🥷🏻 Those who do not understand the grammar of the heart,🫀how will they comprehend the essence of 💕love?
🥷🏻Marriage is not just about spending nights together; marriage is a promise of togetherness for eternity.
Shaykh Abdur Razaq al-Badr
حفظه الله said: “The home is a place of
tranquility and the wife is also a place of
tranquility. The home is a place of
tranquility for the body, whereasthe wife is a place of tranquility for the soul.”
📚 •Sharh Umdat al-Ahkām
🥷🏻Marriage is not just about spending nights together; marriage is a promise of togetherness for eternity.
Shaykh Abdur Razaq al-Badr
حفظه الله said: “The home is a place of
tranquility and the wife is also a place of
tranquility. The home is a place of
tranquility for the body, whereasthe wife is a place of tranquility for the soul.”
📚 •Sharh Umdat al-Ahkām
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Muslim Marriage Tips pinned «The Pains of Widows and Divorcees. "I beg oo, help me talk to imām, I wan marry oo. My body is asking...," message from a single mother of two who is in dire need of a man in her life. This is just one out of the many we receive on a daily basis. Those women…»
My sister, good marriages aren’t always showcased on social media.
In real life, there are intentional couples who support, grow, and show up for each other with love and care.
No, their marriage isn’t perfect.
But it’s not toxic, cold, or performative.
It’s real, built on mutual respect, effort, and prayer (dua).
In real life, there are intentional couples who support, grow, and show up for each other with love and care.
No, their marriage isn’t perfect.
But it’s not toxic, cold, or performative.
It’s real, built on mutual respect, effort, and prayer (dua).
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Sexual Health Tips
1. The genitals are delicate organs that are private for a reason. It wasn't meant to be a public property. Be mindful of where it goes and what goes into it. It is both an organ of pleasure and a door to regret depending on how you use it.
2. If not because it will be censored, I will have shown you images of genitals infected by Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) if that will prompt you to reconsider certain decisions. They are images I use to teach my students and they are always a sight for sore eyes. The pleasure is not worth gambling your precious genital on illegal territories. Whoever has had multiple sexual partners is a potential carrier of STI, without exception!
3. If you are sexually active and you or your sexual partner has or had another sexual partner, you should get yourself checked often for STI. If you are a woman this is twice as necessary. Untreated STI potentially leads to PID and infertility, and even more dangerous complications.
4. A woman should know the different kinds of discharges from her gentials based on consistency, colour and smell so she can tell when something is amiss and seek prompt medical attention.
5. If you are married and you discover you have an STI, it is left to you how you trace the source of the infection and who you accuse, but it is non-negotiable that you and your spouse, as well as the third person, or fourth... or nth gets treated. Anyone in the sexual triangle must be treated else treatment will be an effort in futility.
6. STIs can also cause infertility in men through inflammation, scarring and even blockage of reproductive tract or affecting sperm quality.
7. Absence of symptoms does not mean absence of infection.
Many STIs (including chlamydia, gonorrhea, HPV, HIV) can be silent for months or years while damage is ongoing. Waiting for pain or discharge before testing is a mistake.
8. Condoms reduce risk; they do not make sèx “safe.”
They lower transmission of many STIs but do not fully protect against skin-to-skin infections like HPV, herpes, or syphilis. Risk is reduced, not eliminated.
9. Oral sèx is not “safe séx.”
STIs such as gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, HPV, and even HIV can be transmitted orally. The mouth is also a mucosal surface. Because of the particular risk of cancer from HPV, I will greatly discourage oral sex being performed on or received from ANYONE whose STI status you don't know or previous sexually history isn't certain, EVEN IF YOU ARE MARRIED. A test should be all it takes to settle this.
10. Repeated STIs increase long-term damage.
Each untreated or repeated infection increases the risk of chronic pelvic pain, ectopic pregnancy, infertility, urethral strictures, and sexual dysfunction. Take the abstinence decision today and stick to it.
11. Antibiotics are not a reset button.
Self-medication, incomplete treatment, or wrong drugs promote resistance. Drug-resistant gonorrhea is now a real and growing menace. Get the right treatment! Complete your treatment.
12. Not all itching or discharge is an STI, but assuming it isn’t can cost you, especially if stays for too long.
Yeast, bacterial vaginosis, dermatitis, and allergies exist, but only testing differentiates them, especially if you are sexually active. Guesswork delays proper care.
13. If a spouse refuses testing, protection, or treatment despite clear evidence of sexual activity outside marriage, they are deliberately putting you in harms way. This is not romance, trust, love or endurance, it is negligence. You have the right to refuse intercourse with a spouse that has had sexual contact outside the marital agreement. Your safety trumps your marital obligation
14. Sexual history matters more than sexual appearance. Clean looks, wealth, education, or religious appearance do not correlate with infection status. Only testing does!
15. Confidential testing exists, use it. Go to the nearest Hospital and get tested.
Fear of stigma should never outweigh fear of permanent damage. Early detection saves organs, fertility, and lives.
1. The genitals are delicate organs that are private for a reason. It wasn't meant to be a public property. Be mindful of where it goes and what goes into it. It is both an organ of pleasure and a door to regret depending on how you use it.
2. If not because it will be censored, I will have shown you images of genitals infected by Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) if that will prompt you to reconsider certain decisions. They are images I use to teach my students and they are always a sight for sore eyes. The pleasure is not worth gambling your precious genital on illegal territories. Whoever has had multiple sexual partners is a potential carrier of STI, without exception!
3. If you are sexually active and you or your sexual partner has or had another sexual partner, you should get yourself checked often for STI. If you are a woman this is twice as necessary. Untreated STI potentially leads to PID and infertility, and even more dangerous complications.
4. A woman should know the different kinds of discharges from her gentials based on consistency, colour and smell so she can tell when something is amiss and seek prompt medical attention.
5. If you are married and you discover you have an STI, it is left to you how you trace the source of the infection and who you accuse, but it is non-negotiable that you and your spouse, as well as the third person, or fourth... or nth gets treated. Anyone in the sexual triangle must be treated else treatment will be an effort in futility.
6. STIs can also cause infertility in men through inflammation, scarring and even blockage of reproductive tract or affecting sperm quality.
7. Absence of symptoms does not mean absence of infection.
Many STIs (including chlamydia, gonorrhea, HPV, HIV) can be silent for months or years while damage is ongoing. Waiting for pain or discharge before testing is a mistake.
8. Condoms reduce risk; they do not make sèx “safe.”
They lower transmission of many STIs but do not fully protect against skin-to-skin infections like HPV, herpes, or syphilis. Risk is reduced, not eliminated.
9. Oral sèx is not “safe séx.”
STIs such as gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, HPV, and even HIV can be transmitted orally. The mouth is also a mucosal surface. Because of the particular risk of cancer from HPV, I will greatly discourage oral sex being performed on or received from ANYONE whose STI status you don't know or previous sexually history isn't certain, EVEN IF YOU ARE MARRIED. A test should be all it takes to settle this.
10. Repeated STIs increase long-term damage.
Each untreated or repeated infection increases the risk of chronic pelvic pain, ectopic pregnancy, infertility, urethral strictures, and sexual dysfunction. Take the abstinence decision today and stick to it.
11. Antibiotics are not a reset button.
Self-medication, incomplete treatment, or wrong drugs promote resistance. Drug-resistant gonorrhea is now a real and growing menace. Get the right treatment! Complete your treatment.
12. Not all itching or discharge is an STI, but assuming it isn’t can cost you, especially if stays for too long.
Yeast, bacterial vaginosis, dermatitis, and allergies exist, but only testing differentiates them, especially if you are sexually active. Guesswork delays proper care.
13. If a spouse refuses testing, protection, or treatment despite clear evidence of sexual activity outside marriage, they are deliberately putting you in harms way. This is not romance, trust, love or endurance, it is negligence. You have the right to refuse intercourse with a spouse that has had sexual contact outside the marital agreement. Your safety trumps your marital obligation
14. Sexual history matters more than sexual appearance. Clean looks, wealth, education, or religious appearance do not correlate with infection status. Only testing does!
15. Confidential testing exists, use it. Go to the nearest Hospital and get tested.
Fear of stigma should never outweigh fear of permanent damage. Early detection saves organs, fertility, and lives.
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In the end, nothing beats abstinence, and this is why a chaste person should not marry other than a chaste person and vice versa. Your innocence will not save you from the consequences of such a decision.
Abu Imrān
Abu Imrān
The Prophet said:
“Whoever comes to you and you’re pleased with their deen and character (khuluq) marry them! If you don’t, there will be corruption and great harm in the earth.”
[Narrated by At-Tirmidhee in ‘Nikaah’, (#1085)]
“Whoever comes to you and you’re pleased with their deen and character (khuluq) marry them! If you don’t, there will be corruption and great harm in the earth.”
[Narrated by At-Tirmidhee in ‘Nikaah’, (#1085)]
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Marriage is beautiful but sometimes we get to the point where we know in our hearts we are no longer interested and nothing can be done to fix it.
This is the point to move on.
Unfortunately, many get here in a state of fight and what already may be a painful process is then turned into a punishment and fight tool by the other.
It is common today to hear the statement "he doesn't want to give me my divorce", effectively ensuring the person stays tied in the marriage and unable to move on.
The idea is that for as long as you are still legally married to one, your profile would not only be less appealing to suitors but you'd also be unable to do much without being accused of infidelity.
This is a very poor approach, not only because deliberate hurt is intended to another but also to yourself.
There is no compulsion in marriage and try as you may, you cannot force a person to stay married to you this way.
In the end, said person would go to the courts and get you sorted anyway so why would you not take the easy way out?
We deal with issues of the heart differently. Sometimes, it is a way to keep things as they are while you try, sometimes it is as described above and other times, it is ego and the "if I can't have you, nobody can" mindset, but in the end, you make things difficult for yourself.
It is already unfortunate that you are having to discuss a divorce, don't use it as a victimisation tool. Do what's needed of you and let everyone go their separate ways in relative peace.
**If you are struggling coming to terms with letting go, reach out for professional help. Sometimes, the marriage can still be saved, other times, you are shown how best to let go. You also deserve the peace from it.
This is the point to move on.
Unfortunately, many get here in a state of fight and what already may be a painful process is then turned into a punishment and fight tool by the other.
It is common today to hear the statement "he doesn't want to give me my divorce", effectively ensuring the person stays tied in the marriage and unable to move on.
The idea is that for as long as you are still legally married to one, your profile would not only be less appealing to suitors but you'd also be unable to do much without being accused of infidelity.
This is a very poor approach, not only because deliberate hurt is intended to another but also to yourself.
There is no compulsion in marriage and try as you may, you cannot force a person to stay married to you this way.
In the end, said person would go to the courts and get you sorted anyway so why would you not take the easy way out?
We deal with issues of the heart differently. Sometimes, it is a way to keep things as they are while you try, sometimes it is as described above and other times, it is ego and the "if I can't have you, nobody can" mindset, but in the end, you make things difficult for yourself.
It is already unfortunate that you are having to discuss a divorce, don't use it as a victimisation tool. Do what's needed of you and let everyone go their separate ways in relative peace.
**If you are struggling coming to terms with letting go, reach out for professional help. Sometimes, the marriage can still be saved, other times, you are shown how best to let go. You also deserve the peace from it.
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THERE IS NO PERFECT WIFE...There is no such thing as a perfect wife. Every woman brings her own strengths, and choosing the right partner means accepting her unique qualities, along with the compromises that come with them. If you choose a working woman, you must understand that she cannot dedicate all her time to managing the household. Her career requires attention and energy, and balance is key. On the other hand, if you choose a housewife, who takes full care of you and the home, you must accept that she is not contributing financially.
If you choose a submissive woman, you need to recognize that she may rely on you more for decision-making and guidance. But if you prefer a brave, independent woman, you must accept that she has her own thoughts, is strong-willed, and may not always conform to traditional roles.
If you choose a beautiful woman, it often comes with the reality that maintaining that appearance can be costly. Likewise, if you choose to be with a great woman, one who is driven and confident, you must understand that she will be firm and unyielding in her beliefs.
No woman is perfect.
Every woman has her own strengths and flaws, and these qualities define who she is and make her unique. Instead of seeking perfection, embrace the individuality of the woman you love and appreciate the beauty in her imperfections.
#wife
If you choose a submissive woman, you need to recognize that she may rely on you more for decision-making and guidance. But if you prefer a brave, independent woman, you must accept that she has her own thoughts, is strong-willed, and may not always conform to traditional roles.
If you choose a beautiful woman, it often comes with the reality that maintaining that appearance can be costly. Likewise, if you choose to be with a great woman, one who is driven and confident, you must understand that she will be firm and unyielding in her beliefs.
No woman is perfect.
Every woman has her own strengths and flaws, and these qualities define who she is and make her unique. Instead of seeking perfection, embrace the individuality of the woman you love and appreciate the beauty in her imperfections.
#wife
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A woman who wants a husband and a woman who wants to be a wife are not the same thing.
One wants the wedding, the ring, the house, the financial security and the status that comes with being married.
The other understands that marriage comes with responsibilities. She is ready to build with a man, stand by him when life gets difficult, protect the relationship, create a home and work through the seasons when love alone is not enough.
Always go for one who wants to be a wife, you will have a good marriage.
A beautiful wedding is one day, but marriage is the everyday things that come after it. Choose someone who's ready for the real work, not just the celebration.
One wants the wedding, the ring, the house, the financial security and the status that comes with being married.
The other understands that marriage comes with responsibilities. She is ready to build with a man, stand by him when life gets difficult, protect the relationship, create a home and work through the seasons when love alone is not enough.
Always go for one who wants to be a wife, you will have a good marriage.
A beautiful wedding is one day, but marriage is the everyday things that come after it. Choose someone who's ready for the real work, not just the celebration.
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The reason many young sisters fall into wrong hands in marriage these days is due to the disobedience and disregard for the Prophet's s.a.w. warning on the choice of partners when he said, "When a muslim whose deen you're pleased with come to seek for your daughter's hand in marriage and you refuse him, then expect fitnah (calamities) in the land and great fasad (immoralities)."
.
When they receive marriage proposal from a pious brother, they complain that he is poor because he has no jeep car or mansion or he cannot rent a big apartment for them. So they ditch him for a more comfortable brother whose deen is questionable. The warning in the hadith comes true on them and they face the punishment of rejecting the proposal of a pious brother.
.
However there are some innocent and naive sisters who seek pious brothers but fall into wrong hands because they didn't do their istisharah along with the istikharah. They fail to thoroughly investigate the brother before accepting his proposal. They rely on the little info they have on him and do not allow some experienced elders to help them investigate him further before accepting him.
.
Shortly after the nikah has been conducted and consummated the brother starts to show his true colour but it's too late then. This results in physical, verbal and emotional abuse and inevitably leads to a bitter divorce. The sister may be left to cater for a child or two and sometimes a pregnancy all alone after divorce.
.
There are so many of our young sisters suffering this plight today. We urge our brothers to take from these divorcee sisters who have been so unfortunate as second, third and fourth wives in order to relieve them of their miseries for most of them slip into depression and later start having suicidal thoughts if not well taken care of on time.
.
They usually need psychological therapy but the best therapy that they are in need of is nikah that is to remarry. This time they need to be extra cautious because once bitten twice shy. This will help to heal their emotional wounds faster and more easily get over their sadness and depression.
.
May Allah ease the affairs of our young divorcees and answer their prayers swiftly. Amin.
.
Fuad-deen Olabisi Kekere-ekun
.
When they receive marriage proposal from a pious brother, they complain that he is poor because he has no jeep car or mansion or he cannot rent a big apartment for them. So they ditch him for a more comfortable brother whose deen is questionable. The warning in the hadith comes true on them and they face the punishment of rejecting the proposal of a pious brother.
.
However there are some innocent and naive sisters who seek pious brothers but fall into wrong hands because they didn't do their istisharah along with the istikharah. They fail to thoroughly investigate the brother before accepting his proposal. They rely on the little info they have on him and do not allow some experienced elders to help them investigate him further before accepting him.
.
Shortly after the nikah has been conducted and consummated the brother starts to show his true colour but it's too late then. This results in physical, verbal and emotional abuse and inevitably leads to a bitter divorce. The sister may be left to cater for a child or two and sometimes a pregnancy all alone after divorce.
.
There are so many of our young sisters suffering this plight today. We urge our brothers to take from these divorcee sisters who have been so unfortunate as second, third and fourth wives in order to relieve them of their miseries for most of them slip into depression and later start having suicidal thoughts if not well taken care of on time.
.
They usually need psychological therapy but the best therapy that they are in need of is nikah that is to remarry. This time they need to be extra cautious because once bitten twice shy. This will help to heal their emotional wounds faster and more easily get over their sadness and depression.
.
May Allah ease the affairs of our young divorcees and answer their prayers swiftly. Amin.
.
Fuad-deen Olabisi Kekere-ekun
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LOOKING FOR YOUR SOULMATE?
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iPhone Download: apps.apple.com/us/app/halal-p…
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The first loneliness in human history was answered not by a friend, but by a spouse. Allah created Hawwa (عليها السلام) for Adam (عليه السلام), establishing the first relationship between husband and wife.
So value your spouse. Don’t take their presence, love, or sacrifices for granted. Treat them with mercy, kindness, and respect, and remember that marriage is a blessing from Allah.
A righteous spouse is not just a life partner, but a companion who can help you grow in Deen and walk towards Jannah together. 🤍
So value your spouse. Don’t take their presence, love, or sacrifices for granted. Treat them with mercy, kindness, and respect, and remember that marriage is a blessing from Allah.
A righteous spouse is not just a life partner, but a companion who can help you grow in Deen and walk towards Jannah together. 🤍
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Marriage means facing many seasons of life together.
Some days you’re smiling while buying a home, traveling, or starting a family; other days you’re arguing, mad, and disconnected. But to be married, you signed up for both the happy days and the hard days.
Through the ups and downs, keep choosing love.
In between the happy announcements and the arguments, remember you’re on the same team.
Some days you’re smiling while buying a home, traveling, or starting a family; other days you’re arguing, mad, and disconnected. But to be married, you signed up for both the happy days and the hard days.
Through the ups and downs, keep choosing love.
In between the happy announcements and the arguments, remember you’re on the same team.
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If you didn't want men commenting "Ma Sha Allāh" on your wife's pics, why did you marry a woman who takes pictures? That's right. You thought you could change her.
A man will marry a kharijee and become.. kharijee. A man will marry a Shee'ah and become... Shee'ah. I've even seen Brothers who married Christians who began celebrating Christmas. The woman has a greater influence on a man than many of us will admit. Choose wisely.
A man will marry a kharijee and become.. kharijee. A man will marry a Shee'ah and become... Shee'ah. I've even seen Brothers who married Christians who began celebrating Christmas. The woman has a greater influence on a man than many of us will admit. Choose wisely.
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Some women have a relationship fantasy where:
“She can insult him, disrespect him, or lose her temper... but he should never get angry.”
“He should know what she needs without her telling him.”
“He should understand her mood without her explaining it.”
“He should fulfil all her dreams.”
“He should always be patient, calm, emotionally available, and somehow read her mind, but she won't do the same for him.”
But here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Your man is not a mind reader.
And love does not make someone immune to your behaviour.
You are allowed to have emotions.
You are allowed to be angry.
You are allowed to have needs.
But so is he.
A healthy relationship isn’t about finding someone who tolerates everything you do because “he loves you.”
It’s about becoming someone who can communicate, take accountability, respect boundaries, and repair after conflict.
Wanting to be loved deeply is healthy human need.
Expecting someone to tolerate disrespect indefinitely is entitlement.
Real love isn’t:
“I can do whatever I want and you still have to stay.”
Real love is:
“Even when I’m angry, I will still respect you.”
#relationshippsychology
#toxicrelationshippatterns
“She can insult him, disrespect him, or lose her temper... but he should never get angry.”
“He should know what she needs without her telling him.”
“He should understand her mood without her explaining it.”
“He should fulfil all her dreams.”
“He should always be patient, calm, emotionally available, and somehow read her mind, but she won't do the same for him.”
But here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Your man is not a mind reader.
And love does not make someone immune to your behaviour.
You are allowed to have emotions.
You are allowed to be angry.
You are allowed to have needs.
But so is he.
A healthy relationship isn’t about finding someone who tolerates everything you do because “he loves you.”
It’s about becoming someone who can communicate, take accountability, respect boundaries, and repair after conflict.
Wanting to be loved deeply is healthy human need.
Expecting someone to tolerate disrespect indefinitely is entitlement.
Real love isn’t:
“I can do whatever I want and you still have to stay.”
Real love is:
“Even when I’m angry, I will still respect you.”
#relationshippsychology
#toxicrelationshippatterns
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How on earth can a man who is just 30 years old have an own house and a car (in these times of inflation and job insecurity)
The woman may be earning peanuts, but the woman and her parents want a rich guy!
No wonder, young men in India are hardly interested in getting married now a days.
#marriage
The woman may be earning peanuts, but the woman and her parents want a rich guy!
No wonder, young men in India are hardly interested in getting married now a days.
#marriage
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Four females occupy a man’s heart: his mother, his wife, his sister and his daughter.
As for the mother; Allaah’s pleasure lies in her pleasure.
As for the sister; kindness to her is a source of blessings.
As for the wife; honouring her is an obligation enjoined by the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم).
As for the daughter; giving her good upbringing and treating her compassionately are key to Paradise.
As for the mother; Allaah’s pleasure lies in her pleasure.
As for the sister; kindness to her is a source of blessings.
As for the wife; honouring her is an obligation enjoined by the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم).
As for the daughter; giving her good upbringing and treating her compassionately are key to Paradise.
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