit comes to an end, that love often weakens or disappears. The strongest and most lasting love is the love that is for the sake of Allāh.
Love is at the heart of worship. True worship is founded upon complete love of Allāh together with humility and submission to Him. It is from the creed of Ahl al Sunnah to love Allāh and His Messenger ﷺ more than anyone or anything else. Every other righteous love follows from this foundation.
The Prophet ﷺ informed us that among the seven who will be shaded by Allāh on the Day when there is no shade but His is "two people who loved one another for the sake of Allāh, meeting and parting upon that."
May Allāh make us among them. May He fill our hearts with love for Him and make His love and the love of His Messenger ﷺ the greatest love in our hearts. Āmīn. ✨
💯17🕊2
Loving Women is from Perfection
Shaykh Ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله said:
‘As for loving women, then there is no blame upon the person who loves them. In fact it is from his perfection. Indeed Allāh -Subhanahu- blessed His worshippers with women, He said:
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.” [Rum: 21]
Allāh has made so that a woman is tranquillity for the man, where his heart finds rest and peace with her. Allāh placed sincere love between the husband and wife, which is (al-Muwada) love and friendship linked with mercy.’
📖 [Taken from Daa’ wa Da’wa p.552]
Shaykh Ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله said:
‘As for loving women, then there is no blame upon the person who loves them. In fact it is from his perfection. Indeed Allāh -Subhanahu- blessed His worshippers with women, He said:
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.” [Rum: 21]
Allāh has made so that a woman is tranquillity for the man, where his heart finds rest and peace with her. Allāh placed sincere love between the husband and wife, which is (al-Muwada) love and friendship linked with mercy.’
📖 [Taken from Daa’ wa Da’wa p.552]
💯9👍2
Some people are getting married. Some are building successful careers. Some are achieving goals you have been praying for years to attain. Meanwhile, you may find yourself waiting, struggling, or wondering when your turn will come.
But do not let comparison make you ungrateful, hopeless, or discouraged. At the same time, do not use "Allah's timing" as an excuse to stop striving.
Islam teaches us to trust Allah ﷻ while continuing to make an effort. We are commanded to work, learn, seek, improve ourselves, and pursue what is good while leaving the outcome to Allah ﷻ.
Allah ﷻ says: "And that there is not for man except that [good] for which he strives." —Qur'an 53:39
Keep making du'a. Keep improving yourself. Keep taking the means that Allah ﷻ has placed before you. If the result is delayed, do not assume that Allah ﷻ has forgotten you.
Sometimes, a delay is protection. Sometimes, it is preparation. Sometimes, it is a lesson that will make you stronger, wiser, and more grateful when the blessing finally arrives.
Allah ﷻ says: "Perhaps you dislike a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. Allah knows, while you know not." Qur'an 2:216
Your journey is not behind anyone else's. Allah ﷻ is not comparing your timeline to theirs, and neither should you.
Keep striving. Keep trusting. Keep moving forward.
What Allah ﷻ has written for you will never miss you, and what He has withheld from you is never without wisdom. Trust Allah enough to be patient, and obey Allah enough to keep working.
But do not let comparison make you ungrateful, hopeless, or discouraged. At the same time, do not use "Allah's timing" as an excuse to stop striving.
Islam teaches us to trust Allah ﷻ while continuing to make an effort. We are commanded to work, learn, seek, improve ourselves, and pursue what is good while leaving the outcome to Allah ﷻ.
Allah ﷻ says: "And that there is not for man except that [good] for which he strives." —Qur'an 53:39
Keep making du'a. Keep improving yourself. Keep taking the means that Allah ﷻ has placed before you. If the result is delayed, do not assume that Allah ﷻ has forgotten you.
Sometimes, a delay is protection. Sometimes, it is preparation. Sometimes, it is a lesson that will make you stronger, wiser, and more grateful when the blessing finally arrives.
Allah ﷻ says: "Perhaps you dislike a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. Allah knows, while you know not." Qur'an 2:216
Your journey is not behind anyone else's. Allah ﷻ is not comparing your timeline to theirs, and neither should you.
Keep striving. Keep trusting. Keep moving forward.
What Allah ﷻ has written for you will never miss you, and what He has withheld from you is never without wisdom. Trust Allah enough to be patient, and obey Allah enough to keep working.
💯18👍7⚡3
MUSLIM MARRIAGE 💎 TIPS
Ladies, if your husband comes home and the first thing he hears is complaints, bills, problems, and what he did wrong…
Don’t be surprised when he starts spending more time at work.
Every man wants to come home to peace.
The world has already fought him all day.
Don’t make home feel like the second shift.
https://t.me/MuslimMarriageTips
Follow the Muslim Marriage Tips channel on WhatsApp: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbBsZqXH5JLy9dng2V1L
Ladies, if your husband comes home and the first thing he hears is complaints, bills, problems, and what he did wrong…
Don’t be surprised when he starts spending more time at work.
Every man wants to come home to peace.
The world has already fought him all day.
Don’t make home feel like the second shift.
https://t.me/MuslimMarriageTips
Follow the Muslim Marriage Tips channel on WhatsApp: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbBsZqXH5JLy9dng2V1L
👍8😢4💯4
Not everything your husband does is your business to question—especially if you know he’s a good, loyal, and responsible man.
Trust his authority and leadership. That’s part of what it means to submit with love and dignity.
When you trust your husband’s judgment, you’re also trusting that his actions have wisdom behind them—even if you don’t always understand them right away.
As a woman who honors her role, if my husband doesn’t seek my advice, I don’t impose my opinion. I simply support him and say, “I believe in you.” And refrain from being nosey and curious if it’s something he wants to figure out on his own.
That’s not weakness. It’s strength and respect.
Allah warned us that too much suspicions are sins. And as Muslims, we need to keep in mind that too much doubt is from Shaytan.
And guess what? Constantly monitoring or questioning a man will never stop him from cheating if that’s what he truly intends. But a loyal, respected man? He thrives in trust—not surveillance.
We pray for their guidance. We pray for their protection. We leave them in the care of Allah. We don’t submit to shaytan’s whisperings.
Don’t be an insecure woman chasing to have authority and control. Be a woman of honor, who makes du’a for Allah to protect you both from the fitnah of betrayal, to preserve your love, and to keep both your hearts firm in obedience to Him.
Because real security doesn’t come from control. It comes from self-respect and tawakkul to Allah.
Trust his authority and leadership. That’s part of what it means to submit with love and dignity.
When you trust your husband’s judgment, you’re also trusting that his actions have wisdom behind them—even if you don’t always understand them right away.
As a woman who honors her role, if my husband doesn’t seek my advice, I don’t impose my opinion. I simply support him and say, “I believe in you.” And refrain from being nosey and curious if it’s something he wants to figure out on his own.
That’s not weakness. It’s strength and respect.
Allah warned us that too much suspicions are sins. And as Muslims, we need to keep in mind that too much doubt is from Shaytan.
And guess what? Constantly monitoring or questioning a man will never stop him from cheating if that’s what he truly intends. But a loyal, respected man? He thrives in trust—not surveillance.
We pray for their guidance. We pray for their protection. We leave them in the care of Allah. We don’t submit to shaytan’s whisperings.
Don’t be an insecure woman chasing to have authority and control. Be a woman of honor, who makes du’a for Allah to protect you both from the fitnah of betrayal, to preserve your love, and to keep both your hearts firm in obedience to Him.
Because real security doesn’t come from control. It comes from self-respect and tawakkul to Allah.
👍16💯7💔1
*MY EXPERIENCE SO FAR IN MATCHMAKING:*
My experience so far in this mission has shown the following weak points in the Ummah..
*Muslim men and women searching for spouse look out for physical beauty over spiritual growth.*
*Some Muslims men are too emphatic of spouse good in sexual acts as if 24/7thats the basis of their lives.*
*Muslim ladies not Hijaab concious want concious brothers but brothers want ready made sisters with Hijaab or Niqaabi.*
*Many easily say "YES" or "NO" without praying ISTIKHARAH as if their decision has nothing to do with Allaah Subuhanahu wa Ta'ala.*
*Many want never married before sisters (while they're after one or two themselves forgetting the Prophet was chaste when he married Khadijah, a widow.* (I know it's your choice)
*Many sisters have "fancy dream man". Not wanting to face reality with prayer.*
*The truth:*
*Most beautiful ladies lack faith, often.*
*Most rich brothers are set for thaniyyah, thulathah or Ruba'ah as if money is the criteria for polygamy.*
*You don't want a struggling or poor looking brother, then do thaniyyah or thulathah or Ruba'ah.*
*You want a pious brother, then don't expect him to be rich.*
*You want a pious sister but she must be beautiful like angel, go to the heavens to get one.*
*You don't want a divorced person but you are also a divorcee.* (YOU HAD passed experience is not a yardstick).
*You prefer Muslimah from a certain tribe as if you have evidence for that in Qur'an and Sunnah.*
*Fear Allaah Subuhanahu Wa Ta'ala in what you are searching for in spouse.!*
*SPECIAL PACKAGES:*
*LOW EDUCATIONAL SISTERS, o level or less, contact us. NIQAABI AND KHIMAR sisters, many pious BROTHERS seek your hands.*
O AllaaH, count this among our many accepted acts of Ibaadah.
Aameen.
✍🏼
*BHMC*
*BETTER HALF MARRIAGE CONSULTS*
My experience so far in this mission has shown the following weak points in the Ummah..
*Muslim men and women searching for spouse look out for physical beauty over spiritual growth.*
*Some Muslims men are too emphatic of spouse good in sexual acts as if 24/7thats the basis of their lives.*
*Muslim ladies not Hijaab concious want concious brothers but brothers want ready made sisters with Hijaab or Niqaabi.*
*Many easily say "YES" or "NO" without praying ISTIKHARAH as if their decision has nothing to do with Allaah Subuhanahu wa Ta'ala.*
*Many want never married before sisters (while they're after one or two themselves forgetting the Prophet was chaste when he married Khadijah, a widow.* (I know it's your choice)
*Many sisters have "fancy dream man". Not wanting to face reality with prayer.*
*The truth:*
*Most beautiful ladies lack faith, often.*
*Most rich brothers are set for thaniyyah, thulathah or Ruba'ah as if money is the criteria for polygamy.*
*You don't want a struggling or poor looking brother, then do thaniyyah or thulathah or Ruba'ah.*
*You want a pious brother, then don't expect him to be rich.*
*You want a pious sister but she must be beautiful like angel, go to the heavens to get one.*
*You don't want a divorced person but you are also a divorcee.* (YOU HAD passed experience is not a yardstick).
*You prefer Muslimah from a certain tribe as if you have evidence for that in Qur'an and Sunnah.*
*Fear Allaah Subuhanahu Wa Ta'ala in what you are searching for in spouse.!*
*SPECIAL PACKAGES:*
*LOW EDUCATIONAL SISTERS, o level or less, contact us. NIQAABI AND KHIMAR sisters, many pious BROTHERS seek your hands.*
O AllaaH, count this among our many accepted acts of Ibaadah.
Aameen.
✍🏼
*BHMC*
*BETTER HALF MARRIAGE CONSULTS*
💯11🕊4
Any bias you have against marriage, there are a thousand marriages that will prove you right.
Men are monsters? You will find a thousand cases of monstrous husbands that prove you right.
Wives aren't worth it in the 21st century? There are many tales of wives that will make you throw a party for staying single.
Marriage is not an achievment? Certainly, you will find women to whom marriage was their worst nightmare.
Men who give their all to marriage in their strong days, suffer loneliness in old age? Of course, there are "bachelor" living old men whose wives are busy jumping from one child's house to the other, abandoning him to his fate at a time his strength fails him.
Men regret going into polygyny? Yes, you will find those that regret venturing into it.
Think of any bias you might have and you will always find justifiable examples for it. In fact, the moment you hold a bias, your mind will filter occurrences around you and only those that support your bias will show up in your subconscious more often. The fact that you are even prone to confirmation bias adds to the frequency of how often you see examples that make you nod your head.
Yet, it doesn't mean your bias is a standard. For every bad example there is a good alternative. You only chosed to define a thing by all that is wrong about it.
Imagine defining Physics by the atomic b*mb used on Japan. Or defining Medicine and epidemiology by the use of smallpox as a bioweapon by the Brit*sh on Nátive Américáns, or Chemistry by the use of toxic chemical gas by Syrià's Bshār Asād, as well as Isra*l's use of white phòsphòrus on Paléstiniáns.
In each of these examples, there are a thousand alternative goods to think of and anyone arguing for the definition of these fields based on the evils people do with or in it will be considered ridiculous and unrealistic. It is same for marriage!
Your marital biases aren't standards for marriage. Your personal experience may make you bitter about marriage, it doesn't invalidate thousands of others having it great in marriage.
Pessimism and optimism will always be open options, and sane people will always choose optimism. Pessimism and negativity are for bitter and mischievous people.
Abu Imrān
Men are monsters? You will find a thousand cases of monstrous husbands that prove you right.
Wives aren't worth it in the 21st century? There are many tales of wives that will make you throw a party for staying single.
Marriage is not an achievment? Certainly, you will find women to whom marriage was their worst nightmare.
Men who give their all to marriage in their strong days, suffer loneliness in old age? Of course, there are "bachelor" living old men whose wives are busy jumping from one child's house to the other, abandoning him to his fate at a time his strength fails him.
Men regret going into polygyny? Yes, you will find those that regret venturing into it.
Think of any bias you might have and you will always find justifiable examples for it. In fact, the moment you hold a bias, your mind will filter occurrences around you and only those that support your bias will show up in your subconscious more often. The fact that you are even prone to confirmation bias adds to the frequency of how often you see examples that make you nod your head.
Yet, it doesn't mean your bias is a standard. For every bad example there is a good alternative. You only chosed to define a thing by all that is wrong about it.
Imagine defining Physics by the atomic b*mb used on Japan. Or defining Medicine and epidemiology by the use of smallpox as a bioweapon by the Brit*sh on Nátive Américáns, or Chemistry by the use of toxic chemical gas by Syrià's Bshār Asād, as well as Isra*l's use of white phòsphòrus on Paléstiniáns.
In each of these examples, there are a thousand alternative goods to think of and anyone arguing for the definition of these fields based on the evils people do with or in it will be considered ridiculous and unrealistic. It is same for marriage!
Your marital biases aren't standards for marriage. Your personal experience may make you bitter about marriage, it doesn't invalidate thousands of others having it great in marriage.
Pessimism and optimism will always be open options, and sane people will always choose optimism. Pessimism and negativity are for bitter and mischievous people.
Abu Imrān
👍14
DO NOT COMPARE YOUR MARRIAGE WITH OTHERS!
The fact that marriage isn't a bed of roses as the adage goes speaks volume. Habeebaty, the rich also cry, and the poor sister in your neighborhood whom you see striving day in day-out is happy in that tiny room of hers; she is equally at peace and this is due to her contentment, sacrifices, and patient in the marriage. Be content, be thankful, and continue to have a reliance on Allah. Do not compare your self and your marriage with anyone. Do not see yourself weak, for indeed you are strong by the will of Allaah!.
Habeebaty, know that all that glitters are not gold and all your sacrifices come endurance is well known by Allaah and of course, rewardable. How many people eat three times a day, live in a glass house and yet have a marriage of pain and agony. A marriage filled with trials and test of life. Yes, and don't get it twisted. Every marriage comes with its own test and trials, which is from Allaah to know the pious among us; for Allah to know those who will be patient when trial strikes; those who will indeed refer back to Allah and Rasulullah and not those who will seek aids and help from anything else except Allaah!
You will be amazed to know what your friend concealed in her marriage. Indeed the endurance she has and will continue to exercise. So, be mindful habeebaty and show gratitude for the life you have.
May Allaah ease your affairs and make your marriage a place of tranquility for you amyin!
Umm Sumayyah Mai
April lst, 2017
The fact that marriage isn't a bed of roses as the adage goes speaks volume. Habeebaty, the rich also cry, and the poor sister in your neighborhood whom you see striving day in day-out is happy in that tiny room of hers; she is equally at peace and this is due to her contentment, sacrifices, and patient in the marriage. Be content, be thankful, and continue to have a reliance on Allah. Do not compare your self and your marriage with anyone. Do not see yourself weak, for indeed you are strong by the will of Allaah!.
Habeebaty, know that all that glitters are not gold and all your sacrifices come endurance is well known by Allaah and of course, rewardable. How many people eat three times a day, live in a glass house and yet have a marriage of pain and agony. A marriage filled with trials and test of life. Yes, and don't get it twisted. Every marriage comes with its own test and trials, which is from Allaah to know the pious among us; for Allah to know those who will be patient when trial strikes; those who will indeed refer back to Allah and Rasulullah and not those who will seek aids and help from anything else except Allaah!
You will be amazed to know what your friend concealed in her marriage. Indeed the endurance she has and will continue to exercise. So, be mindful habeebaty and show gratitude for the life you have.
May Allaah ease your affairs and make your marriage a place of tranquility for you amyin!
Umm Sumayyah Mai
April lst, 2017
💯10👍3
How blessed is a Muslimah that she doesn’t have to be everything for her husband and that he can find other wives to fulfil where she is deficient whereas the man must be everything to her.
Truly a religion that favours women over men Subn’Allah
Truly a religion that favours women over men Subn’Allah
👍9💯7😢4
Forwarded from Muslim Health Tips
Erectile dysfunction is not just a bedroom problem.
It is silently destroying marriages.
Not because of the lack of sex.
But because of the distance that follows.
A husband stops initiating because he is afraid of failing.
A wife starts believing she is no longer desired.
Conversations become shorter.
Affection disappears.
Rejection is misunderstood.
Resentment quietly takes its place.
Many couples sleep in the same bed for years while feeling like strangers.
The tragedy is that millions suffer in silence.
Most men never seek help because they mistake erectile dysfunction for a blow to their masculinity.
It isn’t.
In many cases, erectile dysfunction is the first warning sign of an underlying medical problem.
Diabetes.
High blood pressure.
Insulin resistance.
Obesity.
Poor sleep.
Stress.
Depression.
Low testosterone.
Smoking.
Cardiovascular disease.
Sometimes the penis warns you years before the heart does.
Erectile dysfunction is not a character flaw.
It is a health problem.
Treat the cause, not just the symptom.
And remember:
The strongest man in the room is not the one who hides his problem.
It is the one who has the courage to talk about it, seek help, and save both his health and his marriage.
It is silently destroying marriages.
Not because of the lack of sex.
But because of the distance that follows.
A husband stops initiating because he is afraid of failing.
A wife starts believing she is no longer desired.
Conversations become shorter.
Affection disappears.
Rejection is misunderstood.
Resentment quietly takes its place.
Many couples sleep in the same bed for years while feeling like strangers.
The tragedy is that millions suffer in silence.
Most men never seek help because they mistake erectile dysfunction for a blow to their masculinity.
It isn’t.
In many cases, erectile dysfunction is the first warning sign of an underlying medical problem.
Diabetes.
High blood pressure.
Insulin resistance.
Obesity.
Poor sleep.
Stress.
Depression.
Low testosterone.
Smoking.
Cardiovascular disease.
Sometimes the penis warns you years before the heart does.
Erectile dysfunction is not a character flaw.
It is a health problem.
Treat the cause, not just the symptom.
And remember:
The strongest man in the room is not the one who hides his problem.
It is the one who has the courage to talk about it, seek help, and save both his health and his marriage.
💯12👍5⚡3
"40 Years of Marriage Without a Single Argument" 🤍
When Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal's wife passed away, he said:
«"By Allah, I lived with her for 40 years, and we never had a single argument."»
Someone asked him, "How was that possible?"
He replied:
«"Whenever she became upset and wanted to argue, I remained calm. And whenever I became upset and wanted to argue, she remained calm."»
A successful marriage isn't about two people who never disagree—it's about two people who choose patience, mercy, and understanding over anger. Sometimes, the greatest victory is not winning an argument but protecting the peace and love between husband and wife.
May Allah bless every marriage with patience, mercy, tranquility, and lasting love. Ameen. 🤲❤️
When Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal's wife passed away, he said:
«"By Allah, I lived with her for 40 years, and we never had a single argument."»
Someone asked him, "How was that possible?"
He replied:
«"Whenever she became upset and wanted to argue, I remained calm. And whenever I became upset and wanted to argue, she remained calm."»
A successful marriage isn't about two people who never disagree—it's about two people who choose patience, mercy, and understanding over anger. Sometimes, the greatest victory is not winning an argument but protecting the peace and love between husband and wife.
May Allah bless every marriage with patience, mercy, tranquility, and lasting love. Ameen. 🤲❤️
💯22👍12🕊3💔3
From a sister..
"We, first wives, do not hate polygyny, we just hate the way it's being practiced..."
Smile, you do not even have the capacity to hate what Allah has permitted. We condemn bad practitioners. Also, we go against frustrating your husbands and the incoming wives ....
A lot of people do not practice monogamy properly, there is divorce in monogamy every three seconds, despite, should we ask people not to get married again?
We cannot condemn polygyny because some people are not doing it properly, rather, those who cannot do it should quietly leave the scene for those who can afford it.
Abu Sheikh
"We, first wives, do not hate polygyny, we just hate the way it's being practiced..."
Smile, you do not even have the capacity to hate what Allah has permitted. We condemn bad practitioners. Also, we go against frustrating your husbands and the incoming wives ....
A lot of people do not practice monogamy properly, there is divorce in monogamy every three seconds, despite, should we ask people not to get married again?
We cannot condemn polygyny because some people are not doing it properly, rather, those who cannot do it should quietly leave the scene for those who can afford it.
Abu Sheikh
💯12👍4💔2